There doesn't have to be a reason
by RedButterfly33
Summary: "You heard Dorcas. The Death Eaters are recruiting, right here, in Hogwarts." "What're you saying? You want to start our own Anti-Death Eaters?" "And why not? Remember what happened to Mary last year? If they're recruiting, then so should we. Are you with me?" "As if you need to ask."
1. People stare at things a lot

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**People stare at things a lot**

"If you stare at him any more, you might burn a hole on the back of his head," Dorcas whispered into her friend's ear.

"It's not like anyone would even notice with all that smoke," Lisa shot back, tearing her eyes away from the boy measuring dried nettles two tables ahead and a row to the right.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Lucky for you I'm excellent at potions; otherwise I might be a little cross that you're not carrying your weight" she joked good-naturedly.

"You're not _the best_ in the year though," Lisa taunted, nodding behind them, where she knew Lily Evans and Mary McDonald were working. A smile tugged at her lips, as she saw the unmistakable glint in Dorcas' eye, and knew her distraction was successful.

"Not this year. With that falling out she had with Snape, the best student spot is wide open," Dorcas said, as she carefully dipped the Flobberworm Mucus bottle over the tip of their cauldron.

"She wasn't good because she was working with Snape," Lisa noted dryly.

"Maybe, but they're sure to distract each other. The way Remus Lupin distracts you, I might add," Dorcas said shrewdly, making her friend flinch. Lisa cursed under her breath at her unsuccessful ruse and stole another look at him.

"If you fancy him, why wait?" Dorcas whispered in her ear. "Just go up to him and ask him out, or something. You're not kids anymore."

"It's not that," Lisa shook her head slightly, her eyes still lingering on the scales he was holding a minute ago.

"No?" Dorcas lifted an eyebrow. "What's this about then?"

Lisa sighed sadly. She didn't know what exactly was wrong about the way Remus Lupin had treated her in the two weeks since the beginning of their sixth year, but she knew something was different between them. They were never best mates or anything like that, but there was a certain warmth in his voice when he addressed her before. The only feeling she got from talking to him recently was a chilly breeze. She shuddered involuntarily.

"He's just been... acting differently lately," she admitted. Dorcas' eyes were glued to her, as their potion bubbled in front of them, completely forgotten.

"How differently?" Dorcas asked, seeing the hurt in her best friend's eyes. She shot Lupin a glance, but he didn't seem to have changed his disposition towards his friends, at least.

"He's been... less friendly" Lisa replied, not knowing how to put it better. Dorcas' eyes narrowed, as her gaze moved from her distressed friend to the Marauders, Lupin's little friend circle. It consisted of himself, James Potter (one of the Gryffindor Chasers), Sirius Black (disowned pureblood, who had at least three distinct fan clubs devoted to him) and Peter Pettigrew (a short and innocent-looking boy, who seemed to idolize his more popular friends). They were notorious pranksters and rule breakers, when they weren't bullying people for a laugh. Her hand reached down her robes for her wand, but Lisa quickly wrapped her fingers around her wrist.

"No, no, no, I didn't mean he was nasty to me or anything. Put that away before you land us in detention!" Lisa hissed urgently.

"Then say what you mean with less vague statements! I was this close to hexing him!" Dorcas grumbled, shoving the wand back in her robes. With the animosity between Slytherin and Gryffindor growing exponentially lately, she feared Lisa might have a harder time justifying their friendship to her housemates.

"If he needed hexing, I would have done it myself, you know!" Lisa puffed indignantly.

Just as Dorcas was about to respond, the surface of their potion started foaming and bubbling violently, until it burst up, showering everyone in the light purple draught, as some of the more unfortunate students who _didn't_ duck under their tables collapsed to the ground.

"Looks like someone forgot to give it another stir after increasing the heat, eh?" Professor Slughorn chuckled, as he bent down to examine Lisa's cauldron. Dorcas shot her a look and Lisa forced a sheepish smile onto her face.

"Sorry, Professor... it's a bit hard to see the instructions, when my eyes are watery from so much smoke..."

"Quite alright, quite alright... it's only a bit of Sleeping Draught, no harm done. Even the best of us can forget a stir here and there, what with so many blasted cauldrons smoking in the same room" Slughorn beamed. "Just make sure to give your classmates the antidote... I know I had some here..."

"You can get away with _murder_ with that guy," Dorcas whispered, when Slughorn was too busy rummaging through his bag to hear.

"Only because my grandfather used to be Minister for Magic, thirty bloody years ago!" Lisa whispered back with annoyance.

Despite her parents and everyone else around her telling her that being in the "Slug Club" was something of an honor, she couldn't shake the feeling she was being used, polished only so that she may one day serve as another one of Slughorn's 'connections'. The whole concept rubbed her the wrong way, too. Collecting students like stamps, then placing them in favorable position in the wizarding world... she thought people should be promoted based on their abilities, not who their grandparents were.

Dorcas looked around the room, counted all their passed out classmates and sighed. "Looks like I'll be late for Defense."

"Go, I'll take care of it," Lisa offered. She knew Defense Against the Dark Arts was Dorcas' favorite subject. "It was my fault the cauldron exploded anyway."

Dorcas threw a longing look at the dungeon door, but shrugged indifferently. "It wasn't _entirely_ your fault. Just mostly."

Lisa gave her friend a grateful smile, which quickly faded as she saw the Marauders leaving to go to Herbology. Dorcas followed her gaze and frowned.

"We are not done talking about this," she said, as Professor Slughorn made his way towards them with the antidote.

* * *

><p>On Friday, those who wished to continue Care of Magical Creatures past the O.W.L. level, gathered on the third floor to listen to the often very hazardous lessons taught by Professor Kettleburn. Not many chose to continue this particular subject, especially given Professor Kettleburn's tendencies to bring dangerous and often illegal creatures into the closed off space of the classroom. Of all the sixth year Gryffindors only one boy and one girl had chosen to take the class, as most preferred to learn how to <em>defend<em> themselves against dark creatures nowadays, rather than take care of them. So, when on their third lesson of the term Professor Kettleburn finally told them to divide in to couples so they could try to create Ashwinders (a serpent that is created from the remains of a magical fire) to study, everyone quickly found a partner, and as they were the only Gryffindors in the room, Lisa tried to approach Remus. '_It's alright_' she thought, '_just act normal. Maybe you just imagined it after all?_'

"Mind if I join?" she asked Remus, who was already sitting on the ground and conjuring the fire.

"Sure," he said courteously, still staring at the flames.

She sat down cross-legged across him and looked around. The other couples were scattered across the room and were chatting with each other, as Kettleburn was already nodding off on his desk.

"So... this looks like it'll be a pretty breezy lesson, huh?" she tried to smile. Remus nodded shortly, not moving his eyes from the fire.

"Is... is everything... alright with you?" she asked cautiously, finally making him look up.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just... you're not cross with me, are you?"

"Of course not" he objected, and she finally grasped a bit of genuine emotion behind his voice. "What makes you say that?"

"I, hm... it just seems like... you're avoiding me lately."

"I am not. It must be the pressure of sixth year getting to you. Lessons are getting more intense by the day." He gave her a smile, but it never reached his eyes.

"I suppose...," she said hesitantly. She knew full well she was _not_ imagining it, but he simply refused to acknowledge it. His eyes moved back to the fire.

"Are we supposed to... just kill time until the Ashwinder hatches?" Lisa asked, but only got a noncommittal shrug from him.

She tried to start a conversation two or three more times, but he only replied with one or two words, albeit with his usual politeness. Soon that sucked out her enthusiasm, until she just gave up and the two of them waited silently for their Ashwinder to appear, surrounded by the happy chatter of their classmates.

Her eyes also wandered to the fire, and she found herself reminiscing about other times the two of them had been paired up for assignments. Like that time in Charms in third year, when he tried the Cheering charm on her, and got so flustered it made her giggle all throughout the next five days, as his frantic attempts to undo it only sent her into more violent fits of laughter. Her jaw hurt for a month after that. Or last year, when she had tired to help him with his Astronomy homework, only to confuse the entire chart of the Northern with that of the Southern hemisphere and end up ruining the whole thing, so he had to start from scratch. Or in Care of Magical Creatures, when the salamander they were feeding nibbled at his robes, setting them on fire.

It was true that Remus was usually not very talkative to people who weren't his three best friends, but she _had_ gotten him to relax before. So why was he so guarded with her now?

* * *

><p>"Spill" Dorcas said, planting herself across Lisa on the Gryffindor table later at lunch.<p>

"Spill what, my pumpkin juice? I assure you it looks the same in my mouth as it does in the goblet," Lisa said cheekily, trying to avoid her friend's probing.

"You know perfectly well what I want you to spill," Dorcas retorted, unimpressed. "I told you we weren't done talking about it."

"Hey, Meadowes, what're you doing here with us 'Gryffin_dorks_'?" Frank Longbottom, a seventh year, interrupted jokingly from a few seats away and threw a grape at Dorcas.

"None of your bloody business, Longbottom," Dorcas laughed and retaliated by chucking an orange at his head.

"OI! You can kill someone with that!" Frank yelped, narrowly avoiding the projectile and walking over to where the two girls were sitting.

"It's so rare to see you out of the snake pit, Meadowes, don't be so secretive. What brings you to our humble lion's den?" he asked again, sitting down next to Lisa.

"Oh, I thought I might gather some information for You-know-Who. He's bound to let me into his inner circle after I bring him the secrets of the Gryffindor Sheppard's Pie," Dorcas said sarcastically and Lisa and Frank laughed.

A little ways down the table, three fourth year girls regarded them with a mixture of hostility and fear. Dorcas frowned a little.

"Don't mind them, 'Cass," Lisa said in a low voice. "They just can't help themselves. You know as well as I do that Snape and his posse don't exactly encourage inner-house relations right now..."

Dorcas nodded grimly. She couldn't exactly blame those fourth years, after the whispering of joining the Dark Lord, she knew, was strongest in her own common room. She tried to put it aside for now, in favor of interrogating Lisa.

"So... about Lupin. What did he do?"

"Lupin? Did he do something to you?" Frank wheeled on Lisa.

"For the last time, he did NOT do anything!" she shouted, earning herself a few curious glances. "He's just been acting a bit... peculiar, that's all."

Dorcas sighed in frustration. "I knew that already. Can you be more _specific_ this time?"

Lisa looked down at her plate and twirled a lock of blond hair between her fingers nervously.

"It's really not a big deal... he's just... colder," she said.

"Colder?" Frank raised an eyebrow. Dorcas shot him an I-told-you-she-was-being-vague look.

"I don't know how to explain it, alright?" Lisa muttered sadly. "He just treats me differently, and that's that."

Frank's eyes slid over to the doors of the Great Hall, where the Marauders had just appeared. They sat down together and laughed at something Sirius Black said.

"He looks normal to me," Frank noted. "What is this 'deference' expressed in, exactly?"

"He just..." Lisa fumbled, looking for the right words. "He acts more distant... Guarded. Like... like I got on his bad side with something, but he's trying not to be bitter about it."

"Maybe he fancies you," Frank laughed. "Have you snogged anyone in front of him lately?"

Lisa could practically feel the blood rushing to her face as she whacked him across the shoulder. "No!"

"Why don't you just ask him about it?" Dorcas supplied helpfully.

"I tried. He said that nothing's wrong and flat out denied anything was happening at all!" Lisa exclaimed angrily. She didn't know why it even bothered her so much, he still treated her courteously, yet she felt their interactions were completely different now.

"Like I said already, it's not a big deal," she mumbled, looking down at her hands. "I'll get over it."

"You better. I need you on 100%, Fawley," James Potter's voice rang in Lisa's ear, almost making her spill her pumpkin juice. When did he even get behind her?!

"You're such a prat, Potter," came the voice of Lisa's friend and dorm mate Lily Evans, as she and the other Gryffindor girls, Alice, Mary and Marlene came into view.

"You need her on the Quidditch pitch, her troubles be damned, is that it?" she added angrily, staring daggers into him. His right hand immediately went up to his hair, as it often did when he was nervous.

"It's not like that, Evans!" he said defensively. "She said it's not a big deal, whatever it is, and kicking the Slytherins' butts in a couple of weeks might make her feel better!"

"He _is_ the Captain this year, Lily" Lisa called. "He's just looking out for the team. Congratulations, by the way," she turned to James.

"Ah, yes, thanks. I'll post the practice timetable on the bulletin board. Tryouts are tomorrow, so try not to land yourself in detention, Fawley. I want you there to see how well we'll work with the third chaser. You're always welcome to try out, Evans. Some time flying around on a broom will do wonders for your anger issues. Not that you're not beautiful when you're angry," he added with a wink toward Lily and walked away. She just rolled her eyes and took the empty seat next to Lisa.

"The minute I graduate and no longer have to see his insufferable grin, will be the happiest moment of my life," she grumbled, as the other girls sat down as well.

"Maybe you should give him a chance," Alice said gently. "He's been after you for years now, hasn't he? And he did defend you last year..."

Lily's eyes narrowed and the grip on her fork tightened.

"I didn't need _defending_," she said through gritted teeth, her eyes fluttering for a second to the Slytherin table.

Dorcas and Lisa exchanged glances, as they (like everyone else) knew Lily was thinking of her no longer existing friendship with Severus Snape. For a while, Lisa felt a certain kinship with Lily, because they both had Slytherin best friends. That is, until she got to know Snape. Dorcas also glanced toward the Slytherin table, seeing quite a few pairs of eyes watching their little group.

"I guess I'll be going now," she said, getting up. "I'm attracting some... attention. See ya later, Lisa." And with a wave, she went back to her house table.

"Anyway... what troubles are you having?" Mary asked, trying to change the subject. Lily's eyes cleared and she moved them questioningly to Lisa.

"Just family things," she lied smoothly, shooting Frank a warning glance. "My aunt wants to set me up at St. Mungo's after I graduate."

It wasn't a complete lie. Her aunt Aubrey was sure a career as a healer would be perfect for her, and never missed a chance to remind her that all she has to do is have a five-minute conversation with Slughorn to ensure a position. Lisa's nose wrinkled at the idea.

"What's so bad about St. Mungo's?" Lily chimed in, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I'm thinking about applying there after Hogwarts."

"I'm sure it'll be _very hard_ for Slughorn's favorite witch," Marlene hinted not-so-subtly.

Lily threatened to soak Marlene in pumpkin juice, which Marlene called a bluff. Lily, not one to be called a coward, emptied the contents of her goblet right on top of Marlene's hair, and everyone laughed as the two girls chased each other and Lily was trying to apologize in between giggles. Amid her own laughter, Lisa's eyes wandered to the Marauders, as they often did lately. James was looking at Lily with his usual love-struck face, as were Sirius and Peter. But not Remus. Remus Lupin was staring right at her.

She shook her head. Did she imagine that? After a second look, all of the Marauders were looking at the spectacle that was Marlene and Lily. But she was sure that for that one moment, despite his cold demeanor these past few weeks, Remus only had eyes for her.


	2. The East Wing Corridor

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**The East Wing Corridor**

Lisa shifted from foot to foot impatiently, as she waited in the cold Saturday morning for the new recruits to show up. Her Chaser uniform wasn't helping to shield her from the cold October air, and she was eager to get on her broom and warm up. They needed a beater, a seeker and a chaser, after Gideon Prewett, Malcolm McGonagall and Sandra Wood had all graduated last year. It would be hard to find someone as fast as Malcolm, or as strong as Gideon, Lisa thought sadly. She couldn't really say she'd miss Sandra though. Between her and James' constant need to show off, it was a miracle they ever won anything at all! She hoped the new Chaser would help her reign in their big-headed Captain and they'd play as a team for once.

"Well, no point of us freezing to death while we wait. Let's have a bit of practice shall we? I need to know if I should keep an eye today for replacements for you lot," James quipped and pushed himself off the ground.

An unbelievable sense of freedom overwhelmed Lisa as she soared through the air. She had played a bit of Quidditch with Frank Longbottom over the holidays, when her father insisted they pay a visit to his sister, Frank's mother. But other than that, her summer was sad and flight-less, as her parents were worried it'd attract too much attention, and no one wanted _that_ these days. You never knew when Death Eaters might walk by and decide you're a blood traitor and the fact that her father wasn't exactly making his sentiments on the matter vague didn't help matters, either. Lisa didn't take James' threat about replacements seriously, but she still felt a knot in her stomach, as she floated across her Captain.

"Alright team, let's start with some standard maneuvers. Right then, Page, go for the Bludger Backbeat, O'Flaherty - a Double Eight Loop. Fawley, you and I can try out a Porskoff Ploy, and then go for a Reverse Pass. Ready?"

Lisa was not feeling ready at all, but she nodded. The guilt and nervousness from not playing all summer weighed in her stomach like lead. Why did James choose such a move combo to perform on their _first practice_? The Porskoff Ploy was a very easy thing to mess up, required pinpoint timing on the part of the Chasers, not to mention how _spectacularly_ a Reverse Pass could fail. With all the people staring to gather below them, Lisa felt the chances of humiliating herself were rather big. She gripped her broomstick tighter and breathed in and out to calm herself.

Would Remus be watching? No, she wouldn't think about him right now. He probably would be, he's one of James' best mates, and he comes to every game... NO! She would not allow herself to be distracted! '_Concentrate on James_' she told herself. '_You have to be completely in sync for this to work_'. She glanced over at her bespectacled teammate, purposefully avoiding looking at the stands. He gave her an encouraging smile and spun the Quaffle on his finger cockily. Lisa couldn't help but roll her eyes at that, and the knot in her stomach loosened up a little.

James blew the whistle and whizzed through the air and Lisa flew behind him at a slower pace. Suddenly he pulled up and she picked up her speed, observing his movements like a hawk, as his arm muscles twitched and she accelerated abruptly, flying below him just as the Quaffle he dropped was on her level. She grabbed it and flew towards the rings, doing a twist in the air to avoid the one Bludger they were training with. Trying for the Reverse pass now, she concentrated on her peripheral senses and hearing, attempting to sense if James was behind her. When she thought she could hear the faint flapping of robes that weren't hers, Lisa took a chance and threw the Quaffle over her shoulder, hoping he would catch it, then dove sharply to the left. O'Flaherty, who was zooming back and forth between the rings, dived after her, just as James flew past and scored in the rightmost ring.

Applause erupted from below, and the team looked down to see a small crowd that had formed and was waiting for their turn to try out. There were people on the stands too, but Lisa kept her eyes on her broom.

"I suppose everyone's here now," James said, landing on the ground and surveying the crowd. "Alright you blighty runts, form three piles, chasers here, beaters here and seekers over there."

As the tryouts progressed, Lisa couldn't help but notice how good she and James worked off each other. He usually wasn't one for teamwork, preferring to score as much as he can, but this time, he actually _passed_. And he was turning out to be a solid leader as well, something that had worried her ever since she learned of his captaincy. A nagging voice in the back of her head had told her all summer that practices would be irregular because of his frequent detentions, and would most likely consist of parties and illegal drinking of Firewhiskey. She was glad she was wrong though, and thought to herself that he seemed to have grown up since last year.

After three hours and a few Bludger bruises, James settled on Felicity Rickett, a blond third year with quick reflexes for a Seeker, Eddie Cornhill, a burly fifth year for a Beater and Adrian Fleet, another fifth year for a Chaser. Lisa and James worked well with Fleet, but he was easily distracted by the crowd and as a result, his accuracy suffered. Still, he was the best that showed up, so they took what they could get.

As James dismissed everyone, his friends came over and Lisa's stomach flipped once she realized Remus was in fact watching the whole thing. She suddenly felt like she was about to throw up her breakfast.

"That was some brilliant flying there, Prongs," Sirius said, clapping a hand over his mate's shoulder. "Almost kept me from falling asleep." James punched his shoulder playfully. "You too, Fawley. I don't remember you ever being so good during an actual game. Were you trying to impress me?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Maybe I was. Did it work?" Lisa joked, meeting Remus' eyes for only a second.

"Maybe it did. Go out with me and I'll tell you for sure," Sirius shot back, making her laugh.

"What, and thrill our parents that we're keeping the bloodline pure? I don't think so," she said, earning a bark-like laughter from him.

"Damn me and my vow make my mother as miserable as possible! How about a secret date then?"

"Nope, still a pureblood. I don't think I could live with myself."

"I'm not saying we should start shagging like bloody rabbits! Unless, you want to, of course." He winked and everyone within earshot laughed as Lisa's face turned crimson.

"Dream on, Black."

"I think I'll take you up on that. I'll see you in my dreams tonight, Fawley. Wear something... less comfortable," he smirked.

She shoved passed him and hurried to Gryffindor Tower, eager to get out of the uniform and take a shower, before she died from embarrassment.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Lisa happily made her way to the Library. Happily, because Marlene McKinnon showered her with questions about the incredibly fast-spreading rumors that her and Sirius were dating, not helped by the fact that Sirius had wolf-whistled after her as she came down to the common room to escape. The Library was usually empty on a Saturday on the third week of term, so she headed there to avoid her housemates. She needed some peace and quiet right now, to think over some things. Okay, to think over one thing. Ever since Remus started pulling away, she had been more... aware of him. Whenever he was around, she found it hard to look anywhere else and to pay attention to anything that didn't involve him. Lisa even caught herself thinking about him at night and wishing, wanting things to go back to the way there were before. Back when he wasn't avoiding her. Back when he didn't drop his eyes as soon as they crossed hers and back when he was kind and helpful and <em>smiled<em> at her. She hadn't realized how much she'd miss that smile.

She thought of how desperately she was starting to want to fix it, to do something, _anything_ about it. But what could she do? Talking to him about it didn't yield anything, and his attitude was different exclusively towards her, so most people hadn't even noticed it. Lisa even asked James before tryouts if he was feeling aright, but all she got as a response was 'Yeah, why wouldn't he be?'. She considered taking Sirius up on that date offer for a moment to thoroughly interrogate him, but dismissed the idea just as quickly. James hadn't told her anything, and he didn't have a reason to hide it, if he knew. And as self-absorbed as _he_ could be, his best friend was ten times worse.

'_Enough is enough!_' Lisa told herself firmly, feeling an all too familiar fire in her gut. If he had a problem, he should take it up with her! As Dorcas said, they weren't kids anymore and she deserved an explanation at least, or a chance to apologize, if...

A loud _THUDD _snapped her from her thoughts. She hadn't even realized when she had gotten to the Library. Making a cautious left turn at the Invisibility Section she peeked around the corner and there, at the bottom of the row were two blokes, one pushing the other against the back wall.

"I know your secret," said Severus Snape in a low growl, clutching the front of Remus Lupin's robes.

Lisa's heart went up to her throat, then plummeted to the depths of her stomach.

"_He_ can't keep me quiet forever. And when I tell everyone, you and your tosser friends will be expelled," Snape drawled, every word dripping with poison and twisted delight. "I wonder if they'll send you to Azkaban... For someone like you to relive their worst memory over and over again... how long do you think you'll last before you go mad?"

Remus was staring right at the Slytherin, face white and eyes wide with horror. Before she knew what was happening, Lisa jumped out from around the bookshelf.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" she exclaimed, as Snape let go of Remus' shirt. "You said to wait for you in the Charms Section, right? What're you doing way out here?" she continued merrily, wrapping her hand around his and pulling him away from Snape. The boys gaped at her in confusion, and she took that chance to head to the exit, chattering about charms and homework to keep it going.

"He can't stop me," Snape added menacingly out of nowhere, just as they were about to leave. "You and your little friends, you think you own the school, that the rules don't apply to you because, you're so _great_, but I-" he stopped abruptly, as Lisa's wand pressed against his throat. All pretense of cheerfulness was gone from her eyes, as she glared venomously at Snape. Her blood was thumping in her ears, her rage threatening to blind her.

"If I were you, I wouldn't keep my tongue so loose, _Snivellus_," she said, her voice cool as steel. "I will warn you, but only _once_. If you _ever_ come this close to Remus or his friends again, I will hex you so badly, even your Death Eater buddies won't be able to recognize you. The only reason I'm letting you go scot free now, is Lily." Snape's upper lip curled into a snarl, but he kept his eyes on the wand and kept quiet.

With a final glare at the Slytherin, Lisa put her wand down and dragged Remus off with her without another word.

She just kept walking, her insides boiling with anger. It was true that the Marauders often bullied Snape, but as hard as she tried, she could never imagine any of them sinking as low as he just had. They may have pulled pranks, but they would never revel in the thought of someone going crazy in Azkaban! And how DARE Snape take it out on Remus, who to Lisa's knowledge had never so much as lifted a wand against him, nor called him by that demeaning nickname, given to him by James and Sirius! Remus, who was never anything but courteous, even to those he disliked-...

"Um... Lisa? Where are we going?" Remus' voice snapped her out of her musings. She was still holding his hand in hers, she realized, as she had pulled him behind her all the way to the East Wing on the sixth floor, three floors above the Library. She stopped walking and let go of him, turning around to face him.

"S-Sorry," she murmured, as a hundred searing questions were racing through her mind. She wanted to ask them, to find out what in the world _Remus Lupin_ had to hide that could possibly land him in Azkaban, but just the thought of his blanched face and the idea that he could look at her like that, it made her sick to her stomach. '_I won't ask_' she decided firmly.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I don't know why I froze up like that. It's a bit embarrassing, actually."

She wanted so badly to meet his eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. So she did what she always did when she was nervous: she babbled.

"Yeah, I mean, that's what I thought too, right, because you're brilliant in Defense, and everyone'd think you can take that git in a fight, right, so I wasn't even sure it was you he was talking to, but I'm sure if it was a fair duel you'd cream him, not that I wouldn't have, but Lily, you know, and she did end things last year, but I get this feeling she'd be upset with me, but I did want to hex him, I mean you never did anything to him personally, but I suppose he's always been obsessed with you and your friends and how DARE he do that in the _Library_ where I go to read, now every time I look at a book about invisibility I'll get angry, and if that's on my N.E.W.T.s next year I'll turn him into a Flobberworm and-"

A soft chuckle brought her out of it and her eyes snapped to meet his. And he was standing there, smiling at her, with that same warmth in his eyes, as if they were back in fifth year. She couldn't help but return it, as fireworks were crackling in her stomach at the sight of him looking at her like that again.

"You're rambling," he said.

"Yeah, I do that," she blushed. "Damn Snape. If I go back to the Library, I might end up breaking something! So much for my plan," she muttered mostly to herself. Remus gave her a questioning look. "I was trying to escape the common room," she explained.

"Did Sirius and James throw Dungbombs in there again?" he asked tiredly, making her laugh.

"No, but I might've preferred that to _wolf whistles_. A rumor started about me and Sirius after that joke at tryouts."

Remus made a face and she laughed again.

"Listen, are you busy right now?" Lisa shot before she could stop herself. "I don't want to go back, and like I said, the Library is no longer an option, so... do you want to... walk around with me for a little bit?"

Remus' good humor dissipated almost immediately. He tensed up and she could practically feel the warmth fade from his voice.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," he said.

The smile faded from her face as well and she couldn't believe that he could make her feel so happy one second, then turn around and make her want to cry the next. She felt like he was slipping, like she had him back for a brief moment, but now he was sliding into indifference again.

"Why?" she asked, more bravely than she felt. "Did I do something wrong?"

He looked taken aback, but when he spoke, his voice was perfectly measured and business-like.

"Of course not. I just think that you don't need anymore rumors floating around about you."

"Don't give me that rubbish!" she snapped suddenly, feeling hot anger burning through her. "You've been avoiding me since the year started! You tell me right now why you don't want to walk with me!" Lisa shouted in the empty corridor. She hadn't meant to lose it, but her sadness turned into anger surprisingly quickly.

"I haven't been avoiding you," he shot back.

"Yeah? Then you wouldn't have minded spending time in my company, would you? Unless I'm too boring and unpleasant for you to lose your valuable time with, in which case, I would like you to clarify it so I'd know _why_ you don't want to talk to me!" she yelled again, as he stared at her in shock.

"I never said-"

"You might as well have! If you think I'm boring or loud or a chore to be around, come out and say it! I've put up with it for weeks, with your indifference and your coldness, but don't just stand here and tell me it's not happening or that it's for _my_ sake!" She looked away, feeling her eyes finally well up with tears.

Remus stood there dumbstruck, as if a whole piano had been dropped on his head. He'd made her cry, he thought, and loathed himself for it. It hadn't even occurred to him that she would come to believe he saw her as _unpleasant_. Oh, the irony of it all! Maybe he had been wrong to deny he avoided her, or maybe he should've been better at hiding it altogether.

"Lisa, I didn't think... I never meant..." he started, but had no idea what to say to make it better.

"You didn't think _what_? That I'd notice? That I won't see that you can't even look at me anymore? Merlin, Remus, we've known each other for years! If I did something to offend you, or-"

"You didn't do anything!" he interjected hotly, taking a step toward her. He couldn't believe she would actually think she could do _anything_ to offend him, when just a flash of her smile made him feel better when someone else did. But he couldn't tell her, he had to hold back, he had to, or they'd both regret it.

"Then why?" she asked quietly, slipping back into sadness. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks, but she no longer cared that he'd see them. "What did I do wrong?"

Remus felt like his heart was bound by a dozen metal rings that tightened painfully as he looked into her eyes. Those eyes that had laughed at his jokes, those eyes that were full of life, full of hope... And at that moment, the part of his brain that enabled him to keep himself in check, cracked under the weight of her tears and broke down. He scooped her in his arms and passionately met her lips with his.


	3. A Baby Pumpkin sings Billy Joel

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**A Baby Pumpkin Sings Billy Joel**

It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

A strange, new feeling, being wrapped in his arms, as his warm lips were drinking hers. Lisa had never experienced a kiss like that before. It felt so good, so impossibly good, the fireworks in her stomach were flaring with full force and she thought she might just burst from it all. Her hands clutched the front of his robes, as her mouth moved to reciprocate the kiss. It deepened and deepened, as his arms tightened around her and one of her hands slipped up to cup his face.

The distant laugh of Peeves the poltergeist echoed through the hall and kick-started Remus' brain again.

He pulled away abruptly, startling her a bit. He couldn't do this; he _absolutely_ could not do this! Not knowing, nor wanting to find any words to say, he turned around and bolted down the corridor.

He knew this brief transgression would cost him dearly, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. '_One kiss_' he thought, "_I can experience a kiss in my life._" And without meaning to, he pursed his lips to savor her lingering taste. As soon as he did, he cursed himself for his weakness. As fast as he ran, he couldn't escape the memory, as it played fresh over and over again in his mind. The way her body fit perfectly against his, how she tasted like honey and just how her hand had moved to caress his cheek... He felt his face blush, as the wanting in his stomach urged him to go back there, to hold her again and to experience once more that warmth that no one else could give him...

* * *

><p>Lisa was left alone and confused, to stare down the way Remus had ran. He kissed her and it seemed like he meant it, but then he suddenly ran off! She didn't know what to make of it anymore, what to think about his cryptic behavior. She skulked miserably down the corridor and her feet automatically seemed to take her to the Owlery. She called out to her Tawny owl, Gwen, and gently stroke the feathers on her back when the bird fluttered to land on her shoulder.<p>

Lisa sighed as she leaned on one of the big Owlery windows and her thoughts ran back to that moment when Remus swept her into his arms and the way he had smiled when she babbled about Snape... '_Why can't he be like that all the time?_' she asked herself bitterly. But regardless of his reasons, it seemed that his armor wasn't impenetrable after all. She thought for a second what Dorcas would do in her place and a smile stretched across her face. Her friend was never one to back down from a challenge and did not like losing _one bit_. She would badger and pester him, until she broke through that armor, until she got what she wanted. Lisa frowned a little, remembering that that was also James Potter's favorite tactic when chasing after Lily and that, if anything, it had only decreased his chances. But then again, Lily hadn't kissed James in empty hallways...

"You called?" Dorcas said, entering the Owlery half an hour later, still holding the enchanted origami swan Lisa had used to send her a message. The Gryffindor smiled weakly and gestured for her friend to join her at the window.

"You alright?" Dorcas asked after a brief silence.

"I'll let you know once I figure it out."

"You're starting to freak me out a bit. Snape was muttering something about you to Avery in the Common Room. Did you get on his bad side?"

"He kissed me."

"Snape!?"

"What? No! Lupin!"

Lisa couldn't help the massive smile that spilled onto her face.

"You _snogged_ Remus Lupin?!" Dorcas exclaimed. The blush on her friend's cheeks made her grin. "I _knew_ you fancied him! When and where?"

"About an hour ago, in the East Wing corridor."

"You saucy little minx, you! Well, that's a good thing right? No more pouting about him being 'less friendly'."

"I wouldn't say that." Lisa's smile faded somewhat. "He ran away right after he did it. And before that, he flat out refused to spend time alone with me."

"That bloke's not right in the head," Dorcas said, shaking hers. "What guy in his right mind would refuse alone time with a pretty bird like you?"

"Thanks, but I think it's literally written somewhere that you have to say that when your friends get rejected," Lisa rolled her eyes.

"So what if it is? It's true, at any rate," Dorcas scoffed. "So... what now? You'll continue moping and staring until the end of time?"

"It seems that way," Lisa smiled sadly.

"Oh no, you don't!" Dorcas seized her friend's shoulder and made her turn to face her. "Lisa Fawley, have I taught you nothing? If you want something, you go and _get it_! I won't let you sit around the Owlery and feel sorry for yourself, when there's a perfectly handsome, smart young man you could be snogging! If you want Remus Lupin, go out there and get him!"

"He's not a bloody book I can get from the Library!" Lisa snapped. "He's a person, not an object, and if he doesn't want to snog me, there's nothing I can do about it!"

"Bollocks! He _does_ want to snog you, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now arguing about it!"

"But he didn't want to be alone with me!" Lisa cried angrily. "What if... I don't just want to snog him? What if I want... more than that?" she added in a calmer tone, looking desperately at her friend.

"Stop staring at me like a wounded puppy!" Dorcas scolded her. "You must be daft, if you think Remus Lupin goes around snogging birds just for the hell of it! It's clear the bloke has some issues, but a lack of feelings for you is not one of them! I can tell by the way he looks at you."

"He doesn't look at me," Lisa said unhappily.

"Yes, he does. Just a few moments at a time and _only_ when you aren't looking his way, but he does."

Lisa remembered the moment she thought she'd imagined in the Great Hall and hope fluttered inside her like a swarm of butterflies.

"You really think... I mean, is it possible that he...?"

"That he wants something more too? Yes, I'd bet a solid sum of gold that he does," Dorcas smiled encouragingly. "As far as I know, he's never dated before... but with a lot of persistence and a little bit of luck... I really think you can do this."

* * *

><p>On Monday, the 18 of October, Lisa gathered all the Gryffindor courage she could muster and entered her fist class, Ancient Runes, with the full intention of talking to Remus about what happened on Saturday. He and the Marauders had spent the entirety of Sunday nowhere to be found, but there were no corridors to escape through this time. For her disappointment however, she found James, Sirius and Peter chatting happily in the back without him.<p>

"Is Remus sick again?" she asked Lily, taking her usual seat next to her.

"He's held up at the Hospital Wing," Lily nodded. "I overheard _that_ lot, when they were planning a visit during breakfast," she added, inclining her head towards the Marauders.

Just then, Professor Babbling tapped her wand on the black board, causing a paragraph of complicated runes to appear and told the class to open their books on page 56. Lisa giggled a bit at the way James was feverishly flipping through the pages and Sirius was getting his quill ready for taking notes.

"What?" Lily whispered.

"I just think it's kinda cute, the way James and Sirius take notes for Remus like that," Lisa explained in a low voice. "You know they don't usually bother to do it for themselves."

Lily's eyes shifted over to the Marauders, but the typical sharpness in her gaze whenever she looked at them was somewhat softened this time.

"Well, not everyone can be a slimy git 24/7, right? They have to slip up sometime" she said, causing Lisa to shake in another fit of laughter.

* * *

><p>"There you go, mate" James said, handing Remus a messy, but detailed stack of notes. "That's from Runes, and Defense from yesterday, plus Charms and Transfiguration from today."<p>

"Thank you," Remus smiled weakly. Even if he had a hundred thousand lives, he could never express how much it meant to him that his friends stuck by him, despite his... condition.

"That's enough visiting for one day, boys. You must let him _rest_!" Madam Pomfrey called, rushing towards the Remus' bed. "Now out, all of you!"

"See ya later, Moony" Peter called and his friends started for the door.

"By the way dear, a girl dropped this for you this morning. I didn't want to disturb you before, so here," Madam Pomfrey added, giving Remus a medium small blue box.

At the word 'girl', Sirius' head twisted around so fast, his neck almost snapped.

"A _girl_? You've been holding out on us, Moony! And here I thought I was the dog! Who-"

"Oh, no you don't! I let you stay with him for 15 minutes! _15 minutes_! He's never going to get better if you keep fluttering around his bed! Now out, OUT!" Madam Pomfrey shrieked and chased the Marauders out the door, but not before they managed to throw a few meaningful glances at Remus. The healer had saved him from their questions for now, but he knew that as soon as he stepped foot over the Fat Lady's portrait, they would ambush him for answers.

Of course, he could make a very educated guess on who left the box for him, as he had very few friends outside the Marauders, and even fewer of those were girls. The only ones who would bother to go out of their way before classes just to leave something for him would either be Lily Evans, a longtime friend and fellow prefect, or...

His insides wiggled like snakes just at the thought of her, and his cheek burned where she had touched it. With trembling hands, he lifted the lid and surprisingly came face to face with... a baby pumpkin? He picked it up and inspected it curiously.

"Hey, pal, watch it! Your fingers taste like soap!" it scowled, as it came to life in his hand. "Ya want me to sing ya a tune?" it added with its gruff voice and started singing (terribly off-key) '_James_', a song form the new album of the muggle musician Billy Joel.

Remus stared at it in surprise, a smile creeping onto his face. He picked up the note folded up in the corner of the box and read:

_Dear Remus, _

_I heard you were sick again. I wanted to make you something that would cheer you up, although I suppose your friends already do that, but I felt restless nonetheless and I've never told you this before, but enchanting my own food to sing acapella to me was something I loved doing when I caught __Scrofungulus__ when I was nine and had to stay at St. Mungo's for nearly a month, but it wasn't my fault, really, it was because Frank wanted to visit that blasted garden, and-..._

_I'm rambling again, aren't I?_

Remus smiled, despite himself. Lisa often digressed like that and sometimes the most fascinating tidbits about her life would just casually slip out. But she looked so animated and lively as the waterfall of words fell from her mouth that he couldn't help but stand there and stare at her.

_Anyway, I only wanted to drop you a line to let you know that I want to make a deal. I know it can't be easy, but whatever mess you've gotten yourself into, I still want to be there for you. I promise, I won't ask you any questions and whatever happened in the Library on Saturday will stay between a certain Slytherin and us, I'll make sure of that. But in exchange, I want you to stop alienating me and go back to being my friend. If you agree to do this, give this pumpkin back to me and I will take it as a sign that you want us to go back to normal. If you don't, I'll take the hint, and won't bother you anymore. I just want you to know, that... I care about you. Please don't shut me out._

_Lisa._

* * *

><p>It was a quarter past nine on Thursday night and Lisa's eyes were already tired from staring at the parchment. She was sitting in the common room with Frank, Alice and Lily, as they were all scribbling away on their homework.<p>

"I hate this," Lisa grumbled and threw another piece she got wrong into the fireplace.

Frank laughed dryly. "You hate it now, wait till next year. It's just like O.W.L. year, except _much, much worse._"

"Weren't you supposed to be helping us with Charms?" Lily reminded him, dipping her quill in the ink bottle anew.

"I am. See, I let you have my old notes," he nodded towards the pile of parchment he brought to the table.

"But that'll take _ages_ to go through!" Lisa whined. "Can't you just tell us?"

"I could, but how will you _learn_?" he said theatrically, making Alice chuckle.

"Well, one of us is gonna have to explain it all to Marlene, when she comes back from her date anyway," she noted.

"Looks like we have a volunteer then!" Lisa said quickly. "How noble of you, Alice."

Lily giggled at Alice's shocked face and gave her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry," Lily tried to say, but her attention was immediately drawn to the portrait hole, where the Marauders had just entered, bringing supplies of food from the kitchens and spreading them generously among the Gryffindors.

"Urg, looks like this place won't be safe to study for much longer. I'm going up before Potter sees me" she said hastily and shoved her half-finished essay in her bag. She wasn't even half way there, when James spotted her.

"Hey, Evans!" he called out, and as usual the whole common room turned to watch their spectacle.

The whole room, _but_ Lisa, whose attention was engulfed entirely by the approaching Remus Lupin, who carried a baby pumpkin in his hand. Her heart fluttered up to her throat again.

"Did it have to be off-key?" he asked jovially, holding out the pumpkin for her.

"I thought it'd make you laugh," she smiled weakly, placing her hand on top of it.

Frank's eyes darted between the two of them quickly, before he suddenly stood up.

"Come on, Alice. I'll teach you the basics of turning vinegar into wine," he said, pulling a bemused Alice after him.

Remus used that opportunity and quickly slid beside Lisa on the vacated couch.

"It did," he smiled warmly, like he hadn't noticed Frank and Alice at all.

_Finally, _Lisa thought to herself and once again had to fight back tears. Finally, he was back to normal, and he looked at her in that way he did last week in the East Wing...

"Did you like it? I was sort of wondering if you'd recognize the song," she said sheepishly.

"Billy Joel? How could I not? My mother's crazy about him," he laughed.

"So is Lily! She gave me a record of his for my birthday, so mom and dad had to take me to buy a muggle record player. Dad's fascinated by it."

"Most wizards are, when they come across muggle technology."

"I wish I could bring it in here... some music wouldn't hurt around this place, would it? But the magic's so thick; it won't allow anything that _isn't_ powered by it to work!"

"Good thing, too. Otherwise, we'd have to listen to Billy Joel every day. Imagine the horror!" he joked.

"What music would _you_ prefer, then?" she puffed indignantly.

"Jazz" he answered simply. Lisa erupted in a hearty laughter.

"You would, wouldn't you? That's so... so _you_!" she exclaimed. "Alright, next time I'll charm an orange choir to sing you something _jazzy_."

"As long as it's _on_-key. That last one gave me a headache."

"I thought you said it made you laugh!"

"Made-me-laugh and made-me-want-to-smash-it-against-a-wall are not mutually exclusive," he pointed out.

"Alright, alright! Never send Remus Lupin singing fruits, I got it."

"No! I loved it, really!" he said urgently. She blushed and looked down at her parchment.

"Then I'll definitely make you more," she muttered barely above a whisper.

"Come on Moony, you can catch up on homework later! Come play Fanged Frisbee with us!" Sirius shouted from across the room and threw a handler's glove onto Remus' lap. He shot Lisa an apologetic look and paid for it with a Frisbee bite to the back of the neck.

"Too slow!" Sirius roared in laughter, and the rest of the Gryffindors joined in.


	4. Dorcas Picks a Side

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**Dorcas picks a side**

"Another attack?" Lily asked with concern, peeking over Lisa's shoulder to read the _Daily_ _Prophet_.

The girls were sitting with Mary, Marlene and Alice at the Gryffindor table, when the barn owl carrying the morning paper had arrived.

"Of course there's another one," Lisa sighed heavily. "Four people dead this time. Thing are getting worse and worse every day out there," she added darkly. Alice shuddered visibly next to Lily.

"It's alright, love," Lily said, running her hand comfortingly over her back. "We're safe at Hogwarts."

"No one is safe," Lisa muttered through gritted teeth, watching Snape, Mulciber, Wilkes, Rosier and Avery leave the Great Hall. "Alice is a pureblood, at least. I'm more worried about you," she added towards Lily.

"Sev wouldn't hex me," she said, following Lisa's gaze.

"Even with four other future Death Eaters urging him from behind?" Lisa snorted. "I know you used to be friends Lily, but you shouldn't have that much faith in him."

Lily fixed her with an icy glare.

"You have faith in Dorcas Meadowes," she said coldly.

"One has nothing to do with the other!" Lisa snapped. "Cass despises the Dark Arts, while your slimy excuse for an ex-mate can't stop obsessing over them!"

"Um... girls? Let's not fight... we're all on the same side, yeah?" Alice tried to interject, seeing the angry glares they exchanged.

"Yes, _we_ are. _He_ however plays for the opposite team!" Lisa growled, nodding towards Snape. The memory of him pressing Remus against the Library wall came vividly to the forefront of her mind and the paper crumpled in her hands. "I just want to remind some people of that."

"He _wouldn't_ hex me!" Lily hissed angrily.

"I wouldn't put it past him! But I do hope you're right, Lily, for your own sake," Lisa grumbled, getting up and walking away briskly.

She had a free period, so she headed to the Library, hoping to cool off with a good book on alchemy, but just passing by the Invisibility Section made her anger flare up again. She could hardly blame Lily for having a bit of trouble detaching herself from Snape, but she needed to wise up, before her trusting nature got her in trouble.

After about ten minutes of reading so close to the spot of Snape's last transgression, Lisa found herself constantly twitching to curse something. She gave out an exasperated sigh and checked out a couple of books, thinking she'd head to the common room. Walking and fuming, she tried to distract herself with thoughts about the would-be Alchemy class (that never formed, due to low demand), but the anger was still stewing inside her like a hot cauldron.

As she walked along the seventh floor, she glimpsed the Marauders, heading towards their Arithmancy class. Remus saw her first and regarded her with a quick smile, but she was looking beyond him, where Snape and his gang of Slytherins were waiting for class to begin, huddled against the wall. She saw Snape fix James with a cold stare, as his hand slipped into his robes, almost at the same time as Mulciber's.

"Hey, Fawley. Why so serious?" Sirius greeted her as they neared, but her mind was on other things.

"_Flipendo!_" she yelled without warning, as her wand whipped through the air.

"What in the-" Sirius started to say, but his head snapped around to see Snape fly back through the corridor and slam into the floor.

In a fraction of a second, the Slytherins had their wands out, as did the Marauders. Spells and shouts flew everywhere, and after a couple of very disorienting minutes, it was over. The Slytherins were sprawled on the ground with various injuries (Lisa supposed the elephant trunk on Rosier must've been James' doing), all of them unconscious. Sirius, James and Remus were unharmed, but Peter sported a nasty cut on his leg, and Lisa's left arm was swollen to triple its size and throbbed painfully.

"I can fix that," she said and pointed her want at Peter's leg. "_Vulnera Sanentur__, __Vulnera Sanentur__, __Vulnera Sanentur_" she repeated, as the wound knitted itself.

"You know healing magic?" he squeaked in surprise. Lisa gave him a sour smile.

"I suggest you learn it too. It could be the difference between life and death out there," she said, making the short boy pale.

"What about you? What'd they even hit you with?" James asked, but he never got his answer, as Professor Vector finally opened the door to her classroom to see what all the noise was about.

"_Another_ brawl?" she said, not even sounding surprised. "Do I even have to guess who's involved?" she asked skeptically, moving her eyes from the Slytherins to the Marauders.

"I started it!" Lisa piped up, too annoyed and frustrated to try to hide it. "I saw Snape pull out his wand, so I hexed him!"

Professor Vector's eyes fluttered from the surprised expressions of the Marauders, to Lisa's swollen arm and finally to her face.

"In that case, thirty points from Gryffindor and detention. And get yourself to Madam Pomfrey girl, that arm looks positively ghastly!"

"I'll take her," Remus volunteered, seeing her wince in pain as she tried to bend down to retrieve her school bag.

"Thanks," she muttered when he swung it over his shoulder. He smiled as a response and they started their trek to the Hospital Wing.

"It was probably our fault this whole thing happened," Remus explained as they walked. "James and Sirius thought it'd be hilarious if they bewitched a couple of dusty erasers to follow them around and hit every part of them they could reach. They probably planned to ambush us before Arithmancy."

"_Planned?_ I'd say they almost succeeded," she snapped, irritated.

"... Is something wrong?" he asked, after a small pause.

"Everything's just peachy! People are dying left and right, Lily is a gullible twat and Avery got me with a Stinging jinx! Things couldn't get any better!"

There was a long pause, as Remus stared at her with a stunned face. She felt shame spreading through her body like a hot potion.

"I'm sorry," she sighed heavily. "I didn't mean to blow up in your face like that. It's just... Snape, mainly."

A crease appeared between his eyebrows.

"Did he do something to you?"

"Not directly. He just... gets me all wound up every time he comes up," she admitted, running her fingers through her hair. "I warned him, didn't I? I told him that if he came near you again, I'd hex him without a second thought, and..." she had to stop and take a deep breath, as her rage was raising its head again. "I had a row with Lily this morning, because she's convinced he wouldn't hurt her. I'm worried that'll get her into the Hospital Wing one of these days. Or worse."

"Maybe he really wouldn't," Remus suggested reasonably. "They did use to be close."

"It's... possible, I suppose," she mused, her brows knitting together.

Sinking into unpleasant thoughts about the greasy haired Slytherin, they walked in silence for a while.

"Why a pumpkin?" Remus asked out of nowhere.

"What?"

"Why did you send me a pumpkin?" he repeated. "Why not something else?"

"Uh... because it's close to Halloween. I thought it would be... festive," she explained, the knot in her stomach relaxing a little. "Speaking of which," she added quickly before her resolve wavered, "there's a Hogsmeade visit scheduled for Saturday. Are you going?"

She realized that it would probably be better to ask that sort of question when all of her limbs were their proper size, but it was too late to take it back now. Remus only took a couple of seconds to reply, but it seemed to her she'd never waited longer for someone to speak.

"Yes," he answered slowly. "Sirius and James are bent on raiding Zonko's."

He flinched internally at such a bad lie. If his friends wanted anything in particular from Hogsmeade, they could sneak out literally at any time through one of the numerous tunnels. But Lisa didn't know that.

"Great," she beamed. "Maybe I'll see you there?"

"Yeah, maybe..." he drawled hesitantly. " Listen, I wanted to talk to you about what happened last Saturday... it... I mean, I... I shouldn't have done that," he said quickly and risked a swift glance in her direction.

"Oh" she said, her smile fading somewhat. "Yeah, don't sweat it."

"Really?" He couldn't help but turn to look at her. This was not a reaction he had expected.

"Sure. You've been having a hard time lately, we were in the middle of a row... and it just happened. Don't worry, I get it. We're just friends."

His heart sank down, despite logic. He had thought... for a moment, he allowed himself to believe that she meant it when she... He wanted to kick himself for being so naïve. He really should have known better.

* * *

><p>"<em>We're just friends<em>?!" Dorcas gasped in horror, as she and Lisa were walking down the winded path to Hogsmeade. "Are you _kidding_ me? What ever happened to 'going and getting' him?!"

"Stop being so dramatic," Lisa said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "What else was I supposed to do? You reckon I should've made a scene, started crying, shouting, _demanded_ he started dating me? What would any of that accomplish?"

"At least it would be _something_!" Dorcas whined. "I would've kissed him again on the spot, give him the snog of his life. We'll see if he still regrets it afterwards."

"You would," Lisa smirked. "But I'm trying to _understand_ him. He's one big mystery, but pestering him for answers will only make him uncomfortable. Whatever it is that's happening to him, he doesn't want to share. I'm just trying to respect his personal space."

"Space, shmace," Dorcas waved dismissively. "So what if he's uncomfortable for a few minutes, you'll have the answers! If he's gonna kiss and run, the least he could do is tell you why!"

"I promised him I wouldn't ask questions," Lisa explained. "I don't want to press him too hard; it'll only push him away."

"What about him? It doesn't matter who'd doing the pushing, if you end up farther apart anyway!" the Slytherin insisted. "You should have pressed him!"

"Cass, don't you know men are like dogs?" Lisa grinned. "You have to let them come to _you_. The more you squeeze, the harder they'll struggle to get away."

"Since when are you such an expert on guys? Or on dogs, for that matter?"

"My dad used to own a Dalmatian when I was little. I would throw huge temper tantrums when it ran from me and coiled around his legs. In its defense though, I think the stress from my constant stalking drove it to an early death."

Dorcas' laugh rang through the chilly October air, until a choice few of her housemates blocked the girls' path.

"That's as far as you go, Fawley," said Severus Snape maliciously, shadowed by his usual crew. "It seems Potter and that mutt Lupin are rubbing off on you. Don't think that just because the likes of _them_ can get away with everything, the same goes for you."

At the mention of Remus, Lisa's blood boiled instantly and her whole body tensed. Dorcas subtly placed a hand on her back and tugged at her sweater warningly.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Sour Losers Brigade. What, you lose one duel and start stalking girls that beat you? It's a wonder how all of you are still single," Dorcas said sarcastically.

"Shut your traitor mouth, Meadowes!" Avery growled.

"Or what? You'll suffocate me with your bad breath? And I'm not a traitor, just because I didn't sign up to be a member of the Junior Death Eaters Club! Slytherin House is not Voldemort's official recruitment field!" Dorcas shot back.

"The offer still sands, Meadowes," called Rosier with his deep voice. "The Dark Lord could use someone of your ability."

Lisa's eyes widened in shock and she started turning to face her friend, but a sharp tug at her sweater made her keep her gaze fixed on the other Slytherins. They would talk about this later.

"I thought I was abundantly clear on that point," Dorcas smiled sourly. "You can't intimidate me, like you did with so many others. And I'm afraid I'm just not a big sympathizer of mass murder. Sorry."

"This is your last chance, Meadowes," Rosier repeated. "You're either with us... or you're with _them_. There is no middle ground."

Dorcas shrugged in response and drew her wand. The Slytherins followed, and so did Lisa.

"So that's how it is," Rosier said.

"I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?" Dorcas quipped. "Yeah, that's how it is."

Lisa shot her friend a quick glance. She was grateful Dorcas was sticking by her, but she knew this choice would make her life a lot harder.

"Five on two, huh? I guess chivalry truly is dead," Lisa said, moving her eyes from one wand to another.

"Who says? You're just looking for it in the wrong place!" called the voice of James Potter, as he and his friends were already pointing their wands at the Slytherins' backs, having come from the opposite direction.

"Ladies first," Sirius inclined his head with a smirk.

"Well, _ladies_? Fancy another trip to the Hospital Wing?" Dorcas joked, making the Gryffindors explode with laughter.

Snape looked ready to start spewing curses left and right, but Rosier knew a lost battle when he saw it. He put his wand away and nodded towards the castle. For a moment, some of them looked like they would rather start a fight anyway, but one by one the wands found their way into their respective pockets. With a final murderous glare at Lisa and the Marauders, Snape shoved passed the girls and strode back to Hogwarts.

"That was a convenient appearance on your part," Dorcas noted, putting away her own wand.

"Not really," Sirius snorted. "We saw the slimy gits lurk around here, so we got suspicious."

"You took your sweet time getting ambushed, we've been waiting for fifteen minutes!" James whined, stretching out his arms. "Fancy a drink? Our treat."

The girls exchanged glances and nodded.

"Why not," Dorcas shrugged. "I'm already gonna get hell for what just happened, might as well rub some salt in the wound."

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later, the group made their way to the somewhat crowded Three Broomsticks and miraculously found a booth that could fit all of them. Peter went to get the drinks, as the others sat down.<p>

"I think I feel a draft in here," Dorcas said to Lisa after sliding on the bench next to Remus. "Switch with me?"

Lisa's heart jumped at the proposal, but she rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure you're not _imagining_ it?" Lisa emphasized skeptically.

"I don't feel a draft," Sirius joined in from Remus' other side.

"I am not!" Dorcas insisted. "I almost got into a duel for you today! Now switch with me!"

Lisa sighed and moved to sit next to Remus, both thanking her friend and cursing her for being so obvious.

"So Meadowes, what was that thing you said about getting hell?" James asked, when Peter came back and handed him a butterbeer.

A shadow fell over the Slytherin's eyes, as she gracefully flipped her long black hair behind her shoulder and sighed.

"Things are getting... worse, lately. That lot have been _convincing_ people into joining heir 'cause'."

"Threatening people, you mean" Lisa clarified with disgust.

"So they really are Death Eaters," snarled James.

"I haven't seen the Mark on any of them yet, but that doesn't mean they don't have it," Dorcas agreed darkly.

"How many?" Sirius asked, his shoulders tensing up. Dorcas gave him a pitying look.

"I know what you're really asking. Yes, he's been... enthusiastic about joining. They say he's a bit too young, though, haven't fully accepted him yet," she said, earning a questioning look from Lisa. The Marauders exchanged sad glances.

"Who are you talking about?" the blond Gryffindor asked.

"My brother" Sirius answered her with a mixture of anger and sadness. "He's always been a fool, that Regulus. Ate my parents' rubbish like cauldron cakes. I always knew he'd get himself mixed up with them at some point." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Maybe... maybe it's not too late? We could... convince him," Lisa tried to suggest, placing a hand on his forearm. Remus' eyes lingered on their touch a bit longer than necessary.

"I doubt it," Dorcas shook her head slightly. "If you could see the way he talks about him... about Voldemort... he's too far gone."

"But... there must be _something_ we can do! No one is beyond hope," Lisa insisted.

"This isn't a children's special! There's a real war out there, people are dying!" Dorcas snapped. "You can't save everyone," she added a bit more softly.

Lisa's hands curled into fists in her lap. She knew Dorcas was right, but she wanted to help Sirius somehow. "Does that mean I shouldn't try?"

"Don't be so naïve. Just a few days ago you were preaching the same to Lily," Dorcas reminded her.

James's head perked up at the mention of the redheaded Gryffindor. "Evans? What about her?"

"That was different," Lisa ignored him. "I was warning her about Snape."

"And what makes _him_ beyond help? The fact that you hate him?" Dorcas persisted. "If I told you it was never too late to save Snape, would you be willing to take a shot at it?"

Lisa looked down in shame, realizing how two-faced she was being. No matter how hard she tried, she could never forgive him for what he'd done. The expression he brought to Remus' face and the way he'd so thoroughly enjoyed it all... it made her sick to her stomach. Even if he asked for it, she wasn't sure she'd help him.

"It's not like Snape would jump up at the opportunity to save any of us," Sirius scowled.

"That doesn't mean we should leave him to the wolves!" James retorted unexpectedly and shot Sirius a reprimanding look.

"Whatever," the latter shrugged, but there was a certain edge in his eyes. "Point is, I won't be losing any sleep over the salvation of his soul. Or Regulus'," he added bitterly. "They're not stupid. They've seen what Voldemort is doing and they've chosen their path. You've all read the paper, people who do things like that can't be _reasoned_ back to our side."

A heavy silence fell over the group, as each of them mused over what had just been said.

"But not everybody joins of their own volition," Remus spoke up after a while. "There must be a way to help those that were forced."

"I don't see how," Dorcas said. "I've tried talking to some, but the pressure's too much."

"It's not just in Slytherin either," Peter chimed in. "I've heard rumors the movement is spreading. I overheard a bunch of Ravenclaws talking about it in the loo."

The atmosphere of the table got even gloomier. They had started to branch out.


	5. A Trip to the Kitchens

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

**A trip to the kitchens**

Wednesday's Quidditch practice was a nightmare.

Lisa was doing completely fine, until she saw with the corner of her eye Remus, Peter and Sirius climbing the stands. She tried to concentrate on what was happening on the field, but she couldn't help glancing in their direction every so often, until a Bludger nearly took her head off. James blew the whistle and gestured for the team to land.

"Sirius, I want you off the bloody stands!" he called towards his friends, as they were making their way over.

"What did I do?" Sirius demanded indignantly.

"You're distracting Fawley! She was doing fine before you lot showed up! She keeps dropping the Quaffle and almost ran into O'Flaherty!"

"So I'm banned, just because she can't keep her eyes off me? Bloody hell Prongs, why don't you just ban me from Hogwarts, then?" he smirked arrogantly. Lisa's face was steadily becoming redder than the Quaffle in her hands.

"You two can shag in any broom cupboards you can find _inside_ the castle, but on _this_ _pitch_ I am Captain, so I forbid you to attend practice," James said seriously.

"You can't stop true love, Prongs" Sirius joked, but shrugged and headed back with a final wink towards Lisa.

She stared adamantly at the ground, wishing it would just swallow her already. As if there weren't enough rumors about her and Sirius, he always had to go and make it worse with his near constant flirting. And it added an extra layer of uncomfortable that it was all happening right in front of Remus.

"I'm sorry, James" she uttered quietly. "You don't have to make them leave. I'll do better, I promise."

He regarded her skeptically for a second, then said "Are you sure you'll be ok?"

She nodded, still too embarrassed to look up. He sighed and called after his friends.

"We're gonna get creamed on Friday, aren't we?" Eddie Cornhill murmured, glancing at Lisa.

"Shut your mouth, Cornhill, or you'll find out from the stands," James scowled.

"You don't tell _her_ that," Eddie added scornfully. "If I hex a bunch of Slytherins in your name, will I get special treatment too?"

Lisa felt anger flare up inside her again, but the new seeker, Felicity Rickett, came to her defense.

"Shut up, Eddie. I doubt _you_ can hold your own against them, even _if_ the Captain had your back."

"Which I won't, if you keep this up" James added. "Everyone, back on your brooms. Fawley, pay attention to what's happening in the _air_ this time."

The team soared through the sky and Lisa was thankful to be away from Sirius' flirting and Remus' eyes.

* * *

><p>Lisa rolled around in her bed for three hours, before finally giving up. There was just no point in trying to fall asleep with that tight ball of nerves in her stomach. She threw away the covers and silently wrapped herself in her dressing gown, taking care not to wake her dorm mates and quietly opened the door, descending into the Common Room.<p>

The fire was still flickering in the hearth, casting long shadows on the carpet. The room was empty, filled only with unfinished homework and forgotten knick-knacks strewed over the floor. Lisa found herself a comfortable chair and sank in it miserably. The day after tomorrow, she had to face the Slytherins in the first match of the season. Her performance had been pitiful lately, because the Marauders had made it a point to come to the last few Quidditch practices, which despite her best efforts was very distracting. Whether they did it to mess with her for a laugh or they were genuinely interested in how the team was doing (an interest that wasn't nearly as prevalent last year), knowing Remus was looking at her made her clumsy as a troll.

Eddie started keeping his tongue, but he still threw her a glare here and there, whenever she'd mess up in a more spectacular way. James didn't say anything either, but she knew he was considering benching her, if she wasn't up to playing decently in the match. Lisa worried more about letting her team down, than being told not to play. She prided herself in being an above average flyer, and just the thought of being told she sucks at the one thing she'd always thought she was good at... it felt like a punch in the gut.

Suddenly she heard the low creak of a door opening and someone's soft steps going down the staircase. She considered for a moment whether to lean back into the chair further, or to peek and see who it was, but the choice was made for her.

"Lisa?"

Remus' hair was disheveled, his face pale and tired. He was wearing striped pajamas and an open dressing gown, his right hand bent behind him suspiciously.

"Couldn't sleep?" she supposed, getting up from the chair and approaching him. He shook his head.

"I... had a lot on my mind," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I was just going to pop by the kitchens for a glass of milk, or something..." His eyes wandered to the portrait hole.

"Can I come with? I've never been to the kitchens before," Lisa asked hopefully.

He regarded her with a long look, debating hotly within himself. Being alone with her in the middle of the night would be a _very bad_ idea. But they were just going to the kitchens, nothing else, and all the house elves would be there, so it wasn't like they'd be alone. But if they used James' Invisibility cloak, which he was currently clutching in his fist, they'd have to walk very close together. But it wouldn't matter anyway, because she fancied Sirius, of that he was sure. And what harm could his own twisted feelings be, if he didn't act on them? And he would _not_, seeing as he now knew it was one-sided. She had said it, both in writing and face to face – they were just friends.

"Sure," he nodded, moving the cloak from behind his back.

"Is that an Invisibility Cloak?" Lisa asked intrigued, stepping closer. "My dad gave me one for my birthday last year. He makes it a point to remind me to take it every time I go out. They cost a fortune though, and I've heard they wear out quickly."

"It's James' actually. I'm just borrowing it," Remus explained, throwing the cloak over both of them. "But his family is loaded, so it wouldn't surprise me if it did cost a fortune."

They climbed out of the portrait hole and started down the corridor. Lisa's heart was beating so feverishly, she wondered if he could hear it. The school was empty and surprisingly creepy at night, as she was accustomed to seeing it filled with light and chatter.

"You know, this is my first time sneaking out after hours," she whispered.

"Really? My first time was halfway through first year. James and Sirius roped me into helping them charm the tables in the Great Hall to start dancing in the middle of breakfast."

She chuckled, enjoying the shivers his breath sent down her neck. They crept silently down stairs and through shortcuts she'd never even known about, until they found themselves somewhere on the basement level. Walking down a well-lit corridor, Lisa noticed most of its paintings weren't portraits, but pictures of food. Remus stopped in front of the one with the huge silver fruit bowl and reached his hand out under the cloak, tickling the pained greed pair making it suddenly erupt in loud giggles. Lisa looked around startled, fearing someone would hear and come running, and when her eyes fell on the image again, the pear was replaced with a doorknob, which Remus turned quickly. The whole painting swung forward and he pulled her inside, taking off the cloak of and folding it carefully.

The kitchen was less spectacular than Lisa had imagined it. A high ceiling room with heaps of pots along the walls and a giant fireplace on the other end. The only furniture seemed to consist of exact replicas of the long tables in the Great Hall. Before she could take in anymore of her surroundings, a small battalion of house elves surrounded them.

"Good evening, Masters! Would you like a cup of tea?" one of them squeaked.

"Just two cups of warm milk, if you please," Remus said politely and Lisa couldn't help but smile. "We would like to stay here for a while, if that's okay with you."

The elves all nodded vigorously and about a dozen of them heaped fluffy red pillows in front of the fire, so when the two Gryffindors sat down it felt like they were on a weird misshapen mattress.

"What?" he asked, when he noticed she was staring at him.

"Nothing," she blushed. "It just... it's great how polite you are, even to house elves," she told him, taking a few of the sweets one of them offered.

"House elves deserve to - thank you- deserve to be treated nicely too," he noted, gratefully accepting his cup of milk.

"Of course they do, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, well, they're you know, only house elves. It's their job to serve you."

"It is, but that doesn't mean you should treat them like objects. A few encouraging words could make a big difference in their lives. They have feeling too, you know."

"I've... never thought about it like that."

Having lived her whole life surrounded by the little creatures, she had seen them as more of a decoration than anything else. They always obeyed her command without question and she had never considered the possibility it could be _unpleasant_ for them to do so. She looked around the kitchen guiltily.

"I'm sorry if we woke you up," she said apologetically to the many elves surrounding them.

"Not at all, Miss! We clean the Common Rooms and Class Rooms after everyone sleeps, we do. We are glad to serve," one of them squeaked.

Remus regarded her with a strange smile and brought the cup to his lips.

"So, what kept you up so late?"

Lisa drew her legs up to her chest. She wasn't sure how much she should tell him, feeling that if she admitted it was because he distracted her during practice it might put him in an uncomfortable position and make him feel guilty.

"It's... a bunch of things," she replied elusively. "I'm a bit nervous about the game on Friday."

"Oh. I'm... I'm sure you'll be great," he tried to encourage her.

"Thanks for saying that, but I don't know if I believe it. I've been pretty bad lately. To be honest... I'm afraid James will kick me off the team any day now," she admitted miserably. There was a pause, while Remus struggled for something comforting to say.

"I'm sure he wouldn't do that. He knows it's just temporary... you'll do better when the crowd is bigger."

"Maybe..." she tried to hide her blush in her knees. " If you knew what was distracting me, why did you come?"

He thought over his answer carefully. It had been upon his insistence that he, Sirius and Peter go watch the Gryffindor practices, under the pretext they had nothing else to do anyway and it would show support for James. But the real reason had been that he could freely look at her without seeming suspicious. He didn't expect Sirius being there would have such an effect on her.

"I... didn't think it through, I suppose. I'll make sure we stop."

"I don't want you to feel like you can't come and watch," she said quickly.

"Well, we can't very well leave Sirius on his own with only Peter to reign him in. Who knows what kind of trouble they'd get into," he quipped, making her laugh.

"I think I might prefer him in detention than on the pitch," she remarked, remembering his embarrassing wolf-calls. Then her thought jumped from Sirius, to his brother, to the Slytherins and the war.

"Remus, can I... tell you something?" He nodded slowly. "Sometimes I feel... _guilty_ about having such insignificant problems. Being on the Quidditch team, Snape... it all seems so _small_. What you read in the _Prophet_ isn't even a quarter of the horror that's happening outside. And here I am in this big safe castle and it all seems so distant, almost like it isn't real."

He stared into the fire thoughtfully.

"Your dad writes for the _Prophet_, right?" She nodded. "What aren't they telling us?"

"I don't know the details," she admitted. "I've heard my parents talk about it when they think I'm in bed. Cuffe, the editor, refuses to publish a number of my dad's articles. He doesn't want to spread panic, dad says, and the pieces are too violent apparently, but dad insists wizards have the right to know. They leave a Mark over a house they've been in, for example. Did you know that?"

He nodded grimly. "I believe the war's actually closer than you think. They do it from the shadows, but you heard Dorcas. The Death Eaters are recruiting, right here, in Hogwarts."

"Recruiting, yes. But what are you suggesting we do, _write_ about it? If they did something _openly_, maybe we could defy them, but as it is now, who'd believe us? ... Oh, I'm just horrible, aren't I? Wishing for someone to get hurt, just so I could do something about it... I think I might have a Hero Complex."

Remus chuckled softly into his cup.

"At least you admit it."

She threw a pillow at his head, making him spill the milk all over himself. For a second he looked like he'd scold her, but her giggles preceded it and soon the kitchen echoed with their laughter. When he got a hold of himself, Remus cleaned his pajamas with a wave of his wand.

"You're getting pretty good with silent spells," she noted, feeling a little bit better after a good laugh.

"I try," he shrugged. "And no, I'm not suggesting we start a newspaper. If they're recruiting, then so should we."

"What're you saying? You want to start our own Anti-Death Eaters?"

"And why not? Something tells me that with the Death Eater supporters growing in number, the attacks against muggle-borns will increase within the school. Remember what happened to Mary last year? There _must_ be someone willing to fight them. If we talk to certain people, we could help keep the muggle-borns _safe_. And once we graduate..." he lowered his voice. "We overheard McGonagall talking to Flitwick. Dumbledore has some people going on missions for him. He's fighting Voldemort, even if the rest of the wizarding world isn't aware of it. If the Slytherins are gathering support for _him_, then maybe we should do the same for Dumbledore."

"Are you suggesting we gather Dumbledore an _army_ to fight the Death Eaters?"

"I wouldn't put it quite so dramatically," he laughed. "But yes, I do think we should start some sort of counter movement."

"You're mad," she concluded. "A complete nutter."

"They're gaining influence _and_ confidence. They ambushed you only last week! With more of them joining, how long do you think it'll be before open attacks against muggle-borns _do_ start? We must do something now, before everything gets worse."

She stared at him deep in thought. For a while now she'd been itching to do something to help the war effort, some way to fight back, but now that she was actually entertaining the idea, it all seemed crazy.

"And what would we do, before we graduate and run off to Dumbledore? Just patrol the corridors? Hex anyone that looks suspicious?"

"Is that not _heroic_ enough for you?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"That's not... who would we even... how-"

"We'll figure it out," Remus interjected, a strange fire twinkling in his eyes. "Are you with me?"

He offered her his hand and everything instantly became clear. She placed her palm in his.

"As if you need to ask."


	6. An Unexpected Game of Quodpot

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**An unexpected game of Quodpot**

'_I'm sure you'll be great.'_

Remus' words rang through Lisa's mind, as she was miserably nibbling on a piece of toast at breakfast.

"Why the long face?" greeted Dorcas, sliding next to her on the bench.

"Because we're gonna get creamed."

"Oh, did I oversleep? I thought the match hadn't started yet," Dorcas tried to cheer her up. Lisa only managed to look up at her with glassy eyes.

"You might as well go and take a nap, the outcome is clear anyway."

"Hey now, since when do you give up so easily? You'll just have to compensate for those tossers you call teammates and score more points."

"They're not the problem," Lisa sighed. "I am. I've been _terrible_ at practice lately."

"You? I thought that was the one thing you were supposed to be good at," the black haired Slytherin quipped, earning herself a glare from her friend.

"You ready, Fawley?" Adrian Fleet called behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No," Lisa replied sourly, but got up.

"You'll do fine," Dorcas insisted, as the Gryffindors were walking away.

When the two chasers got to the locker room, they were surprised to find the Marauders there, talking to James.

"Hey Lisa, do you have a minute?" Remus called out as soon as he saw them.

"The match's about to start, Moony! Don't tell me you hung around just to put the moves on Fawley!" James protested. "And here I thought you came to wish your best mate good luck!"

Remus ignored him, as Lisa nodded and they went outside to talk.

"What's up?" she asked tiredly.

"I made something for you," he said, reaching in the fold of his robes and pulling out a small glass bottle, filled with a light-turquoise substance.

"What is it?" she asked, taking the warm potion in her hand.

"Uh... Draught of Peace," he admitted stiffly. Lisa's jaw hit the ground. The Draught of Peace was a notoriously difficult potion, requiring a lot of precision and care on the part of the potion maker. Just the fact that he's tried something like that...

"You made this... for me?"

"It will help you relax a little. Just don't take too much; the side effects can be nasty."

Lisa's heart swelled with warm feelings and she felt a lump forming in her throat. Before she could stop herself, she launched forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. It felt so _good_ to be this close to him again, but when they heard the door to the locker rooms swing open, they broke apart quickly.

"What's the hold up, you two? Madam Hooch wants us on the field _now_!" an irritated James beckoned.

"Right. Thank you _so_ much!" Lisa breathed and went in after her captain.

Remus just stood there dazed and stared at the closed door. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, but she had just hugged him, _hugged him_, and his heart was beating against his ribcage like a battering ram.

"What was that about, mate?" Sirius inquired as he and Peter exited the locker rooms and the boys all headed to the stands.

"Lisa told me she was worried about the game. I made her a potion for the nerves," Remus replied, still half-stunned.

* * *

><p>"And they're off!" bellowed the voice of the commentator Emma Vance, a fourth year Hufflepuff. "We have two new captains this year, both James Potter and Lucinda Talkalot..."<p>

Lisa tried to drown out her voice and only concentrate on the game. She was aware like always that Remus was watching, but she couldn't distinguish him from first glance, and averted her eyes from the stands. He was right, having a crowd helped. But so did a Draught of Peace in your belly. She smiled to herself, but quickly came to her senses, as one of the Slytherin Chasers had the Quaffle.

'_I can do it this time!_' she thought and flew straight for him.

"Fawley tries to intercept... they're headed for a collision!"

At the last moment, the Chaser's hand twitched slightly on his broom to the left. Lisa immediately adjusted her own direction and swiped the Quaffle right from his hands, narrowly missing crashing into him. She flew toward the Slytherin rings, but the other two Chasers tried to block her way. She dropped the Quaffle straight down, where James whizzed passed and caught it, scoring Gryffindor's first point. The crowd cheered loudly.

"10 points for Gryffindor!" Emma Vance shouted into the microphone.

Lisa was ecstatic! She hadn't pulled off something this good in weeks! She thought about Remus, but the usual twist in her stomach was gone. She silently thanked him.

"And Fleet has the Quaffle, heading to the Slytherin rings again!"

A Bludger flew by Lisa's head, narrowly missing her and struck Adrian Fleet in the shoulder, making him drop the ball. Slytherin chaser Dominic Gott caught it from beneath and tried to pass it to Luke Garber, but James flew between them and stole it. The crowd cheered again, as he passed to Lisa, who saw Adrian was practically next to the rings and passed to him, and he scored the second goal.

Halfway during the third play Madam Hooch blew her whistle for a penalty shot. Sirius' brother Regulus was the Slytherin Seeker and had almost knocked little Felicity off her broom. James scored the third point.

In the next seventeen minutes, Lisa and James scored 2 points each.

"80:00 for Gryffindor! Their team is really on fire today! Or maybe the new Captain Talkalot simply sucks as a Keeper..."

The game intensified. The Slytherin beaters were sending Bludgers in every direction; the Quaffle was passed less and less. At the thirty-minute mark, Gryffindor was leading with 100 points. If Felicity caught the bloody snitch anytime soon, they'd win!

Gott was flying determinately towards the Gryffindor rings. James tried to intercept, but had to make a sharp turn to avoid a Bludger. Adrian tried as well, but Luke Garber kept flying in his path. '_It's up to me then' _Lisa thought. '_I won't let him have a shot at O'Flaherty'_. She flew straight at him, trying for another Quaffle snatch. Just as they were about to pass each other, Gott gave her a creepy grin and threw the Quaffle at her. She caught it in surprise, and whipped her head back to stare at him, barely noticing the ball in her hands was unusually heavy.

The explosion was so sudden, she couldn't even scream.

* * *

><p>Lisa woke up on something soft, with a slightly annoying ringing in her ears. '<em>Hospital Wing'<em>, she guessed. Someone was holding her hand, and she wanted to find out who it was, but her eyelids felt like they were made out of lead. She mustered all of her will, and as her eyes fluttered open, she saw her best friend sitting in a chair next to her bed.

"How do you feel?" Dorcas asked softly, caressing her hand.

"Like something exploded in my face," the Gryffindor replied weakly. "What the hell happened?"

"No one is sure yet. It looks like someone bewitched the Quaffle to explode, like in that weird American game."

"What are you on about? What American game?"

"Never heard of Quodpot?" Dorcas asked, a smile playing on her lips. "That's the poor man's version of Quidditch they play over there. It's like a game of hot potato, where the ball they play with explodes if you take too long to score."

Lisa chuckled despite herself. Leave it to Dorcas to try and make you laugh after you've just been injured.

"At least tell me we won?"

The cheer vanished from the Slytherin's eyes and she shook her head slowly.

"The match got postponed."

"Postponed!? Why?"

"James... kinda lost it. He swore up and down that Dominic Gott passed the tempered Quaffle to you on purpose and was _grinning_ when you caught it. The second you fell, he whipped out his wand and turned the whole lot of them into cockroaches. He was furious; he kept yelling that they targeted you because they knew..."

"Knew what?" Lisa asked weakly. She didn't even have the mental capacity to get curious at this point. All she wanted was a nap...

"I was hoping _you_ could tell me that. McGonagall dragged him off to help her find the Slytherin team and get them back to normal and he has detentions for the next two weeks."

"_Him_? What about Gott!? He really did throw the Quaffle at me, the slimy git!" Lisa's head throbbed painfully from the anger.

"No one saw what was happening clearly. They're 'looking into it', but with that Quaffle destroyed, they won't get anywhere."

"So they're getting away with it!? They could have _killed_ me!"

"That was probably the intention. The balls don't explode with that much strength in Quodpot and in they have-"

"_Enough_ with the silly American sports!"

"Fine. But I'm not joking when I tell you this: Gott's one of _them_. I think James may be right, they _targeted_ you."

"But _why_?" Lisa's head was spinning from the overexertion. "What could they possibly know that would make me a target? And how come _James Potter_ knows about it too?"

She placed a hand over her forehead and realized her Chaser gloves were off and her fingers were wrapped in white bandages.

"How long was I out?"

"Just an hour or two. Some of your dorm-mates came by too, but Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let so many people around your bed."

"So how come you're allowed?"

"You snooze, you lose," Dorcas shrugged with a smirk. "I got here first. Some are waiting outside for news, though."

Lisa chuckled again and squeezed her friend's fingers gently.

"The team?"

"Outside too. I heard that brainless tosser Cornhill say you might die," she scoffed. "As if something like that could kill _you_. You were in a pretty bad shape when they brought you in though, so the idiots are worried."

"Aren't _you_ worried?"

"Nah," Dorcas waved a hand dismissively. "I know you're tougher than that. I just wanted to be here when you woke up, so you'll clear the mystery of what they know about you, but as usual you're no help at all. It's like potions class all over again."

"Hey! I'm good at potion making!" Lisa protested, trying to sit up, but a sharp pain in her head made her lie back with a groan.

"Only when Lupin isn't around," the Slytherin said cheekily. "I'll let you get some rest. Looks like you'll need all the beauty sleep you can get."

Lisa was too tired to ask what the hell _that_ meant and just nodded, watching her friend draw the curtains around her bed and leave.

* * *

><p>Remus paced in front of the Hospital Wing nervously.<p>

His heart had almost stopped when he saw her as the teachers were carrying her off. Her face was black and blue all over, with visibly deep cuts and blood everywhere. Her skin had been horribly burned in places and her hands were leaving a trail of red on the ground, dripping down her gloves and sleeves. Luckily, James had managed a cushioning charm before turning on the Slytherin team, so the fall itself hadn't left much of an impact. He wanted to howl and scratch and bite and break things, while simultaneously wanting to break down and cry. The storm of feelings inside him wasn't helped by the almost _crushing_ sense of guilt, the knowledge that she was in this state because of _him_. Because they knew.

The door opened slowly and Dorcas Meadowes exited the ward. Everyone's heads turned to her.

"She'll live," Dorcas sighed tiredly. "Her skin is whole now at least, and her hands are almost back to normal. She didn't seem in any pain."

Lily let out a sigh of relief and Felicity Rickett hit Eddie Cornhill in the shoulder.

"I _told you_ she wouldn't die," the blond Seeker whispered, but she couldn't hide the giddiness in her voice.

"She wants to see you," Dorcas added toward Remus.

"M-Me? What about?" he stuttered, as everyone gawked at them.

Dorcas just shrugged and sidestepped from the door, trying to hide her grin. Remus nodded a bit confused, but glad he had an excuse to see her and walked in.

He slowly approached her bed, preparing himself mentally for what she might look like. The memory of her battered and bleeding body flashed before his eyes and his stomach contracted painfully. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Remus slowly drew the curtains open and was surprised to see how almost normal she looked. The places where her skin had been burned off were just rosy spots now; the bruises had been reduced to pale yellow smudges, the cuts healed and her fingers bandaged. He guessed the leather gloves must've lessened the impact somewhat and couldn't help but marvel at Madam Pomfrey's excellent magic abilities.

"Remus," Lisa muttered confused, as he sat down next to her bed. "You're here." She smiled dizzily.

"Well, yeah," he replied simply. Did she think he'd ignore her call?

"I... I'm sorry," he said.

"About what?"

"They attacked you because of me. Because they had an opportunity and they knew what we were up to."

"Wait a second." Her eyes cleared from the fog somewhat. "Are you saying you know what this whole thing is about?"

He nodded grimly.

"James was disgusted at the cowardly way they went about it. _He_ would face whomever in a head-to-head fight, and anything less sort of insults him. And when that Quaffle exploded..." Remus shook his head, unable to go on. He sighed deeply, then buried his head in his hands. "It straight up blew you off your broom. There was blood everywhere, whole _pieces_ of your skin missing... some whispered that you could _die_, and-" he had to stop, because he was starting to choke up.

She lifted her hand, ignoring the painful screams of her muscles and pulled on one of his, still buried in his hair.

"It was just a stupid rumor," she said soothingly, wrapping her bandaged fingers gently around his. "Just Eddie Cornhill, being an idiot. It'll take a lot more than an exploding _ball_ to take me out." He sighed heavily and took her hand between both of his, bringing them to rest against his forehead.

"It doesn't mean I wasn't scared," he whispered.

He cursed himself for slipping again; he really should have more self-control than this.

"I should get going... letting you rest and all that-"

"Stay," she pleaded quietly. He turned to look at her, and the second he did, he knew it was too late to get away.

"Okay."

Lisa smiled to herself and closed her eyes, finally letting herself surrender to sleep.

* * *

><p>Madam Pomfrey insisted on holding her a couple of days, but on Monday evening she finally consented and Lisa was free to go. As she walked to the seventh floor, the blond Gryffindor contemplated her last conversation with Remus, realizing she still had no idea what it was that everyone seemed to know about her.<p>

"Come on," James growled as soon as she climbed through the portrait hole to Gryffindor Tower, grabbed her firmly by the wrist and dragged her out again.

"What the-" Lisa shot a confused look at Remus, who came behind them, but he, Sirius and Peter just followed them wordlessly with grim expressions on their faces.

"You're not gonna... sacrifice me in a dark ritual or something, are you?" she asked jokingly as they flew down the stairs.

No one answered her, but soon she didn't have the breath to ask anymore questions, as the brisk pace they were walking in was too much for her so soon after the explosion. She noticed they were headed to the Great Hall and made a turn for the Hufflepuff Basement. Realization graced her eyes, just as James stopped abruptly before a paining depicting a bowl of fruit. He reached forward, tickled the green pear and pulled her into the kitchen, followed by the rest of the Marauders.

"You!" he pointed to the first house elf he saw, letting go of Lisa. "I order you to tell me if any of you have spoken to any Hogwarts students that are not in this kitchen during the last four days!"

The elves took in the five Gryffindors, and after a moment of silence, one of them stepped forward.

"I spoke to Sir Hugh Wetherbee from Ravenclaw House, sir," it squeaked.

James was starting to shake with anger.

"Did you tell him about Thursday night, when this Miss and I were here?" Remus interjected, before his friend started yelling.

"Yes, sir!" The house elf was trembling like a leaf under James' angry glare. "Sir Hugh asked if the students had been talking about the Dark Lord, sir. And Dinky had to tell him sir, he had to!"

"So you rat us out," Sirius growled.

"Sirius, they can't help it," Remus said quietly.

James turned on his heel and exited, as the Marauders and Lisa exchanged glances and followed him. He walked straight into the first empty classroom he saw and Sirius immediately placed muffling charms on the door.

"So," Lisa started. "The house elves told the Junior Death Eaters what Remus and I talked about in the kitchen. That's why they threw me that Quaffle, they stroke preemptively before we could do it." Everything was so clear now.

"Those _cowards_!" James snarled. "To do it in front of everyone like that too, without ever staining their hands!"

"Then we're definitely doing it," Sirius said darkly. "Right?"

Lisa and Remus exchanged glances. They had only ever had one conversation about it, and nothing discussed in detail.

"We are," James said, looking at them determinately. "We have to."


	7. The Fake Birthday Party

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**The Fake Birthday Party**

There was another attack on Thursday.

Emily Mitchum, a fifth year muggle-born from Hufflepuff ingested poison at dinner. She didn't die, thanks to the swift intervention of Lily, who happened to be walking by the table and quickly pulled out a bezoar from her potion supplies. The teachers tried to make everyone believe it was an allergic reaction, but Lily was adamant that allergic reactions don't make your mouth foam.

Next Monday, Mary McDonald was found weeping in an empty hallway, without having any memory of how she got there or what happened to her.

On Friday, Marcus Boore from Ravenclaw was discovered bleeding in the boy's bathroom on the third floor.

By Saturday, most students of muggle families were extremely on edge, looking around their shoulder and expecting someone to attack them every second. James was getting more and more restless with each passing day and kept finding excuse after excuse to follow Lily wherever she went. Publicly she was very annoyed by it, but she confided in Lisa that him being there made her just a little less nervous.

"We need to do something," Frank Longbottom whispered through gritted teeth on Wednesday night, having joined the sixth year girls in their corner of the Common Room. "This whole thing is getting out of hand."

"What're you worried about, Longbottom? You're a pureblood, aren't you?" Marlene McKinnon quipped, trying to lighten the dark mood.

"That doesn't mean I like standing idly by, while people are bleeding out on bathroom floors!" Frank exploded.

"She was just joking, Frank," Alice tried to calm him.

"This isn't a joking matter," James snarled, coming from the portrait hole with the Marauders. "There's been another one. _A first year_."

Alice gasped. The very _idea_ that they'd go after an eleven year old...

"What happened?" Lily asked.

"His wand backfired. Or so they say," James said with disgust.

"I don't get it! Why don't the blasted teachers _do_ something about this!?" Sirius slammed his fist on the table.

"They don't want to spread panic," Remus said wisely.

"Well, too late for that, isn't it?" Peter chimed in.

"Maybe, but something needs to be done!" Frank insisted.

"We... might have an idea," James drawled, looking at everyone carefully in turn. "We've been thinking it over for the last week or so. I can't tell you any details here. I'll let you know when we're ready. Until then, keep your eyes pealed."

* * *

><p>On Friday at breakfast, Lisa received a strange owl. The bird dropped a letter for her on top of her muffins like any other and knocked over the orange jam.<p>

"Pass it over, will you?" Lisa asked Lily absentmindedly, wiping her fingers from the sticky stuff. Lily reached for the envelope, but it ran away from her. The two girls exchanged glances.

"_Accio!_" Lily said, pointing her wand at the letter, but it just moved father away. Lisa got up and slowly approached it, springing on it suddenly to catch it off guard. The envelope however, made no further attempts to escape and she saw on the back of it written in red letters _'READ WHEN YOU ARE ALONE'_. She tried to open it despite the warning, but she could neither tear it nor reveal its contents in any way.

"Who's it from?" Lily asked curiously.

"I think I have a pretty good idea," the other Gryffindor smirked.

Two hours later, Lisa locked herself in the girl's bathroom and tried the letter again. To her surprise, this time the envelope opened effortlessly and she pulled out the piece of parchment from inside.

_You know as well as the rest of us the recent attacks on muggle-borns aren't accidents._

_It won't be long before the Death Eaters start attacking blood traitors and people that go against them. No one is safe. _

_If you're tired of pretending the war's still only fought on the other side of the wall, meet us in the Three Broomsticks at 2 pm on December 4. _

_Tell no one._

As soon as she was done reading it, the letter went up in flames and she dropped it to the bathroom floor.

* * *

><p>"So... you get anything interesting in the mail lately?" Lisa asked nonchalantly, as she and Dorcas were shivering on their way to Hogsmeade.<p>

"You too, huh?" the Slytherin smirked. "It looks like we'll be in the Three Broomsticks all day then?"

"Looks like. We have a bit of time to kill, though."

"How about we visit the hair salon, so you'll be pretty for your _boyfriend,_" Dorcas wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Let's just go to Tomes and Scrolls," she offered.

"Oooh, looking for books, are we? Good thinking, a brainy guy like him is sure to be impressed."

"Sod off!" Lisa laughed, shoving her friend playfully.

"Seriously though. How are things going between you two?" Dorcas persisted.

"This really isn't the time to think about things like that."

"Why not? You're gonna wait until after Voldemort is defeated before you make a move?"

"Cass... five muggle-borns were attacked in the last four weeks. One of them was a tiny _first year_! How do you expect me to even _think_ about romance in a time like this?"

"Because it gets _so much_ better after graduation? Look Lisa, I'm not saying you should forget about the muggle-borns, but until the war is over, there will never be a 'right' time to be happy. I think you should take what you can get, while you still have the chance."

"You talk as if I've been diagnosed with cancer."

"You know he has feelings for you. So what's holding you back?"

Lisa didn't answer. What _was_ holding her back? She _did_ think there was something between them, but... a small voice in the back of her head told her she was just full of it. The only time he showed something genuine towards her without immediately switching to cold indifference was when that Quaffle almost killed her. And that he would arguably do for his friends too. Despite Dorcas' constant insistence that he felt something for her, she was always left confused or hesitant at best after every time they shared a moment together. Deep inside she knew she was just too afraid to let hope creep in and open herself up to rejection.

"Why don't you invite him to the Slug Club Christmas Party?" Dorcas offered gently. "It's in two weeks, right?"

Lisa's face immediately went deep red.

"He'll turn me down."

"You don't know that!"

"He always does."

"You've asked him to spend time with you what, twice? You don't know that he'll-"

"But I do!" Lisa snapped. "Because he doesn't even give me an excuse! It's not 'Sorry, I'm busy', or 'I already have plans with so-and-so'. It's always 'I don't think it's a good idea'. He doesn't avoid me anymore, but he tries not to be alone with me more than he has to," she finished miserably.

"Listen to me. I've had just about enough of your self-pitying! Get a grip! We've had this exact same conversation like five times already! I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave!"

"Bravery has nothing to do with the fact that he keeps turning me down!"

"So convince him not to."

"How am I supposed to do that?!"

"Be confident. Be alluring," the Slytherin said seductively. Lisa's red face almost blended with her Gryffindor scarf.

"I'm not you, Cass" she said quietly. "I don't know how to be... alluring."

"I could teach you."

"Forget it!" Lisa scooped some snow from the ground and threw a snowball at her friend, which Dorcas avoided with ease.

"Come on! Just a few hours of my tutoring and you'll make him melt just with a look!" the Slytherin insisted, circling her.

"No way!"

They continued to argue the point all the way to the bookstore. Inside they ran into a couple of familiar faces, and that stopped the dispute.

"Hey Lisa. Dorcas." Marlene McKinnon greeted from behind a shelf, followed by Lily.

"Hi Marlene. Aren't Alice and Mary with you?" Lisa asked surprised. She was sure all four of them would be invited to the meeting.

"Alice said she was busy and Mary... she's too afraid," Lily explained sadly. "I'm guessing I'll see both of you in the Three Broomsticks later?" The girls nodded.

"_Both_ of you?" Marlene emphasized skeptically. Lisa felt the immediate flicker of anger, but Dorcas only lifted an eyebrow.

"Why, because everyone in Slytherin is a follower of Voldemort?" she asked coldly. "I've done more work against him than _you_ McKinnon, talking some of them out of joining his ranks. But that doesn't matter to you, does it? Because if the sorting hat put me in a certain house, that means I want to murder every muggle-born I see."

"If you're not like that, then why are you in with the snakes?" Marlene hissed. Lily shot her a reprimanding look.

"Not everyone is Slytherin is evil, Mar!"

"Tell that to Mary!" Marlene snapped. "You think a Hufflepuff did that to her!?"

"Maybe," Lisa said darkly. "The one who sold _me_ out was a Ravenclaw." Marlene looked at her, stunned.

"No, you were injured by that Slytherin chaser..."

"Wake up, McKinnon," Dorcas rolled her eyes. "A Ravenclaw Junior Death Eater heard Lisa wasn't a sympathizer and their little gang struck at the earliest convenience! Power-hungry blood-purists aren't restricted to a single house!"

Marlene looked at the other girls, as if they had just slapped her. After a second of wide-eyed staring, she turned on her heel and ran out.

"I should probably go after her," Lily said, heading to the door. "I'm so sorry, Dorcas. It hasn't been easy for her lately... I'll talk to her."

And with a last apologetic look towards the two girls, she went out into the snow.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Lisa and Dorcas entered the Three Broomsticks and immediately spotted the Marauders sitting on a couple of joined tables in a corner of the inn, surrounded by at least twenty or thirty other students. As the girls made their way over to join them, they saw Lily and Marlene were already there. Lily gave them a faint smile, but her friend only nodded in shame. Lisa noticed a self-important smirk form on Dorcas' lips, but chose to ignore it.<p>

"About time! The birthday girl is here!" Sirius yelled over the crowd, pulling an empty chair next to him and gesturing to Lisa to sit. She exchanged confused looks with her friend, but obeyed.

"It's not my birthday," she hissed to Sirius when she was close enough.

"It is now," he whispered back and waved to Rose, the bartender. Her high heels tapped rhythmically on the wooden floor, as she came over with a huge birthday cake.

Lisa stared at it like a deer in headlights, as Sirius and James started singing 'Happy Birthday', gesturing for the others to join in. After the farce was over and everyone had a piece of cake in front of them, Frank leaned over to James and said in a low voice:

"You don't think this is a bit conspicuous?"

"Not at all," James replied calmly. "The bigger spectacle we make of ourselves, the lower the chance of someone suspecting us."

"After all, what self-respecting Death Eater would try to spy on an innocent _birthday party_," Sirius added with a smirk.

"You guys are geniuses!" called Benjy Fenwick, a fifth year Ravenclaw. "And I don't know what detection spells you used on those letters, but they were bloody _brilliant._"

"Glad you think so," James flashed him with a grin. "Now, if everyone has enough cake and Butterbeer within reach, I suggest we begin." There were nods all around the table.

"Right then." He reached into his bag and distributed a rolled up piece of parchment to everyone.

"This here is your schedule. The teams will be in a minimum of two people, but since we can't keep track of everyone, you'll have to fill it in yourselves. We'll patrol every part of the school, ready to act if anything looks amiss. Duck into every bathroom you come across; open every broom cupboard that doesn't seem... otherwise occupied. The Marauders will keep track of the secret passages in and out of Hogwarts."

"What are you on about, Potter? These scrolls are _blank,_" asked Dirk Cresswell, another fifth year from Hufflepuff.

James' grin widened and he took Dirk's parchment in his hand.

"_I solemnly swear that I am up to the fight_" he said, tapping it with his wand. Immediately lines started forming on the page, until a pretty sizable timetable appeared on it, plain as day. He tapped his wand again on the square under 'Third Floor Corridor' and it turned green.

"There you go, Cresswell. You now have patrol duties on Wednesday afternoon."

"How will we know if the time slot we want is free?" asked Emma Vance.

"Once you fill out your own, it will show on all of them," Remus explained. "When you don't need to look at it, just say '_My fight is over_' and it'll turn back into a blank piece of parchment. That way even if a Death Eater goes through your stuff, they'll never know what it is. Be careful not to turn it in as homework, though."

"But if you do, come to us and we'll make you a new one," Sirius winked.

"W-What if... they learn?" a shaky boy that Lisa couldn't name asked, trying to mask the fear in his voice.

"They will, sooner or later," James said. "But so what? What's important is that they don't get their hands on the schedule. No one is allowed to patrol the same haunts more than once a month. We have to switch it up, make it appear random."

"You can back out at any time, if you feel it's getting too dangerous," Remus interjected. "Because it _is_ dangerous. Resisting the Death Eater movement will make you a target, assuming you weren't one already."

"But if you try to snitch," Sirius growled threateningly, "Not even the whole Slytherin pack can protect you."

"So what do we call ourselves?" Lila Fenton, a seventh year Ravenclaw asked excitedly.

"We are... THE CHAMPIONS!" James announced proudly.

Lisa gave Remus a sour look. "I thought we decided there wouldn't be cheesy nicknames involved."

He shrugged, but she could tell he was trying to hide a smile. "Do _you_ want to try to reason with them?"

"We are NOT calling ourselves '_The Champions'_! It sounds ridiculous!" she objected.

"Come _on_, Fawley! We've got to have a cool name!" Sirius whined, placing his hand around her shoulders.

"Absolutely not!" she grumbled, removing it.

"We can't refer to this group as the Anti-Death Eaters forever," Peter said. "And we do need _something_."

"Fine! Just don't make it as embarrassing!" Lisa surrendered begrudgingly.

"We're fighting the Death Eaters, right? So how about something opposite. Like... the Life... givers?" Alice said uncertainly. The whole table laughed and suggestions rained from every direction.

"The Peace Keepers!" Felicity Rickett squealed.

"The Blood Traitors!" smirked Sirius.

"The White Knights!" Peter suggested.

Lisa facepalmed.

"None of you have any concept of subtlety!" she groaned.

"The Defenders" Dorcas called beside her. Every head turned towards her. "We're doing what they teach us in class. Defending people against the Dark Arts. It's not exactly subtle, but... I think it's fitting."

"We don't _want_ to be subtle!" James grinned. "They should know we're here and we're going to stand against them! To the Defenders!" he raised his Butterbeer.

"To the Defenders!" everyone echoed.


	8. Alchemy, Ancient Art and Science

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

**Alchemy, Ancient Art and Science**

"So, how many did you manage to convert?" Lisa asked, barely keeping her eyes open.

"About five, including myself," Dorcas replied, her mood sinking measurably.

The two girls were walking down the length of the second floor, taking the time to duck into every girl's bathroom and secret passageway they came across. It was their very first patrol for the Defenders, but unfortunately it was on a Tuesday. Days witch included a Transfiguration class, tended to drain Lisa more than chasing after a niffler for a few hours.

"It's harder for us," the Slytherin continued. "Voldemort's been recruiting in Slytherin since he himself was a student here. A lot are too afraid to do something against him, with Snape's little gang glaring at them in the Common Room every day."

"Don't they glare at you?"

"They do," Dorcas waved dismissively. "But who cares? I can take the whole lot of them by myself, and they know it."

Lisa snickered, and wondered at her friend's endless confidence. Dorcas came to an abrupt stop and extended a hand in front of her friend. They listened carefully and heard a faint whimpering behind the tapestry further down the hall. The girls exchanged glances and pulled out their wands.

"Of course we'd run into trouble on our first time. Otherwise, the Universe might give us the impression it doesn't hate us," Dorcas whispered, and Lisa tried to suppress a laugh.

They crept towards the tapestry and on Dorcas' nod, Lisa whipped it to the side. But instead of coming face to face with Death Eaters torturing a muggle-born, the two girls found Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom, wrapped around each other like snakes.

"_Alice?_" the Gryffindor's jaw dropped and she stared at the snogging couple. "Is _that_ what you were busy doing last Saturday?"

"Nice catch, Longbottom," Dorcas smirked. "Looks like _some_ bloodlines will stay pure," she added towards her friend.

"As long as we're not any closer with the Blacks, I'll live it down," Lisa said. "So _that's_ why you've been hanging around us so much in the Common Room lately. And here I thought you were looking out for your cousin."

"I look at you more than enough at home," Frank quipped. Alice blushed like crazy.

"Come on. Let's let the love birds get back to... their previous activities," Dorcas said, letting the tapestry fall back into place.

Suddenly, they heard someone yelp, then fall silent further down the corridor. Frank and Alice came out from behind the tapestry, their wands drawn. The four of them exchanged glances and quickly moved in the direction of the sound, slowing down, as they reached the corner. Frank made the girls a sign to stop and slowly crept forward. As he tried to peek around, a stream of red light hit him right in the face and he collapsed in a heap to the ground. Alice tried to shriek, but Dorcas put a hand on her mouth. Lisa quickly pulled both of them into a nearby broom cupboard.

"Next time, put a few silencing charms," the unmistakably slimy voice of Severus Snape drawled.

"It's just one Gryffindor," Mulciber whined. "Saves us the trouble of having to hunt for one of them later."

"Yes, but you _stunned_ him. That makes him kind hard to interrogate, don't you think?"

"_What are we waiting for?"_ Alice whispered eagerly.

"_To see how many there are," _Dorcas replied quietly and pressed her ear to the door.

"So wake him up," she heard Avery snicker.

"We're not done with _that_ one," the voice of Wilkes threw in.

"Not that there's any point," Avery added. "You heard that mudblood. The Gryffindors have a guardian at the entrance."

"But he might know something about what we're looking for," Snape noted dully. "So some interrogation would be appropriate, now that we have him."

"That's Longbottom," Avery suddenly recognized him. "He's a pureblood. What should we do to him?"

"I have an idea. I've been... developing some spells of my own invention... We could multitask, Severus. You take that heap on the floor, and I'll _play_ with Longbottom," Mulciber drawled menacingly.

Alice's eyes were as round as plates. _'On three'_ Lisa mouthed.

"Sure, whatever. Just don't forget the silencing charm-" Snape started, but the girls spilled from the cupboard and blasted spells in every direction.

The usually nice and sweet Alice took down more than half the Slytherins before the other two could even think of appropriate hexes. When they were all down, she rushed next to Frank and revived him. '_Wow_', Dorcas mouthed and eyed Alice impressively. Lisa went to check on the other victim. It was Seth Tenley, a seventh year Hufflepuff.

"You ok there?" she asked, helping him sit up and dispelling the magical ropes holding him.

"I... yes, I think so..." he replied shakily and stood up, leaning on the wall with one hand.

"What did they want from you?"

"They... I have no idea. They jumped me as I was doing my prefect rounds and tied me up. Then that one," he pointed to Snape, who Dorcas was roping together with the other Death Eaters, bounding them to an ugly-looking statue of some old wizard. "He looked straight into my head and... he..." Seth gulped; sweat appearing on his brow.

"It's alright," Lisa rubbed his back soothingly. "They performed Legilimency on you. Any idea what they were hoping to find in your head?" He shook it negatively. "Alright then. Want me to walk you to your Common Room?"

He looked at her, taken aback by her proposal.

"Shouldn't _I_ be walking _you_?" he asked, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.

"Last time I checked, _you_ were the one shaking," she noted dryly. He gave out a weak laugh and nodded. "You guys ok to clean up here?"

Alice nodded, helping a groaning Frank up to his feet. Dorcas gave her a mischievous wink and Lisa rolled her eyes.

"So what're you doing on the second floor so late? Isn't the prefect of your house a redhead?" Seth asked, making small talk as they went along.

"I'm not a prefect," Lisa said, starting to feel tired again. The adrenalin that the short brawl pumped into her system was giving way to her previous exhaustion.

"Why did you help me then?"

He must've been unconscious for the most part of the 'rescue'. She wasn't sure she should tell him about the Defenders yet, so she just made it up as she went along.

"It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"But there were five of them! And you were only three!"

"It wouldn't have mattered if there were twenty of them!" she stated boldly, but she knew if there were that many, they'd probably reconsider. He stared at her, impressed.

"You Gryffindors really are reckless."

"You should see us on a Hogsmeade weekend. We have this dare, if you can finish a drink in the Hog's Head, there's a forty-galleon prize. It takes guts to even try, but no one's won yet."

He looked at her in bewilderment for a moment, wondering if she's serious. Then he suddenly broke into a loud laughter, which bounced off the walls of the Entrance Hall. She shushed him and he tried to cover his mouth with his hands.

Lisa wasn't sure where exactly his Common Room was, so she walked him to the Hufflepuff Basement and wished him good night, barely making it up to the seventh floor and practically collapsing in her bed. She was so tired, she didn't even bother taking off her clothes.

* * *

><p>Lisa looked around the Library after class on Wednesday, searching for the Marauders. She found James, Peter and Sirius scribbling on their parchments in the corner, occasionally stopping to stifle a laugh, but Remus was nowhere in sight.<p>

"The Death Eaters are looking for something," Lisa said grimly, sitting down on their table.

"We know," said Sirius in a hushed voice. "Frank told us. And they're trying to get into all of the Common Rooms. If they don't know how already."

"Do you think they'll... you know, try something?" she asked concerned.

"They might," James said. "But until they do, we won't know what."

"So... we just wait?"

"If you have a better plan, I'd love to hear it," he said tiredly, getting up and swinging his school bag over his shoulder. "Come on Sirius, we'll be late for detention."

His friend shrugged indifferently, winked at Lisa and followed him out. She glanced at the remaining Marauder and gave him a smile.

"Moony's looking for a book in the Transfiguration Section," Peter said quickly.

"Um... ok?" she said confused. "I wasn't asking for him."

"Oh..." He returned to his parchment.

"What're you working on?" Lisa asked curiously, trying to peek over his arm. He looked up at stared at her in surprise. "What?"

"Well... it's just that... you don't really talk to me," he admitted timidly.

"Huh?! Yes, I do!"

"Not really... not when I'm alone anyway. That's ok, I know I'm not very interesting..."

"Rubbish!" she pulled out her own homework and quill, but the bit of truth in his words stung a little. "You wanna do our Charms essay together?"

A smile stretched over the short boy's face and he nodded. After a bit of small talk, he admitted to her he tried asking Sharon Beldin to go with him to the Slug Club Christmas party (she was a member), but she laughed in his face. Lisa felt an overwhelming wave of sympathy for Peter, while simultaneously wanting to hex Sharon for not letting him down more gently.

"Forget her, Pete. You can go to the party with me," she offered, practically feeling Dorcas roll her eyes and sigh.

"R-Really?!" Peter's face lit up. Then his eyes slid over to the empty chair next to him and the bag placed on it. "Actually... I can't make it to the party. I, um... I wanna get a head start on all my holiday homework..."

"Okay..." Lisa said slowly. If that was true, Peter was a lot more studious than she'd thought. At that moment, Remus walked around the corner, carrying a few books.

"Oh, hey Lisa," he said.

"_**Alchemy, Ancient Art and Science**_! I love that book, it's so detailed!" Lisa exclaimed, recognizing one of the titles Remus was holding.

"It's fascinating, isn't it?" he said excitedly, sitting down. "How different cultures think of magic differently? The Egyptians have their own Centre for Alchemical studies, did you know?"

"Of course I did! Did you see their whacky recipes? Only they would think of using Flesh-Eating Beetle powder!" she answered with equal enthusiasm.

"Maybe, but it's brilliant! Just think of-"

"I think I'll head up to the common room," Peter stood up, seeing he was out of his depth here. "See ya later."

"Oh no," Lisa said guiltily after he was gone. "Did we scare him away?"

"We might have," Remus admitted sheepishly. "I just got a bit carried away. My friends don't care much for Alchemy..."

"It doesn't have much purpose if you're rich and don't want to live forever, I suppose. But it's just so damn _interesting_."

They both tried to suppress laughter, seeing Madam Pince, the Librarian, giving them the evil eye.

"I really wished there were enough people for an Alchemy class," he whispered, moving his chair closer.

"Me too! I would've been the first to sign up! Transmuting metals, breaking them down to their basic components... how can you resist knowing what things are made of?" she continued excitedly in a hushed voice.

"And looking for a universal solvent? Can you imagine the broad application in magic?"

"What about creation of Panacea? Or are you not interested in curing all disease? That is the most important goal of alchemy, I think."

"Agreed. Though I'm having my doubts about the recipe from 1557."

"You mean the one with the Vinegar, Salt and Urine?"

He shushed her for being too loud and the two had to muffle their laughter again. She glanced at him and the fireworks flared up in her stomach as she noticed their knees were brushing under the table, and he was looking at her with a playful flame in his eyes.

"Too bad no one cares about those things nowadays," Lisa looked away in embarrassment.

"They're just preoccupied with the war," he whispered

"I'm not sure that's true," she murmured back. "None of my friends care for it either. You're the only person so far I can talk intelligently about this with. Even if there was a class, no one I know would go."

"Then it would've been another class we could partnered up in," he said quietly, making her blush.

"Hey, um speaking of that... are you free next Monday?"

He eyed her suspiciously.

"... Why?"

"Slughorn's having this party and... and we can bring a date."

He was quiet for a while.

"Can't Sirius make it?"

"Are you crazy?" she asked, stunned. Why _on_ _Earth_ would she ask Sirius to go? The last thing she needed there were his sleazy jokes. "You want me to die of embarrassment?"

Remus looked forward at his pile of books.

"Lisa-"

"Just as friends," she shot impulsively, sensing a 'no' coming. He turned to look at her.

"I'm not sure-"

"Come on, please? You wouldn't let me go alone, would you?"

No, he knew he wouldn't. Some of the Death Eaters might try to retaliate. He sighed and nodded slowly. Despite herself, Lisa felt a huge smile spill across her face. She gave him a quick hug, told him the time and ran out of the Library, happier than she'd felt in weeks.

* * *

><p>"There you are!" Dorcas said, sitting down next to Lisa in Potions on Friday. "Seth Tenley was asking for you."<p>

"What?" the blond girl asked distractedly, stuffing the magazine she was holding in her bag.

"What's that?" the Slytherin asked with a grin and swiped it. "_A dress catalogue_?"

Lisa shushed her, face burning red, and took it back.

"I asked Remus to the Christmas party," she whispered. Dorcas' jaw dropped, but she recovered quickly and gave her friend a playful shove.

"Well, well, you finally took my advice, huh? I told you all you have to do is go out there and ask him out already. Seth is not gonna like that."

"Seth? Seth who?"

"Seth Tenley. He's been asking about you. Didn't you hear a word I said?"

"Oh." Lisa strained her memory. "Who was he again?"

"That Hufflepuff Snape and his gang were torturing on the second floor two nights ago? You walked him to his Common Room, remember?"

"Vaguely. It was a Tuesday; I could barely keep my eyes open. Transfiguration always sucks it out of me," she admitted.

"Well, _he_ remembers. You seem to have left quite an impression on him. Ever since then, he hasn't been able to shut up about you. Although Alice and me saved him just as much as you did. He's kinda cute, too. Talk about unfair..."

"I can't even recall what he looks like! If you want him, feel free to go after him."

Their conversation was interrupted by Slughorn entering the dungeon.

"I wish I could go to one of those parties," Dorcas continued in a low voice, as the Potions Professor was going on about producing an Elixir to Induce Euphoria. "Dahlia won't shut up about how _sophisticated_ and _glamorous_ they are."

"Trust me, you're not missing much," Lisa whispered back. "We're just sitting in a circle around him as he stuffs his face with crystallized pineapple most times. It's like we're his little _pets_."

"Pets that get to go to fancy parties and meet celebrities," the Slytherin grumbled.

"If it'll make you feel better, I promise I'll take you with me next year."

"And now, Miss Fawley will tell us what it is," Slughorn's voice boomed, suddenly right behind them, making them jump.

"Uh..." Lisa stared at him blankly.

"The main ingredient in an Elixir to Induce Euphoria, Miss Fawley. Since you seem to be conversing about something important with Miss Meadowes, I thought you were explaining to her the potion we are discussing." Even though he was scolding her, his eyes were sparkling with good humor. Suddenly, he spotted the rolled up magazine under the table.

"Oh, what's this?" he reached out and took it, casually flipping through. "I see... Well, it's good to know you plan on attending this time, Lisa. You gave been avoiding my little parties as of late," he said jovially. Lisa gave him a sheepish smile, but her poor attendance wasn't an accident. "Well, just make sure you prepare for it properly, I have a few people who really want to meet you." He gave the magazine back and continued with his lecture, moving away from their table.

"Getting away with _murder_!" Dorcas hissed in her ear.

Lisa rolled her eyes, but silently thanked the Universe Remus was sick again and missed this particular exchange between her and Slughorn.


	9. The Worst Party Ever

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

**The Worst Party Ever**

Remus paced back and forth nervously.

He had been debating with himself for the last half an hour. She'd made it clear they were only going as friends, but he knew that's not how it would feel for him, and he couldn't let himself grow to like her more than he already did. He thought distancing himself from her would do the trick, that if he didn't let himself feel anything while he was with her, it would eventually go away. But if it made her cry, it wasn't worth it. Nothing was.

But if he went to that party, he might end up falling for her even harder. And she didn't return his affections, so what was the point of torturing himself like that? He wanted to kick himself again. He knew he was slipping, starting to want things he knew he was never meant to have. But when he looked at her sometimes, his mind would just wander...

"Hey Moony, come on! You've been in there for like an hour!" Sirius banged on the bathroom door. Remus jumped, straightened his clothes and opened it.

"Sorry. You can go in now," he mumbled quickly.

"Why are you all dressed up?" Sirius asked dumbfounded, looking him up and down.

"Lisa asked you to the Christmas party, didn't she?" Peter called perceptively from behind James' latest issue of _Transfiguration Today_**.**

His friends turned to stare at him in bewilderment.

"How did you know?" Remus asked hoarsely.

"Like it could get more obvious," Peter rolled his eyes. "You two are practically staring holes into each other at every opportunity."

Sirius moved his surprised gaze to Remus, his eyebrows rising in realization.

"Mate... you fancy Fawley?"

"I do not." Remus clenched his fists, his nails sinking painfully in his palms.

"Why didn't you say anything? If I'd known-"

"There's nothing to know, Sirius!" Remus exploded. "There's nothing between me and Lisa, and there never can be!"

"Never _can_ be?" Sirius' brows knitted. "Don't tell me you're holding yourself back."

"I'm a freak, Sirius," Remus said more calmly, looking away. "You know as well as I do I can't have a relationship like that. I'm not... I'm not human."

"_Not human!?_" Sirius exclaimed angrily, clutching Remus' the front of robes. "Where the bloody hell did that rubbish come from!? Excepting one measly night of the month, you're just as human as the rest of us! As long as you don't take her out during the full moon, there is _nothing_ stopping you from having a girl!"

"And what happens when she finds out!?" Remus shouted back. "What happens when she learns she's with a monster?"

"Fawley's not a shallow prat. She'll under-"

"YOU CAN'T KNOW THAT!" he jerked away from Sirius' grasp roughly. Breathing heavily, he looked at his friends' stunned faces.

"Remus... _we_ understood" Peter said carefully, putting the magazine down.

"And I'm very grateful for that, I really am, but it's different for you!" Remus barked. "You don't have to spend time alone with me, or touch me, or..."

"Look mate, if I swung that way, I'd be all over you, bu-" Sirius started with a smirk.

"This _isn't_ funny! It's one thing to be friends with someone like me; it's a completely different thing to... to _be_ with me."

"If James were here, he'd tell you to take a chance," Peter said.

"What's the worse that could happen?" added Sirius. "You lose her? If you don't try, you'll never even have her."

Remus moved his eyes from one to the other. They were making sense, and the thought terrified him.

"I can't," he said quietly. "I think it would hurt less if I never tried."

And with that, he turned his back to his friends and left the dorm.

* * *

><p>"You look incredible," Marlene said, watching Lisa turn around in front of the bathroom mirror. Both Alice and Lily had already left for the party a few minutes ago, and Mary was doing some homework in the Library.<p>

"Thanks," Lisa said absentmindedly, smoothing out the wrinkles on her light blue dress robes. "Let's hope he thinks the same..."

"You have a _date_?" Marlene's eyes widened and a grin crossed her lips. "Who is he? When did he ask you?"

"Can we leave the gossip for _after_ the party? I'm a bit nervous." Lisa rubbed her hands together, but Marlene's smile only grew.

"Fine, but you owe me _full details_."

Lisa rolled her eyes, but a smile crept on her lips nonetheless. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The Common Room was noisy as usual, but Remus was nowhere to be seen. In the corner, Lisa spotted Felicity Rickett and a few of her friends, so she approached them quickly.

"Wow, your dress robes are beautiful!" Felicity exclaimed.

"Better be, with all the money it cost me," Lisa quipped. "Have you seen Remus?"

"Yeah, he ran past like... what, ten minutes ago? Went out the portrait. Wait, are you-"

"Thanks, Felicity," Lisa said quickly and rushed to the portrait hole.

Did he decide to skip out? Why didn't he tell her? As soon as she climbed through the entrance though, she almost ran into him.

"Lisa!" he exclaimed, startled. "I was just about to... you look beautiful."

She felt a blush color her face.

"Thanks. You too. You look handsome, that is. I mean, I'm not sure why beautiful can't be applied to guys, I have heard it used in that way, but is seems weird to call a guy beautiful. But if you can use the word for both genders, why would there even be a need for a gender specific word that only applies to men, you can't call a girl handsome, although I don't see why not, but if you did call a girl that, would you mean that she looked like a good-looking guy, or a good-looking girl, or maybe a good-looking person in general-"

Despite the heavy ball in his stomach, Remus couldn't help but smile.

"... I'm doing it again, aren't I?" she caught herself.

He chuckled and offered her his arm. She took it with an awkward smile and they headed to Professor Slughorn's office.

"So, um... why were you outside?" she asked, trying to distract herself from the frantic beating of her heart. His face fell.

"I... I had a row with Sirius and Peter."

"Oh... what about?"

"Nothing that was any of their business," he replied bitterly.

"Listen... I know it's probably not any of my business either, but... you lot are best friends. I'm sure they're just... trying to look out for you." He tried to say something, but she cut him off. "Do you think me and Cass agree about everything? We've come _this_ close to hexing each other more than once, but I know she always has my back. Even if her nagging advice _does_ get annoying at times, it's only because she wants to help me. You know what I mean?"

He nodded and let out an exasperated sigh.

"They just... they're talking about things they don't understand."

"Maybe so. But they're doing it, because they think that's how you can be happy. Believe me when I say Cass can go on for _hours_ about how my life would be _so much better_, if I only did what she told me. It frustrates me, but I know she means well."

His brow smoothed a bit and he laughed softly.

"How did you two become friends, anyway? I've always wondered. Did you know each other before Hogwarts?"

"You mean because of the house thing?" Lisa chuckled. "No, we met in first year. Marlene had detention for... I can't even remember what, and everyone was paired up for potions, you four, Alice with Mary and Lily with Snape. So I had to pair up with a Slytherin, and she was the only one without a partner. I was eleven, so I... I kinda bought into that whole 'all Slytherins are evil' thing. So she and I didn't exactly get on the right foot. In the middle of class she went off about how I was a bigoted moron, who lets the masses dictate my every thought and was just a brainless sheep."

"I remember that," he perked up. "Her wand rained sparks into your cauldron and the whole thing exploded."

"Yeah," she smiled fondly. "We both smelled like sweaty socks for a week. And we got detention after that, to clean up the mess. So we got to talking, and..."

"And you became best friends."

"Not everyone gets us at first. We _are_ very different. I'm awkward and hot-tempered, and she's all grace and poise, but we're alike where it matters. I trust her completely."

Remus smiled to himself.

"I guess I get that. My friends can be arrogant prats sometimes, but I do trust them with my life."

"See? I told you. Don't get cross with them; they're only looking out for you," she rubbed his arm comfortingly, making his heart beat on double speed. He couldn't believe how much lighter his chest felt, after only a short conversation with her.

When they reached the door to Slughorn's office, there was music playing from somewhere inside. Remus opened the door for Lisa with a slight bow, making her giggle. As soon as they entered, their eyes fell on Slughorn, taking a central place in the room, talking to a very serious looking wizard, introducing him to Lily Evans and James Potter. Lisa and Remus exchanged an amazed look.

"Did you know they were-?"

"No. Did you?"

At that moment, Lily spotted them and almost let out a groan. James turned to look, and his face stretched into a huge grin, as he waved enthusiastically for them to come closer.

"Lily, I had no-" Lisa started, but the redhead cut her off quickly.

"This is _not_ a date!"

"Indeed. I am but a simple guard, bestowed the favor of protecting this fair maiden," James bowed, the self-important smirk not leaving his mouth. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I only agreed because you wouldn't stop pestering me! And I'm pretty sure you scared away anyone else who wanted to ask me!"

"How was I to know they weren't a secret Death Eater?"

"You're impossible!" Lily puffed angrily, walking away.

"Come on, Evans! I was only looking out for you!" he flashed one last grin at Remus and Lisa and followed her through the crowd.

"Well, that was... perfectly normal, actually. Mead?" Remus offered.

Lisa nodded, but they had barely filled their goblets, when Slughorn put his giant palm on her shoulder.

"There you are, my dear! I have someone who you simply _must_ meet!" the Professor rumbled, ignoring Remus completely.

She let Slughorn drag her off, pulling Remus with her, to face a tall woman dressed in brilliant yellow robes.

"This here is Erika Guptill, the amazing Captain of the Holyhead Harpies! Erika, this is the young woman I was telling you about."

Lisa gaped at the witch before her, completely awestruck.

"Nice to meet you," Remus shook the Quidditch Captain's hand, saving the situation. "Lisa is one of the best fliers the Gryffindor's ever seen. She performed extraordinarily well in the last match against Slytherin a month ago."

"Yes, yes, quite. The match even had to be rescheduled, because there was sabotage against her. She is the best on the team, you know, so some prankster set the Quaffle to explode in her hands, to get her out of the game." Slughorn added.

Lisa was almost amazed at how wrong that statement was. It was common knowledge that _James_ was the best flyer on the team, and that was not at all the reason she got hurt. She realized, a bit disgusted, that Slughorn was trying to _sell_ her.

"Really? Tell me Lisa, how do you feel about going pro after Hogwarts?" Erika Guptill asked intrigued.

"If I do, you will know it when I come to try out," Lisa said boldly. Remus almost choked on his drink.

"Is that so?" the Captain said, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards. "I'll be sure to keep my eyes open, then."

Slughorn gave out a hearty laugh and left the company to chase after a floating platter of crystallized pineapple. After Erika Guptill, they met with Harold Minchum, the current Minister for Magic, who terrified them with his plans for improving Azkaban with even more Dementors; Violeta Stitch, the author of a best selling book about spells and the leading man of the band '**The Hobgoblins**' Stubby Boardman, who was wearing a ridiculous spiked outfit, presumably to impress his Slug Club fans.

"And so we're thinking of promoting the new album by having a concert at Gringotts, but those blasted goblins-" he was explaining, when some girl in the crowd recognized him and asked for an autograph. He turned sharply to face her, ripping Remus' right sleeve with one of his spikes.

"Sorry, mate" Stubby said quickly and turned to his fan, ignoring the red that was beginning to seep through the sleeve.

"That stuck up, good for nothing-..." Lisa shot him a glare. "Roll up your sleeve, I'll fix this up for you."

Remus' face went white with panic and he drew back abruptly.

"No need for that. I... I have some dittany in my dorm," he said quickly and ran out the door.

"What? Dittany? Remus, wait!" she ran after him.

She probably would've lost him, if it weren't for the trail of blood he was leaving. He was as far as the second floor, when she finally caught up to him.

"Remus, _wait up_! What's gotten into you!?" Lisa demanded, cutting off his path. "You're in pain, let me help-"

"No!" he growled, almost feral.

She froze and stared at him in shock. She'd never seen him like this before.

"You're hurt," she said, softly but insistently. "I can heal you. It'll only take a couple of seconds."

She took a step forward, he took a step back.

"If you don't let me, you'll pass out. Be reasonable," she urged.

"I don't need help!" he insisted. "I'll just get the dittany..."

"Dittany isn't nearly as good as a healing spell!" Lisa was starting to get irritated. "Come here and let me do it, or I'll stun you!"

Their eyes locked, and he saw she meant it. Begrudgingly, he stepped forward and slowly rolled up his sleeve. Lisa gasped and almost dropped her wand. His whole arm was covered in nasty-looking scars, his flesh so twisted and deformed, it looked more like a gnarled piece of wood than an arm. He started to turn around and leave, when her hand shot forward and held his wrist firmly, as she spoke the incantation. When she was done, there was no sign of the wound, but all of his old scars remained.

"What happened to you?" she asked, unable to look away from them.

"You promised you wouldn't ask questions," he reminded her in a small voice.

"That was before I knew someone was hurting you."

"No one is hurting me."

"What's all this then, a tattoo?! I want to _help_-"

"Well, you can't!" he said sharply, pulling away. "You can't help me, so stay the hell AWAY!"

He walked briskly down the corridor, leaving her confused and shocked, _again_. Except this time, it was much, much worse.


	10. No One Understands Muggle Money

_A/N: Really quick, there's now a character cast. The link is on my profile, if you care to see what everyone in this story looks like to me._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

**No one understands muggle money**

Remus avoided Lisa completely on the last two days of term, and didn't even look up, when she passed the Marauder's compartment on the Hogwarts express. Dorcas and Marlene both pestered her for details about the party, but she stubbornly kept silent, even going so afar as to threaten them with a jinx if they didn't drop it. It was his secret, not hers, and she'd be damned if she let it slip, even to Dorcas.

Lisa said goodbye to her friends at the train station, promised to write and sank miserably into her mum's welcome back hug.

"So, how was school?" her little sister Julie asked, sticking her fingers inside Gwen's cage.

"You'll find out next year," Lisa replied and ruffled her hair, an act her sister despised.

"Muuuum!" Julie whined.

"Come on, girls" Mr. Fawley said, scooping both of them under his arms. "We best be heading back or the line for the floo will be out to the street."

They took a muggle taxi to the Leaky Cauldron, but instead of flooing back to their house, her mum told her, "We're going to Grandpa's sweetie. Don't forget, Denton Crescent, Low Row."

"Why aren't we going home?" Lisa asked. She wasn't feeling up for any visits right now.

"Because Grandma and Grandpa miss you," her dad said.

"Low Row is so _boring_!" Julie piped up. "There's nothing to do there!"

"That's why Grandpa likes it," Mr. Fawley smirked. "It's far away from any _nosy reporters_."

Lisa sighed, surrendering. They really hadn't visited in a while, but who could blame them? Low Row was a tiny village with exactly one ancient stone pub and one road going through it. It was as out of the way as they get.

* * *

><p>"Lisa!" her Grandmother smothered her in a hug, as soon as she popped in the den. "You look thin, dear. They don't feed you enough in that school!"<p>

"Grandma, they serve the food and you eat as much as you want," she rolled her eyes. Her Grandmother was American and had never set foot in Hogwarts.

"Grandma!"

"Julie!"

Grandma Fawley released Lisa and transferred her affection to her sister for the moment.

"Hey Liz," her Grandfather called from the door.

"Hi grandpa," she hugged him, free of his wife's theatrics.

"So, you're staying for Christmas, eh? About time you came to see this old codger..."

"You're not that old, dad," Mr. Fawley said, coming out of the fireplace with Lisa's luggage.

Grandma Fawley fussed over their tired faces, and ushered them all into the kitchen, where the house elves were already serving dinner.

"Thank you," said Lisa to the one that placed a goblet of Gillywater in front of her. The family stared at her in surprise and the elf smiled widely with a low bow. "It doesn't hurt to say it once in a while," she mumbled, as they exchanged confused looks.

The family had a cozy dinner, but while the two Mrs. Fawleys were amusing Julie with fun stories, the men were whispering on the other end of the table. Lisa, tired of listening to her mother's chatter, leaned over to her dad's side. The conversation stopped immediately.

"He's gathering followers in Hogwarts. Muggle-borns are being tortured left and right. I'll be of age in a few months, I need to be prepared for what's out there," she stated seriously in a low voice. Her dad and grandpa exchanged glances, but nodded.

"It's getting worse," Mr. Fawley continued quietly. "Orgen from work is a Death Eater. Imperiused Dodson to make him try to kill Cuffe last Tuesday."

"Be on your guard," Grandpa Fawley advised. "I made a huge mistake underestimating Grindelwald when I was Minister for Magic. This Voldemort fellow sounds just as bad, and that's saying something."

"The Minister could be Imperiused as well," Lisa added. "I met him a few days ago at Slughorn's Christmas Party at Hogwarts. He told me all about how he's going to place _more_ Dementors at Azkaban. He's either off his rocker, or working with Voldemort."

"That barmy blighter," Mr. Fawley sighed. "That's exactly what we need right now – more Dementors. As if the air wasn't dark enough already."

"Is your editor still not letting articles through?" Lisa asked, making her Grandpa arch his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes. He's adamant about not spreading panic. But we keep the obituaries accurate," said Mister Fawley. "He means well. That's why he was targeted – Voldemort _wants_ everyone to know what he's doing."

"Do you list all the disappearances as well?" Lisa raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"No. I'm working on it, though. People need to know if the friends they haven't had the time to check with recently have gone missing."

"And by 'missing', you mean they're probably being tortured for information or have been blown to bits with a curse," Lisa said darkly.

"So, how about some coco?" Mrs. Fawley asked loudly, eyeing the three of them and inclining her head towards little Julie meaningfully.

"Do you want me to teach you how to build the tallest Exploding Snap tower?" Grandma Fawley asked the ten year old, earning an excited 'Yes!'

Lisa exchanged glances with her dad and grandpa and they all agreed now was not the best time to discuss such things. It was Christmas after all, and the family was together.

* * *

><p>Lisa tossed and turned all night and only managed to fall asleep shortly before sunrise. She knew she should be worrying about other things, the deaths, disappearances, and the terror happening everywhere, but her thoughts just couldn't stay away from Remus Lupin. The way he'd snarled at her like a wild animal, how he told her to stay away... she was ashamed to admit it, but it haunted her more than the deaths of nameless people. She felt bad about it, but in the end, it was him that was on her mind before she drifted off to sleep, not Voldemort and his Death Eaters.<p>

"Wake up! Wake up!" shouted Julie, jumping up and down on her sister's bed.

"Get off, you brat!" Lisa shouted half-asleep and kicked her to the floor.

"UP! UP! UP!" the little girl persisted, pushing Lisa's sleeping form.

"Leave me alone!"

"Get UP! Mum said you got to!"

"If you don't go away, I'll turn your hair into snakes!"

"Liar! You can't use magic outside of school!"

"You wanna try me, pipsqueak?!"

"MUUUUUUUUUM! LISA SAID SHE'D TURN ME INTO A SNAKE!"

"Shut up!" Lisa whined, hiding from her sister's high-pitched wailing under the blanket.

"Lisa, honey, get dressed. I need you to run to the grocery store," Mrs. Fawley popped in the room.

"Why me?"

"Because I'm busy with the decorations, and Dad and Grandpa went out for a tree."

"What about Grandma?"

"She's overseeing the cooking. We're having the neighbors for dinner tonight."

Lisa grumbled under her breath, but got up. Julie was bouncing all around, irritating her.

"Don't you have someone else to bother?!" she snapped.

"Dad said to keep close to you while he's gone!" Julie pouted.

Lisa rolled her eyes. She had suspected her dad's slightly paranoid foresight was the true reason they came all the way to the middle of nowhere to celebrate Christmas. After all, what would Death Eaters want in out-of-the-way Low Row?

When she went downstairs, her mum gave her some muggle money and a list of what they needed, told her to not let Julie out of her sight and explained where the store was. The two girls put on their coats and went out into the cold white street. Lisa held her wand at the ready in one hand and Julie's fingers in the other. Now that they were actually by themselves, she decided you never _can_ be too careful.

"Hello," Lisa greeted the burly storeowner, as she entered the shabby store. "I'll need all of this please," she said, giving him the note from her mum.

The man furrowed his brows and went around the store, gathering the products. Lisa looked around wearily. She didn't like how initially distrusting she was of everyone in the place, but what else could she do? She had to be, for Julie's sake. The little girl was glancing curiously at everything, so blissfully unaware that any one of those people could jump up and kill them for being blood traitors at any second.

"There," the owner puffed, handing her two big plastic bags.

"Thank you," Lisa replied, giving him the muggle money.

"What're you trying to pull, eh? This here's Canadian money! You want this stuff, you pay up with pounds!"

"P-Pounds?" Lisa stuttered. Were they going to weigh her on some giant scale and cut off parts of her as payment?! "I... all I have is seven galleons..." she threw her coin purse on the counter and it jingled. The storeowner took it and looked inside, carefully examining the golden currency.

"What game are you playing, girl?" he snarled. "Now pay me real money or get out of here!"

Lisa gripped her wand tighter. At a time like this Unauthorized Use of Magic by an Underage Witch would be the last of the ministry's problems. Suddenly, a woman walked forward and said with a smile:

"It's quite all right. I'll pay for it."

She gave the owner some pieces of paper; he puffed again, but accepted them. She walked the girls out of the store, and gave Lisa back her purse.

"Here you go," the woman smiled kindly. "You shouldn't try to buy things with galleons. Muggles have no idea it's money."

"Thank you so much! My parent's aren't very good with muggle currency. Are you a witch?" Lisa asked gratefully.

"No, no, but my husband is a wizard. We live a bit outside the village, but we visit often enough. Are you the Fawley girls?"

"You know our names?" Julie squeaked excitedly.

"Of course I do. Your Grandmother likes to go on and on about you."

"Are you the one coming over for dinner tonight, then?" Julie asked perceptively.

"Yes. We're the only wizarding families in the area, so your Grandfather was kind enough to invite us," the woman said. "Go on now; your parents will get worried."

With a last 'thank you' toward the kind woman, Lisa pulled Julie back to the house.

* * *

><p>Remus was trying to read in front of the fire, but he couldn't concentrate. How he left things with Lisa just didn't leave his mind all day. The way he acted with her... she probably hated him now. Or she saw what she eventually would – that he was a beast. The book didn't help either - <strong>Alchemy<strong>**, Ancient Art and Science****.** Just looking at the title made his chest ache. He wished he could take it back, wished he acted a bit more mature, a bit less scared. He was just terrified that she'd find out and lost his grip, because he was not ready to tell her. Maybe he never would be.

At that moment, his mother entered the den, face red from the cold, but smiling brightly.

"Any trouble?" his father asked behind today's issue of the _Daily Prophet_.

"Just a bit" she said. Her husband and son immediately lifted their faces from their respective reading. Hope Lupin laughed heartily. "I helped two girls who mixed up their muggle money. Nothing serious."

"Tourists?" Lyall guessed.

"No, the Fawley girls. You know, Susan Fawley's granddaughters? One of them is Remus' age."

"What?" Remus asked, almost in a trance. There's no way he heard that name right.

"The Fawleys, dear. We're going there for dinner tonight. I'm sure I told you..."

The book slipped from his grasp and Remus jumped on his feet, threw his coat on and ran out the door. His parents exchanged surprised glances, but they had lived in Low Row long enough to know it was too out of the way to be dangerous, so they let him go. He ran as fast as his feet would carry him, trying desperately to remember what his mother had said about the family they would dine with tonight. He had been only half listening at the time, concerned that he would have to wait weeks before he would have the opportunity to explain himself to Lisa, but since the village was so tiny, the biggest house wasn't hard to spot. He searched the windows with his eyes, looking for any sign of her, and he spotted her almost immediately.

She was sitting next to one of the windows, knitting something. Remus smiled to himself. He didn't know she knitted. He imagined her looking down and smiling at him and the thought filled him up with so much warmth, he could burst. Bending down to look for some sort of pebble to throw at the window, he remembered that her reaction would probably be a lot different than he thought and his hand froze in mid-air. She could still be mad at him, or maybe she'd be upset, or confused. And she'd probably demand an explanation that he couldn't bring himself to give. He straitened up and sighed deeply, wondering what he should do. He knew he'd have to face her eventually, but the thought that she would be cross with him gnawed at his insides and he just couldn't do it.

After a while, Remus caught a glimpse of a little blond girl he presumed to be her sister, opening a different window and gathering some snow. Within seconds, Lisa's work was interrupted by a snowball, and he could hear them chasing each other inside. He chuckled softly, hearing Lisa's cries of frustration. '_I'll go in when I'm ready_', he decided. '_When I've planned what to tell her... I'll go in._'

* * *

><p>"Hope, how nice to see you again, dear! And you too, Lyall, I haven't seen you in ages!" Grandma Fawley said heartily, ushering the couple into the dining room. "You've met my husband, of course," Grandpa Fawley inclined his head. "And this is our son, Robert and his wife, Dawn."<p>

Mr. Fawley stood up and shook hands with Mr. Lupin.

"And you remember my charming granddaughters I suppose, Hope? Julie told me you helped them in the store today."

"Yes, of course," Hope Lupin beamed.

"My name is Julie and I'm starting Hogwarts in September," Julie announced to the guests proudly. "And this is my sister Lisa, who turns seventeen in the spring." Lisa smiled at the couple.

"Everyone, this is Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. They live a bit out of the way, but Hope has been kind enough to come have tea with me once a week," Grandma Fawley explained. Lisa dropped her fork. "Was Remus unable to make it?" she continued, concerned. "He and Lisa are in the same year, I thought it would be a nice surprise for her."

"I'm so sorry, but he's been feeling under the weather," Hope said apologetically. "He ran an unexpected fever tonight and had to stay home. But he wishes you all happy holidays!"

Grandma Fawley nodded understandingly. "You did mention the boy was sickly... I hope he'll be all right by himself. You don't keep any house elves, I believe?"

"No, but he's a sensible boy. I'm sure he'll be fine," Lyall smiled reassuringly and the guests sat down.

It wasn't long before the adults were consumed by their conversation, giving way for Lisa's imagination to spiral out of control. He was _so close_, yet he knowingly didn't call on her. He'd known his family would visit hers, but he chose to stay behind. Was he _that_ cross with her? If she went to see him tomorrow, would he turn her away? Would he tell her to keep her distance, to never go near him again? Would he ever talk and laugh with her as he did before, or did she mess it all up? Why the hell did she push him!? She should've just let it go, like she told Dorcas she would, let him come to her, not squeeze violently! If she had just read the room and let him get the damned dittany...

"You've been quiet, Lisa. Are you feeling all right?" her mum asked from her right.

"No, actually," she replied, a bold plan forming in her head. "I think that snowball fight with Julie today wasn't the best idea."

"Because it was inside the house, or because you knocked down the tree and broke half the decorations?" Grandma Fawley puffed, earning a laugh from around the table.

"You want to go lie down for a minute?" her mum suggested gently.

Lisa nodded and feinting fatigue, she slowly climbed the stairs to her room. She had to be careful about this, because if her dad got wind of it, she'd be grounded until she turned seventeen. Grabbing her Invisibility cloak and a package sloppily wrapped in green paper, she put on a coat and took hold of her broom. Opening Gwen's cage, she scribbled something on a piece of paper and bound it to the owl's leg, then hastily piled some pillows on the bed to resemble her sleeping form and opened the window wide.

"Take this to Remus," she said to Gwen and let her out, mounting the broom and flying after her.

The cold air pierced her body, but thankfully her small tawny owl didn't fly that fast. They soared through the dark winter sky, over the quiet, sleepy village of Low Row. The streets were bare and the windows shone with welcoming light. Gwen didn't descend to any of them, instead continuing west, to the woods. For a moment, Lisa wondered if the Lupins lived in there, when she saw the lonely light of a single window, just at the edge of the forest. Her heart sank painfully, thinking how most families were gathered around a dinner table right now and having a good time, including theirs, but Remus was all alone at home. Gwen tapped on the window and Lisa landed on the doorstep.


	11. A Norman Rockwell Holiday

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**A Norman Rockwell Holiday**

Remus turned the vinyl over in his hands.

As soon as his parents left for that dinner with the Fawleys, he snuck into their room and took his mother's copy of the first Billy Joel album, _Piano Man_. It really wasn't his style of music, but he couldn't help it – it reminded him of her. It made him feel closer to Lisa somehow, without having to navigate complicated conversations and battle himself every five minutes. He put it on the record player and placed the needle at random, somewhere around the middle. "_If I only had the words to tell you__, __If you only had the time to understand__..."_ Remus smiled sadly. Maybe Billy Joel could start to grow on him.

He sat down on the table and stared at the blank parchment in front of him. He thought that if he could write it all down and memorize it, it'd be easier when he confronted her. Suddenly, there was faint tapping on the window. Getting up, he realized he's never seen this particular owl before. He opened it and the bird flew in, landing on his shoulder and extending its leg. A message was tied to it. _"Front door."_

Remus' head whipped to look at it. There was no knock, nothing to indicate someone was out there. His heart was thumping wildly within his chest, because he recognized the handwriting. It was Lisa's.

He took two giant steps towards the entrance, his hand resting on the handle. Was it really her? Could it be some sort of trap? She didn't know where he lived, but his parents could have told her, and way out here there wasn't even any Death Eater activity as of yet. But if it _was_ her, would she yell at him? Would she ask why he wasn't at the dinner? Would she (rightly so) tell him he was an inconsiderate berk? He didn't know what to do, but he couldn't leave her out in the snow. The door swung open, and she was there, a broom in one hand and a package in the other, an open Invisibility cloak over her shoulders.

"Remus," she said breathlessly.

They looked at each other for a moment, lasting decades. Then she suddenly flung herself forward and held him in a tight hug.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered.

He was frozen on the spot, but after a bit of hesitation, his arms moved as if they had a mind of their own and slowly wrapped around her. He breathed in her sweet honey-like scent and closed his eyes in relief.

"Merry Christmas."

It wasn't long before the winter chill forced them apart, and they went inside. Remus glanced at the blank parchment on the table and steeled himself for an argument. He was just going to have to wing it.

"Lisa-"

"I'm sorry," she cut through, taking off the cloak. "I did promise, I should've let it go. Please don't be cross with me."

He gaped at her. _She_ was apologizing?

"I, um... I made this for you... it's a sort of peace offering. And it doubles as a Christmas present," she said shyly, giving him the green package in her hands. He held it, still too taken aback to say anything.

"I know, I suck at gift wrapping... and again, I'm really sorry. I should have respected your privacy..." she mumbled, as he unwrapped it. Inside was a short red scarf. His hand shook slightly.

"And you-?"

"Yeah, I made it," she admitted sheepishly. "I started working on it last week... I know it's a bit uneven... I was just finishing it, when my sister threw a snowball at me."

Remus found himself at a loss for words. How could he express the guilt, the relief and the sheer _happiness_ the last few minutes had brought him?

"I... I don't know what to say..."

"Just say you'll forgive me," Lisa said, eyes pleading.

"There's nothing to forgive." Remus felt a lump forming in his throat. "I overreacted. I'm sorry too, for the way I treated you. I was out of line and I was just-" he stopped himself, before he could say it, but it was too late.

"You were... what?" she asked, a crease of confusion appearing between her eyebrows.

"I was afraid you'd see," he breathed.

"Your scars, you mean?" She took a step closer. "Remus, I... I know you said I couldn't help you, but are you _sure_? If it's Snape's gang or anyone else, if someone hurt you, I'd-"

"You promised you wouldn't ask," he reminded her softly. She bit her bottom lip.

"Alright then," she said after a small pause. "You know what you're doing... so I'll trust you."

The song that had been playing in the background ended, and the next, more upbeat track started.

"Is that... Billy Joel?" Lisa asked with a grin, making him blush. The air in the room felt much warmer all of a sudden.

"It's my mother's. Since you seem to like him so much, I thought I'd check it out." She beamed at him, and before he could stop himself, he blurted impulsively: "Fancy a dance?"

She looked taken aback for a second, but took his stretched out hand and he pulled her close. One hand in hers, and the other on her waist, he twirled her around the room with fast, flowing movements, as her laugh rang out merrily.

* * *

><p>When Mr. and Mrs. Lupin neared their home, they were surprised to hear laughter coming from inside. Exchanging curious glances with her husband, Hope opened the door and was stunned to see her son and Lisa Fawley sitting at the table, each with a smoking mug in their hands, chatting happily. She looked at Lyall, who was just as surprised as her. Lisa's eyes fell on the couple and she shook with even more violent giggles.<p>

"Mum! Dad!" Remus got up abruptly, as the girl next to him tried to cover her mouth to muffle her snickering.

"Lisa! Why aren't you at home?" Hope asked, moving her eyes from one teen to the other. Lisa stopped laughing, flushed bright red and got up as well.

"Please don't tell my parents," she said. "If my dad knew I snuck out, he'd lose it."

"In that case, you better get home," Lyall said, trying to be stern. "What were you thinking, sneaking out after dark in times like these?"

"I'll walk you back," Remus volunteered immediately.

"Don't be daft," Lisa said, enveloping herself in an Invisibility cloak. "I flew here. And I have to fly back, so I can reach the window."

"It's too dangerous!" he insisted, but she only rolled her eyes.

"No Death Eaters are stalking the streets of Low Row, Remus. I'll be fine."

She took her broom and walked by Mister and Missis Lupin, giving them an awkward smile.

"Be careful, dear!" Hope called after her.

Remus rushed by to say goodbye, and they lingered at the door.

"Come on, love," said Hope and tugged at her husband's arm. "Let's give them some privacy." When he turned to face her, there were happy tears in his eyes.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days, Remus and Lisa spent most of their time together. Sometimes they went for long walks in the snow-covered meadows, sometimes they had to babysit Julie and played with her, building snow forts and having snowball fight that lasted for hours. Mr. Fawley always made sure they had their Invisibility cloak with them and reminded Lisa often that the laws for underage wizards weren't being kept that vigorously.<p>

One cold afternoon they had planned to go for a walk again, and Lisa practically ran to the door when she heard the knock.

"Ready?" Remus greeted her with a wide smile, making her feel all warm inside.

"Hold it!" Mr. Fawley shouted from behind, rushing to the door. "Lisa, you almost forgot your cloak!"

"Dad," Lisa whined. "_No one_ is going to attack us out here! I'm tired of carrying it around everywhere!"

"You can never be too safe," he insisted stubbornly.

"Understood, sir" Remus called. "I promise I'll make sure no harm will come to her."

Mr. Fawley put a hand on his shoulder fatherly.

"Take care of my girl," he said imploringly and Remus nodded. Lisa rolled her eyes.

"If everyone is done being _dramatic_, I want to go out before it gets dark," she quipped.

"Remember, the Statue of Secrecy is not upheld that-"

"Yes, dad, we know, bye now!" Lisa shoved Remus out the door and closed it quickly, sighing in aggravation.

"He's just looking out for you," Remus said, straightening his red scarf. "With all the things he's seen, you can't really blame him."

"I know, I know," she waved dismissively. "I don't blame him. I'm just annoyed."

They started down the snow-covered path, and she casually slipped her arm through his.

"Can you believe we've been living this close all along?" she asked, trying to distract him so he wouldn't pull away.

"Not all along," he said. "We only moved to Low Row shortly after I started Hogwarts. And you don't live here, your grandparents do."

"I guess you're right. And we haven't visited in a few years, because Julie becomes unbearable here."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked surprised. He found the little girl quite charming.

"I mean, she's a kid with _a lot_ of energy, and this is a small village in the middle of nowhere with _nothing to do_. Do you know what happens to little kids that are bored? They become hurricanes of annoyance! She glues herself to me like gum and constantly talks and squeaks and asks stupid questions! I can't ignore her, I can't hex her, I can't even tell her off without earning a scolding! And when she throws tantrums and her magic goes out of control, who gets blamed? Me! _Lisa, why did you provoke her? Lisa, why didn't you look after her?_"

Remus chuckled.

"Having a sibling sounds fun," he said.

"Fun, until she pulls your covers off to wake you up," Lisa grumbled.

"At least you always have someone with you. Someone you can talk to, and play with even."

Lisa turned to look at him. She had never thought how lonely it must be to live in a small town like this, with no one but your parents for company.

"Do you miss the Marauders? During breaks, I mean?"

"Of course I do. They may get me in trouble a lot, but they're my best mates. You miss Dorcas, don't you?"

"Yeah..." But she had a feeling it was a different for him somehow. "You know what else I miss? A movie theater."

"What?" he shot her an amused glance.

"A muggle movie theater. I went with Cass a couple of years ago, after Lily wouldn't shut up about it. It was third year, I think, around Christmas. They were showing this old muggle movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life'."

"Ah, a classic."

"You've seen it? It's one of my favorite movies."

"Mine too," he smiled.

"We should... go watch it sometime. We can floo to London," she suggested.

"Maybe..." he faltered.

"My dad probably wouldn't let me stalk around London anytime soon, now that I think about it," she quipped. "Muggle technology really is fascinating though, isn't it? I sometimes regret not taking Muggle Studies."

"If you had, you wouldn't invoke the wrath of burly storeowners," he said playfully.

"Hey! My mum gave that money to me and said it's what I needed! How was I supposed to know he'd want me to pay him in _pounds_!? How does that work anyway, do they starve you until you lose them, or do they cut off limbs?"

He looked at her in disbelief for a second, before erupting in a hearty laugh.

"Don't make fun of me!" she pouted. He laughed even harder and it took a while, before he was able to answer her calmly.

"I'm not making fun of you! It's just ridiculous to think muggles in this day and age would be so... barbaric. A pound is a unit of currency, like a galleon. It's only a piece of paper."

"Okay, first of all, they should have less ambiguous names for things! And second, why do they use _paper_? It gets so easily worn out and it can blow right out of your hand in the slightest breeze!"

"It's cheaper."

"How do you even know all this? I don't remember _you_ signing up for Muggle Studies!"

"What's the point? My mother is a muggle; she's told me most of what I need to know. The class is for people like you, who grow up ignorant about muggle culture."

"Why would I do that, when I can just ask you," Lisa smiled widely. "You're like a walking Encyclopedia. What started The Great Fire of London in 1666? Go!"

"Um, a young Welsh Green Dragon kept in the basement of a house."

"See what I mean?"

"It's only because I read a lot."

"I read a lot too. I'm not half as clever as you."

"Rubbish. And James and Sirius are the most talented students in Hogwarts; I have to study like hell, just to catch up."

"Now _that's_ rubbish. You're one of the most capable wizards I've ever met. I think you could take James in a duel."

He laughed and they argued the point playfully, continuing down the road until they came across a small flock of tiny sparrows. Remus stopped and pulled out a rumpled napkin out of his pocket. Lisa glimpsed a few slices of bread in there, before he knelt down and scattered some a couple of feet away, as the birds gathered around the crumbs.

"You've got to be kidding," she whispered to herself with a smile and knelt down next to him.

"You're like a character from a Norman Rockwell painting, you know that?"

"Me? What makes you say that?" he asked, scattering more bread.

"You're just so... wholesome," she said.

"There's nothing wholesome about me," he laughed, but there was no joy behind it.

"Yeah, right. Kind and smart and a brilliant wizard... loves animals to boot! All you're missing is a bow tie and a whole tub of hair gel."

He laughed again, genuinely this time.

"You think I'll look good with a bow tie?"

She shoved him playfully. _'I think you're perfect just the way you are,' _she thought.

* * *

><p>It was dark outside when they came back to the Lupin home, happy and freezing. Hope told them to sit in front of the fireplace and quickly wrapped two blankets around their shoulders.<p>

"There's a package for you upstairs, dear," she said to Remus, handing him a mug of hot tea. "It seems rather large. Came by the post while you were out." Remus went slightly red in the face, but he was spared from Lisa's questioning, when Hope continued: "Your owl came by too, Lisa. It left the letter here, so..." she handed her a rather heavy envelope, along with her own mug.

Lisa opened it curiously and immediately recognized her best friend's handwriting.

"It's from Cass," she said happily, her eyes sliding down the page. "Mind if I borrow some parchment?"

He got up and returned shortly with a roll and quill. She thanked him and looked around for something hard to write on, her eyes falling on a book, resting on the fireplace mantle.

"**Alchemy, Ancient Art and Science**," she smiled fondly. "You still haven't finished it?"

"It's a big book! And I've been... preoccupied," he said awkwardly.

Lisa put the quill to the parchment and told Dorcas that she was spending the holidays at her grandparents', that Julie was being annoying as always, and about the indoors snowball fight they had and how they ruined the Christmas tree. Remus was leaning on his left hand, peeking behind her shoulder and his breath tickled her neck slightly. He was following her letter, so she thought it'd be weird if she didn't mention him.

'_P.S:_ _And you'll never believe who turned out to live in the same tiny, boring village..._'

Remus chuckled next to her and his hand covered hers, moving the quill over the page.

'_Remus Lupin says hi, and wishes you a late Merry Christmas.' _

She giggled and looked at him, and he was giving her _that_ smile. The one that always made her melt. And his hand was still over hers, and he was sitting so close, she could smell the camomile tea on his breath and see his lips were cracked a bit from the cold... Lisa felt the blood rush to her face and hastily folded the letter and left it on top of the fireplace, to take home later.

"So... since you took the time to listen to _Piano Man_... I was wondering if you could show me _your_ favorite record," she said, trying to distract herself from thinking about his lips.

"My favorite?" he screwed up his face in thought. "Sure, I think I have one that I've listened to more than the others."

He got up again and went to his room, returning with a vinyl. He placed it on the record player and came back to sit on the ground. The soft sounds of a clarinet filled the room, as they stared into the fire.

"What's that one called?" she asked.

"The very thought of you. This is an old Pee Wee Russell album"

"_Pee Wee?_"

"His real name was Charles. Pee Wee is just a nickname."

Lisa shook her head with a soft chuckle at the stupid nicknames muggles came up with and the music was so relaxing, without thinking she closed her eyes, leaned back and nestled herself in his shoulder. A spark of electricity passed through Remus and he told himself to pull away, but his arm moved on its own accord again and wrapped around her gently.


	12. Back on the Hogwarts Express

**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**Back on the Hogwarts Express**

"Write often!" Lisa said, hugging her father goodbye on platform 9 ¾.

"Every week," he assured her.

"And send me a BIG present!" Julie insisted.

"Your birthday isn't for a couple of months!" Lisa protested, wrapping an arm around her sister.

"I want something from Hogwarts, to go with my letter!" the little girl insisted.

"Then I'll send you the chains Filch uses to hang students from the ceiling," Lisa said menacingly. Julie's face went white.

"Don't worry, most times he only makes you scrub trophies and potion-covered desks," Remus laughed, having hugged his own parents. "I'll send you a big package of sweets from the Hogwarts kitchens, how's that?"

Julie screamed happily and hugged him.

"You're the best, Remus! I'm going to marry you when I grow up!" she said near his navel, making all the adults laugh.

"Come on, lover boy," Lisa snickered, pealing him away from her sister. "The wedding plans can start once we're _on_ the train."

Their parents helped them with the luggage, and they waved from the windows.

"Should we... find a compartment?" Remus suggested, as the train started moving. She nodded, but before they could take another step, a hurricane of black, silky hair obstructed her vision and she was caught in a strong hug.

"Lisa! All I've barely heard from you the last couple of weeks! I thought the Death Eaters might've gotten you," Dorcas said happily. "Come on, I've already gotten a compartment with..." she glanced at Remus. "Um, unless you'd prefer...?"

"I have to find the Marauders anyway," Remus said quickly. "See you around, Lisa."

She watched him walk away, and for some reason it felt as if the entire day got a little bit darker. It was like the very thought of Hogwarts build up his walls again. Walls she thought had finally come down. Lisa sighed heavily and followed Dorcas to their compartment. Inside she found Lily, Marlene and Mary, sitting with Dahlia Fleur-Peri, a girl she knew from the Slug Club, and Nataly Prior, one of the few Slytherins in the Defenders.

"Lisa!" Marlene exclaimed, sounding a bit relieved.

"Hey," Lisa said, a bit confused. "You did this on purpose, didn't you?" she whispered in Dorcas' ear when they sat down. The Slytherin shook with muffled laughter.

"I just thought it'd be good for your Gryffindor friends to meet some of mine," she whispered back innocently. Lisa rolled her eyes.

"So, Lily" Dahlia started, "I saw you at the Christmas Party with James Potter. Is it true you're dating?"

Lily's face was as red as her hair.

"No!" she retorted immediately. "We were only together, because he wouldn't leave me alone, until I said yes."

"If you say so," Dahlia consented. "I personally find him too arrogant for boyfriend material. He and his awful friends are always bullying someone."

"You don't know anything about James Potter, Dahlia. You've never even spoken to him," said Nataly.

"Oh, please. And you have?"

"No," she lied smoothly. "But you can't just declare him hopeless like that."

"I wasn't saying he was hopeless," Dahlia shrugged. "I expressed some personal preference, that's all. Bigoted fools deserve love too."

"James is not bigoted!" Lily snapped. Dahlia lifted her hands defensively, looking bored.

"Whatever you say, love."

Lily frowned and sulked in the corner for an hour, but the rest of the girls seemed to get along fine, for the most part. That is, until Dahlia mentioned Snape.

"I simply cannot believe you just left him by the wayside like that," Dahlia was saying. "I mean, he wasted _a lot_ of energy justifying hanging out with you to his friends. He only slipped."

"_Only slipped?_" Lily hissed. "He called me a mudblood!"

"Oh, you must be used to it by now, love. And I really don't understand why you lot get so offended by it. It's just another word for Muggle-born."

"Seriously Dahlia, just rub some more salt into the wound, why don't you," Dorcas groaned.

"What? I'm not a blood purist! I'm just saying! It's just a word like any other, so why do they get so defensive about it?" Dahlia puffed indignantly.

Marlene reached for her wand, but Nataly beat her to it.

"You're in the company of two muggle-borns. Do them the curtsy of not calling them trash while you travel with them," the Slytherin said menacingly. "You don't have to understand, to keep your mouth shut."

"I wasn't calling them trash!" Dahlia insisted. "I just don't see how the word is insulting!"

"Put the wand away, Nataly," Dorcas sighed. "There's no point. And Dahlia... would it kill you to stop running your mouth?"

Just then, the compartment door slid open and a young friendly witch popped in.

"Anything from the trolley, girls?"

"Yes!" Lisa exclaimed immediately, itching to get away from the tense atmosphere.

She quickly slipped in the corridor to look at the sweets for sale, and just as she was paying for her licorice wands and a few chocolate frogs, she noticed Remus' back, making a turn for the loo at the end of the carriage and her heart ached longingly. Then the bat-like silhouette of Snape, already in his school robes, followed him in a suspiciously brisk pace. Lisa's eyes narrowed.

"I'll be right back," she said to her friends and carefully approached the corner.

"I already told you, I'm not interested," she heard Remus say coldly.

"It's not up to me," Snape snarled. "I was told to convince you, so that's what I'm doing. You know your refusal will have consequences. _Outside_ of Hogwarts."

Remus was quiet and Lisa had a pretty good idea what he was thinking. She remembered his family's small cottage and his smiling mother, so fragilely muggle, and his father, often busy at the ministry... A flame burned in her gut, and her hand slipped down to grip the wand in her pocket. There was a flash of light and Snape hung upside down. A disarming spell followed, and Remus stared at her in stunned silence.

"I thought I warned you, Snivellus," Lisa said acidly.

"Let him go!" came a voice behind her. She turned around to see Lily, hands full of cauldron cakes and eyes sparkling dangerously.

"Lily," Lisa's voice was carefully measured. "I know you've been struggling with this, but it's time to face the facts. He's a slimy little berk, and he doesn't deserve your friendship."

Snape's head snapped in Lily's direction. He started to say her name, which immediately fueled Lisa's anger and she hit him with a Tongue–Tying Charm. Another flash and he was down on the ground, Lily's wand was out and the pastries were rolling on the floor.

"You're going to duel me for him!?" Lisa shouted, enraged. "Fine! I suppose I'll have to hex some sense into you!"

"Lisa!" Remus stepped forward, getting a hold of her wrist. "Don't."

"No! I'm tired of this!" she pulled her hand away roughly. "She needs to see him for what he is!"

Snape scrambled to his feet and made a grab for his wand, but Remus instinctively hit him with a Full-Body Bind.

"Stay out of this, Remus!" Lily hissed.

"Yes, do that!" Lisa seconded. "Snape is a git, Lily! He's a nasty slime ball, who's way too into the Dark Arts! Don't bother to deny it! And you know he's just as obsessed with blood purity as the rest of them!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is! James Potter may see humiliating someone as funny, but _Snape_... he sees _torture_ as a laugh! Whatever it was you had, however bad you feel for him, you know... you know that as long as he keeps doing this... you'll never truly be able to trust him."

The anger in Lily's eyed softened a bit. She shot a glance at Snape and his black, begging eyes.

"Think about it, Lily" Lisa continued, more calmly. "Once we graduate, where will you be? And where will he?"

Lily's hand shook, her eyes were welling up with tears.

"I know it's hard to truly let go. But you're not stupid. You can see where this will end."

The redhead's hand dropped to her side. She turned around and walked away with one last lingering look at her former friend. Snape stared after her longingly, and then threw Lisa the most venomous, hate filled glare she had ever received.

* * *

><p>Lily wasn't at breakfast the next morning. When they came back from the train, she had hidden herself behind the curtains of her bed and hadn't come out since. Lisa barely waited for the food to appear, when she leaned over and told Marlene she'd go and check on her. She felt guilty for making Lily suffer, but the girl was refusing to deal with reality. Hurrying to the seventh floor, she found her in the dorm, crying. Sitting down on the bed, Lisa stroke her back comfortingly.<p>

"I'm sorry," she said. "But it had to be done."

"He doesn't have to be like that," Lily said into her pillow. "Maybe if I talk to him, I can-"

"Lil. He's a monster."

"He's just confused! Why do you hate him so much!?"

"Because he threatened Remus!" Lisa snapped, regretting it immediately. Lily sat up, staring at her, tears still spilling form her eyes.

"What?"

Lisa sighed and told her about that November day in the Library.

"You didn't see him, Lily," she said darkly. "When Snape... that day, when he threatened him, you didn't see the twinkle in his eye, the twisted _pleasure_ he was getting out of it." The sheets crumpled in her fist. Just the memory of it was enough to make her sick. "I don't know what happened to me. I'd never seen Remus like that before... so white faced, so... scared. It... it broke something inside of me. Now every time I see Snape, all I want to do is strangle him. I just... can't forgive him for that. He hides that side of himself from you, but that's who he really is. A Death Eater."

The two of them were silent for a long while.

"I know you're right," Lily admitted quietly. "I've always known, deep down. But he was my best friend for _ten years_. I couldn't just..."

"I know. But he's not worth your tears, and he's certainly not worth missing out on bacon," Lisa put her hand on the redhead's shoulder encouragingly.

Lily sighed and tried to smile.

"Then I guess I better go and stuff my face," she quipped weakly. "Coming?"

"Not right now," Lisa said. Thinking about Snape killed whatever appetite she had, and the thought of being in the same hall with him made her want to puke. "I think I'll just stay in, take a nap before the first class."

"Okay. I'll see you later," Lily said wiping her tears and walking out with her head held high.

* * *

><p>Lisa woke up to the feeling of being burned alive.<p>

Every last fiber of her being was on fire, every bone, every muscle was crying out in agony. If she could stop screaming for a second, she would ask what was going on, but the pain wouldn't let her think clearly. Soon she didn't even care; all she wanted was for it to stop, for someone to find her, to free her. But the fire didn't let up, the suffering intensified and she was faintly aware she was twisting and turning on the floor of her dorm room. Someone was torturing her, she registered, but it no longer mattered. She prayed for her attacker to kill her already, to end her torment. She would have given anything, _anything_ just to die right there...

Suddenly the pain stopped. Her body stilled, sore and helpless on the floor. She heard faint voices, but she felt so very tired...

She awoke again some time later, tears wetting her pillowcase. She sat up and lifted a surprised hand to wipe them.

"Lisa?" Alice's gentle voice called beside her. She turned to see her and Lily, looking at her with concern, sitting fully clothed on Lily's bed, which was next to hers.

"What happened?" Lisa asked hoarsely and placed a hand over her throat. It was sore and it hurt when she swallowed.

Alice and Lily exchanged glances.

"Does anything hurt?" Lily asked. Lisa shook her head. She was just tired, but as long as she didn't move, or speak, she felt fine.

"Marlene is doing some damage control downstairs," Alice said quietly. "Frank and some others were worried about you. The whole house is... everyone is getting restless..." she trailed off, sharing another glance with Lily.

"Why?" Lisa managed to say.

"You... were tortured. Right here," Lily explained as gently as she could. "Someone... someone put the Imperius curse on... on Mary."

Lisa's face was screwed up in a frown. It didn't take a genius to guess who that 'someone' was, or why they cursed her.

"Where is she?"

"With Professor McGonagall," Lily said quickly. "The teachers are trying to figure this out, but..."

The three girls exchanged grim looks. They all knew tracing an Imperius Curse was impossible. At that moment Marlene walked in, sighing deeply.

"Lisa!" she exclaimed with relief, seeing her awake. "Are you okay?"

Lisa nodded and tried to get up, but groaned as her muscles burned painfully. Alice and Lily jumped from the bed and helped her stand up.

"My limbs are just a bit stiff," she croaked and tried to give them a reassuring smile.

"I guess I should go and tell them. Some people can be so impatient," Marlene rolled her eyes playfully. "Are you sure you don't need anything?" she added in a softer voice.

"Something for the throat would be nice," Lisa said weakly.

"I'll brew you something right up," Lily volunteered, letting go of her carefully and digging through her things for the potion supplies.

"Thanks. Marlene, I know it's a bit much, but can you... tell Dorcas? I think she'd want to know," Lisa asked. Marlene hesitated for just a second, but nodded with a faint smile and exited.

* * *

><p>"You should be resting!" Lily insisted stubbornly the next morning.<p>

The others already left for class, assuming Lisa would stay in bed, but Lily knew better. Lisa threw her schoolbag over her shoulder and bit down a moan. Being an athlete, she knew this pain well. While the curse hadn't inflicted any actual physical harm to her, the rapid contraction of nearly all of her muscles left her so sore, even the simplest move would threaten to bring tears to her eyes. But she refused to let them know that.

"I have to do this, Lily! Stop mollycoddling me!" she said irritably, opening the door to the empty common room.

"No one would blame you if you took a day off, it happened just yesterday," Lily followed, but both of them stopped, as someone moved at the foot of the staircase and Remus Lupin stood up to look at them.

"Lisa," he said breathlessly. "I just... Marlene said you were doing fine, but I wanted to... are you okay?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Lisa grumbled and started down the stairs. "I got tortured. It's over. I'm fine."

"You know it's not a simple as that!" Lily snapped. "You're still in pain, and you're barely walking. Just stay in and rest!"

Remus' eyes widened in surprise and he shot Lisa a quick accusatory glance.

"I won't let them have the satisfaction!" Lisa wheeled to face her friend. "I won't let them think they've broken me!"

The room fell silent.

"No one will think that..." Lily tried to say gently.

"They didn't!" Lisa screamed, burying her head in her hands. "They didn't break me!"

But she knew that was a lie. She never did ask how long she was crying in agony on the floor, but the moment she'd wished for death, she knew they had won.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, as her body shook with violent sobs. A pair of warm arms wrapped around her, and she wanted to push them away, to tell them she didn't need, didn't want protection. That she wasn't scared. But she knew it would be just another lie. So she continued to sob softy into the black robes.

"Take care of her?" Lily whispered softly and Remus nodded. The redhead squeezed Lisa's shoulder lightly and left.

Remus led her slowly to the couch and helped her sit down. She curled like a cat next to him, face still buried in his robes. He stroke her arm soothingly, not saying anything. Eventually her sobs died down.

"I wanted to die," she said. "If I could speak, I would have begged her to kill me." She felt so bare saying those words, so incredibly vulnerable. His embrace tightened around her, but again he said nothing. She didn't feel like he needed to.

"Why is it you always seem to get yourself in harm's way?" he asked softly after a while.

"Because I can't keep my mouth shut," she replied. "And because Snape hates me."

"He wouldn't hate you if you stopped hexing him," Remus pointed out.

"I wouldn't hex him, if he stopped harassing you!"

"I don't want you making enemies for my sake. I can take care of myself."

"... I know that," she said, barely above a whisper. "I just... can't help it."

They were quiet again for a bit.

"You'll be the death of me, you know that?" he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"You think Snape might try something on you?"

"No, but worrying what he'll try on _you_ next will get me into an early grave!"

"So don't worry."

"Now I can't help that."

Her heart fluttered a bit at his words.

"I suppose we're stuck then," she said. "But I'll try not to land myself in the Hospital Wing in the future. You know, in the interest of keeping you _out_ of the grave."

He chuckled lightly.

"Now that you mention it," he reached down into his school bag, and pulled out a tangerine. "I... actually have something for you."

Lisa stared at it curiously, as he made it hover in front of them with a wave of his wand. It came to life and tried to sing _'The Entertainer'_, another Billy Joel song. Unfortunately, the effect was somewhat ruined, as the fruit often mixed up, or flat out forgot the words. Lisa chuckled in Remus' chest.

"Sorry," he said, after the performance was done. "The charm was a bit more difficult than I thought it'd be..."

"This song isn't from your mum's album. I thought you hated Billy Joel."

"I never said that."

"You described listening to his music as 'a horror'!"

"But I never said I hated it."

"Hate was implied."

"But _you_ like him."

She looked up at him. He was smiling warmly at her and she felt a familiar tugging in her stomach, a feeling that had been near constant for weeks... They were so close, she could count the specs of yellow in his green eyes, and the sudden impulse to lean in and kiss him was almost overwhelming, but perhaps sensing her idea, he turned away. _'Oh well'_ she thought. Right now, she felt perfectly content to simply be this close to him, and didn't much fancy the idea of possibly ruining it. Closing her eyes, she snuggled more comfortably in his arms and whispered, "Thank you."


	13. What was that bloke's name again?

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

** What was that bloke's name again? **

After History of Magic on Wednesday, Lisa headed to the Library, not wanting to go back to the crowded Common Room. She sat down, carefully avoiding passing the Invisibility Section, as usual. Wanting to unwind a bit after the stressful first days of term, she picked up _**Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charmes**_. Halfway through chapter one, rushed footsteps echoed between the shelves and Dorcas threw her arms around her.

"I heard yesterday from McKinnon," she said breathlessly. "How are you?"

"I'd be better if I could breathe," Lisa croaked, because Dorcas was crushing her windpipe. The Slytherin apologized hastily and backed off.

"You look like hell. Was it that bad?" the dark haired girl said with concern.

"What the torture? No, it only made me feel like I was being burned at the stake."

Lisa expected some sort of quip, but Dorcas only squeezed her hand gently.

"I'm sorry."

"I was sort of expecting it," the Gryffindor shrugged. "There'll be worse things when we leave Hogwarts."

"Maybe. Which is why I want you to keep me in the loop." Dorcas reached into her bag and placed a green notebook on the table.

"You want me to keep a diary?"

"I got Black to show me the charm the Marauders used on the schedules. You write in this one..." she pulled out an identical notebook, but with a red cover. "And it appears in here. Next time something like this happens, I don't fancy learning it from rumors."

"Black? You mean Sirius? Since when are you two so chummy?"

"Since I needed help and he was in my line of vision," Dorcas shrugged. "Speaking of chummy, how are things with Lupin? He wrote in your letter, I know you spent most of winter break together," she added with a mischievous smile. "You've been all depressed since Slughorn's party and I thought the two of you weren't speaking. Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell. We had a falling out after the party, because I pushed too hard. I found out he lived near by, went and apologized and everything is fine now."

"What falling out?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Did something happen?"

"Please, Cass. I'm tired, I'm still sore all over and all I want to do is relax with a good book."

"...Alright."

Dorcas pulled out her unfinished Defense Against the Dark Arts essay and quietly scribbled next to her.

* * *

><p>When Lisa left the Charms classroom the next Tuesday, someone was waiting for her outside.<p>

"Hey Lisa," the tall blonde said.

"Hi," she replied, struggling to remember if she'd met him before. He looked familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"So, um, you're free Friday, right?"

"What?"

"On Friday. Your friend Alice said you only have one class. So the rest of the day you're free?"

"Uh... I guess?"

"Great! I'll pick you up after, then!" he said hastily and ran off.

She gaped after him. Pick her up for what? And who was he?!

"Was that Seth Tenley?" Marlene asked behind her.

"I don't know. Was it?" Lisa said confused.

"It was," called Alice. "And I think he just asked you out."

"Oh, you'd make such a cute couple!" Marlene squealed.

"Who'd make a cute couple?" asked Lily, exiting the classroom with Mary, who was still awkward around Lisa, despite the fact she had told her it wasn't her fault.

"Lisa and Seth Tenley. He just asked her out," Marlene informed her, as the girls made their way through the crowd to their next class.

"What did you say?" Lily turned to Lisa with a strange look.

"Um... I think I might've accepted," she said, still confused. "He just said he'd pick me up after Care for Magical Creatures and ran off! He didn't say anything about it being a date!"

"It was implied," said Alice.

"But I didn't know what I was agreeing to!" Lisa protested. "He said you told him my schedule, by the way! When did that happen?"

"He asked me in the corridor, I couldn't just say no," Alice replied sheepishly and Lisa groaned.

"What's the big deal? He's cute and a prefect. Can't hurt to go out with him," Mary chimed in, looking at her feet.

"If your heart's not in it, I don't think you should," Lily said knowingly.

"Aw, come on! Lisa's been out with like three blokes in her life! Let her have a bit of fun!" Marlene insisted.

"I just think that there's someone... better... for you out there," Lily gave Lisa a meaningful look. Ever since Lisa told her about Snape and the Library, Lily had put one and one together and figured out Lisa's feelings for Remus. Not that it was that hard.

"Well, unlike the 'you and James' situation, no one _better_ has proclaimed their love to me," Lisa pointed out.

"Some things don't need to be spoken," Lily said simply.

* * *

><p>"Today class, we shall be studying the most interesting creature," Kettleburn said with delight in the next Care for Magical Creatures class. "This is the first time I've been able to bring them into Hogwarts, but I assure you I have it completely under control," he added, gesturing to the big trunk in the front of the classroom. It shook menacingly.<p>

"Now, before we start, who here can produce a corporeal patronus?"

Some of the students exchanged confused glances, and less than half raised their hands. The charm had been made part of their curriculum in Defense Against the Dark Arts, as Voldemort was rumored to be amassing an army of dark creatures, but not everyone could master it.

"Right then. Those who can, cast the charm now. Those who can't... stick close to your friends."

Remus took a small step towards Lisa.

"You really can't?" she asked curiously. He shook his head with a small smile. "Damn. I was hoping I could hide behind yours," she sighed.

"Why?"

"Because... my patronus is... well, you'll see," she said uneasily and performed the charm. A shiny rabbit sprang forth and hopped happily around the two Gryffindors.

"A bunny?" Remus asked amused. "What's so bad about that?"

"It's... it's just... so _weak looking,_" she admitted, embarrassed. "I was so excited to learn this charm, hyped up about it like you wouldn't believe... then this fellow popped out and... well, I had hoped for a big animal, you know, a _protector_. And what I got..." she gestured towards her patronus with a sour smile. "Let's just say a _rabbit_ wouldn't exactly be my first choice," she finished.

"It's not the shape and size that determines how strong your patronus is. I'm sure it'll keep us both safe," Remus reassured her. She managed to give him a more genuine smile.

"And now, for the big reveal!" Kettleburn said theatrically, opening the trunk with one swift motion. And out of it came... a bunch of flying black blankets.

"I got them from a fellow I knew in Borneo. They are called Lethifolds and in my opinion, they make excellent pets and lovely window curtains! Just make sure to put them back in their box, before you go to bed, as they have a tendency to try to eat you. Now, the Lethifold feeds mostly on mammals, so we'll try feeding them today."

With one swift motion, Kettleburn pulled the cover from a bucket in the corner, revealing to the students' horror and disgust it was full of dead rats.

"Now, each of you grab a rat and give it to the Lethifold. Be careful though, if you get too close, it might wrap around and suffocate you," he said jovially, distributing the dead animals. Most students preferred to throw it from a distance, which seemed to work out well.

"Old Kettleburn's lost it," Lisa murmured to Remus. "He could get us all killed, if even one of those gets loose!"

"That's why he had us cast patronus charms. They work as well on them as they do on Dementors," he whispered back.

"Keep your voice down! If he hears you next thing you know he might think _they_'ll make 'excellent pets' and guards for your home!"

Remus tried to stifle a laugh, but failed miserably. Kettleburn eyed them with scrutiny.

"If you could pick, what would your patronus would be?" he continued in a lower voice, as she picked up a rat and threw it at the Lethifold, which made a disgusting munching sound as it enveloped it in its... folds.

"I don't know... I suppose a lion would be cool..." she replied uncertainly.

"I bet no Gryffindor's ever thought of _that_ one before," he quipped lightly, picking up one of the juicer rats. "It's supposed to be something that suits your personality. So in your case, a sentient firecracker."

"And what would yours be? A Smart-Answering Quill?" she snarked back, making him snigger again, and Kettleburn was about to scold them when one of the Lethifolds got a hold of Evelyn Foss and the whole class had to concentrate their few patronuses on helping her.

* * *

><p>After the lesson, Lisa and Remus chatted about what kinds of pets they would like to have (other than Dementors and Lethifolds) as they were leaving the classroom, when Seth descended on them from the left and grabbed Lisa's hand.<p>

"Ready for our date?" he asked, grinning widely. She was uncomfortably aware that Remus was right next to her.

"Listen Seth, about-"

"You'll tell me later. We have to hurry, while the coast is still clear," he interrupted and dragged her off without another word, leaving a bemused Remus to stare after them.

"Seth, wait!" she tried to say, as he was pulling her down the corridor and up a few flights of stairs, but he didn't stop until they found themselves in front of the statue of Gregory the Smarmy.

"You're going to love this, I promise," Seth grinned and pulled out his wand.

"Seth, _stop_!" she pulled on his sleeve, finally making him look at her. "Listen to me. When you asked me out... I kinda didn't realize you were asking for a date." His smile faded somewhat.

"Is there someone else? Alice swore you were single-..."

"I am. There's just..." she looked down in embarrassment. "There's this guy and... I sort of like him..."

"Has he asked you out?"

"Uh, no... but-"

"So what's the problem? Am I not good-looking enough?"

"Seth, this isn't about looks-"

"Then what's it about? That guy hasn't asked you out, but I did."

"I don't even know you!"

"That's what dates are for, right?" his face brightened up again. "All I'm asking for is a shot. Maybe you'll like me more than him after this." She gave him a skeptical look. "Come on, one date. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me."

She looked at the hand he offered her and hesitated. One date didn't mean any kind of commitment, after all, and she wasn't lying to him; she told him straight up she had feelings for someone else. And it wasn't like that _someone_ would do anything about it, with all of his secrets and turning away... Actually, maybe this could be just the push he needed to get him over that hurdle. And it could be fun.

'_What the hell,'_ she thought, as she placed her palm in Seth's.

* * *

><p>Remus was sitting in the Common Room with his friends, trying to concentrate on his textbook, but it wasn't working. As much as he was trying to relax and appear calm, he couldn't sit still and fidgeted with the corners of the page nervously. Not to mention he was so conflicted, he wondered how he hadn't developed schizophrenia by now. He tried not to think about it, but it just kept drifting to the forefront of his mind. When he saw Tenley just take her away right from under his nose, there was this powerful, frightening instinct inside him to reach for her other hand and tell the Hufflepuff to back the hell off. He couldn't even believe how close he was to doing that, how close to the edge she brought him. He wasn't supposed to think of Lisa like that, it was impossible, unattainable, out of the question. Yet despite all of his force of will, his eyes slid over the words on the page in front of him without comprehending the meaning, and his mind was painting him unwanted pictures of her and Tenley down some dark school hallway... Remus felt a little sick. Trying desperately to find <em>anything<em> to distract himself with, he threw a glance around the common room. All the sixth year girls were gathered on a table near by, all but Lisa, and he realized with a painful pang this was a bad move. Everything in the damned room reminded him of her, and was it him, or was Lily giving him sympathetic glances from time to time?

"What's the matter with Moony?" James asked, looking up form his broom polishing. Sirius threw a glance at the girls' table and immediately saw the problem.

"Oi, McKinnon! Where's Fawley tonight?"

Alice and Marlene exchanged glances and giggled.

"She's got a date," the latter said with a smirk. Sirius shot Remus a quick glance, but he was still hiding behind the book.

"A date? Who with?"

"Seth Tenley asked her out on Tuesday."

"Seth Tenley? That scrawny Hufflepuff bloke?"

"He's not _scrawny_, she's just slim! Don't let jealousy make you bitter, Sirius!"

James looked at each of his friends in turn.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Sirius and Peter exchanged worried glances, and Remus stubbornly staid behind the hard cover of the book.

"It's Fawley," Sirius said after a little hesitation. "Moony's got a thing for her."

"What?" James moved his eyes from Sirius to Remus. "Is this true?"

Remus was quiet, which was all the proof James needed.

* * *

><p>Around 11:30, the portrait hole swung open and Lisa walked in. She glanced at the chairs near the window, where the Marauders were sitting, but Remus didn't look up.<p>

"Tell us _everything_!" Marlene insisted, pulling her over to the table where the rest of the girls were waiting.

"It was... okay," Lisa said awkwardly. "He took me to Hogsmeade." Marlene, Alice and Mary gasped. "Yeah, he found a secret tunnel behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy. We went for a walk and then t-"

James snorted loudly.

"The statue of Gregory the Smarmy... that's the most obvious passage in the entire school."

Lisa stared at him in disbelief, but Marlene rolled her eyes.

"What's it matter? What's important is that they had a good time. Did you go to madam Puddifoot's? It's _the_ dating spot."

Lisa was about to answer, when James interrupted them with another sneer.

"That tosser can't show a girl a good time, even if he danced around just with McGonagall's hat on."

"Don't insult him!" Lisa stood up angrily. "What did he ever do to you?"

James laughed again joylessly.

"I'm not the one going out with him. If you want to subject yourself to being with such a pathetic excuse for-"

"_He's_ pathetic!?" she shouted, enraged. "At least _he_ doesn't wind up in detention every other day, because the girl everyone knows he has _zero_ chance with hexed him for the millionth time!"

The whole Common Room was quiet, having become spectators in their screaming match. James' face went white, and he stood up. For a second she thought he might hex her, but he just picked up his broom and marched right into the dormitory. The door closed with a loud slam and Lisa sank back down in her seat. She didn't mean to say that, and she knew she had crossed a line, but it baffled her why James would even dislike, let alone insult Seth. He wasn't a bad guy, and she actually did have a bit of fun with him.

* * *

><p>Quidditch practice on Monday was just awful. James preferred to pass to Fleet, even if Lisa was in the perfect position to score and he barely looked at her the whole time. She tried to apologize to him in the locker room after, but he just ignored her. This continued for a whole week until Thursday, when the students were leaving the dungeons after Potions. Being preoccupied, Lisa almost bumped into him at the door.<p>

"Sorry," she mumbled, but he ignored her again and walked by without even looking at her.

"Hey Potter, what's the matter with your ears?" Dorcas called, and Lisa groaned internally. She hadn't gotten around to telling her yet.

James stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly.

"One 'sorry' isn't enough, when it comes from a slag."

Dorcas drew her wand, and so did Sirius.

"I've fancied a duel with you for a while, Meadowes," Sirius said with a smirk, but there was a dangerous edge in his eyes. "Though I imagined it under more friendly circumstances."

"Sounds good," Dorcas shrugged. "Just hold up until after Potter apologizes."

James looked like he would rather swallow slugs than apologize, staring daggers into Lisa.

"I don't want to have to send you to the Hospital Wing, but-" Sirius started.

"But I'll come visit you anyway. I'll bring you some nice flowers. Do you like begonias?" Dorcas finished for him. Lisa put a hand on her shoulder.

"James, I've already said I'm sorry. I was out of line. What more do you want from me?"

"James..." came a quiet voice behind them, and they turned to see Lily, looking at him more gently than she ever had. "This grudge you're holding is pointless. I promise I won't hex you anymore. Let it go."

He gaped at her. She almost never addressed him by his given name, and had never spoken to him in a tone so devoid of hostility or sarcasm. The glare in his eyes lessened significantly and for a moment, it seemed like he would listen to her.

"It's not just about that," he said stubbornly.

"What are you trying to accomplish with this?" Remus said calmly. James' eyes lingered on him, carefully studying his expression. "She apologized. It's over."

"Fine," James said finally. Sirius and Dorcas lowered their wands slowly and the Marauders walked away.

Unfortunately, when the Gryffindors reached the Herbology Greenhouses for their next lesson, Seth Tenley caught up to them. Lisa groaned, audibly this time, told her friends to go on ahead, and turned to intercept him.

"Hey Lisa," he said, grinning like an idiot.

"What is it?" she cut him off hastily.

"I had a lot of fun last week. Wanna do it again?"

"Seth, you said one date. We had it."

"Was it a bad date?"

"No, but-"

"Was it boring?"

"Seth, you're not listening-"

"You're not saying anything I want to hear. You had a good time with me, but you're cutting me off. Why?"

"You know why." She looked at her feet. "We did it once, it was fun. But I don't... I don't want to _use_ you."

"That guy's still on your mind, huh?" She nodded. "Then let me work on getting him out! What do you say?"

"No, Seth. I'm saying no."

She turned around and started for the greenhouses, but he caught her sleeve.

"Why not?"

"_Why not?_" Lisa whipped around, starting to get annoyed. "I have feelings for someone else! That doesn't bother you?!"

"He doesn't have feelings for _you_," Seth said evenly, almost causing her to wince. "Or he would've done something about it. Am I wrong?"

She stared at him, not knowing what to say. It stung to hear those words, but the small voice in the back of her head agreed.

"What's the point of waiting for him to come around? For all you know, he never will. Why not give someone else a chance?"

Lisa was silent again. He was hitting bullseye after bullseye and she had no idea what to answer him.

"Maybe this will help you decide," Seth said, grabbed her forearms and kissed her.

It wasn't a bad kiss, but it felt... it just felt _wrong_. Like she was betraying Remus. It only lasted a second, before she pushed him off her.

"Well?"

"Don't do that again," she hissed venomously. He immediately threw up his hands defensively.

"Whatever you say. I'll let you do the snogging next time."

She threw him a half-angry, half-disbelieving look and walked away.

* * *

><p><em>AN:_

_I spent like three hours doing research on animal totems, spirit animals and patronuses, so I can pick a compatible one for Lisa. Why the Rabbit? They are associated with Spontaneity, __Intuition__, __Overcoming Fear__, __Quick-thinking__, __Taking chances__ and Nurturing, all of which are important to her character._

_It really was a very interesting character study. And am I the only one that wants a lion? I can't be.  
><em>


	14. Butterfly wings can't buy love

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

** Butterfly wings can't buy love, although they _are_ delicious. **

Remus tried for all he was worth to stay out of it.

He willed himself to listen to Professor Sprout, but his eyes kept darting to the left, where Lisa was talking with Seth Tenley on the other side of the glass. He appreciated that James cared enough for him to get mad, but that really wasn't what he wanted. Remus thought it through carefully and knew he would never make a move on Lisa, despite his friends' insistence, and she had the right to look for someone else. He glanced at them again and Tenley was grinning. It was a good thing, Remus told himself again, trying once more to focus on Professor Sprout. If she found someone to make her happy, that was good. Because he could never be that person.

He glanced at them again, and they were kissing. Remus felt like someone blindsided him in the stomach with a cold, spiky mace. Then he saw she was trying to push him away. _He was forcing himself on her_. Angler bubbled inside him instantly, so hot it almost blinded him and he stood up abruptly, not noticing the Venomous Tantacula vine creeping behind him, which wrapped around his neck and tried to strangle him. Luckily, Sirius reacted immediately, hitting it with a severing charm. In between coughing and assuring his friends he was fine, Remus stole another look at the glass. Tenley was heading back to the castle, and Lisa was walking towards the greenhouses, an angry expression on her face.

* * *

><p>"Leave me alone, Seth!" Lisa said irritated the next day, as he followed her through the last three floors.<p>

"Come on Lisa, how long do I have to beg?" he slammed his hand on the wall, trying to block her way.

"Beg all you want, it's not happening!" she hissed, glaring daggers into him.

"So I made a mistake, how was I supposed to know you'll take it like that?" She kept glaring. "Look, I said I'll leave it to you next time. I thought it would be romantic!"

She rolled her eyes and slipped under his arm.

"You had fun with me and you know it!" he caught up.

"Why are you so relentless?!"

"Because I'm a Hufflepuff. I work hard for the things I want."

"I'm not a thing!" she snapped.

"You know what I mean!" Seth grabbed on to her hand and spun her around, this time cornering her from both sides against the wall. "I had a good time with you and I want to do it again. And I know you're only turning me down because of some irrelevant reason."

"It's not irrelevant," she growled. "Get away from me, or I'll hex you."

"If you wanted to do that, you'd be free already," he smirked, despite her hostile glare. "You do like me. Don't deny it. I heard you defended me in front of Potter."

"I did that, because he was acting like a prat for no reason! It doesn't mean I-"

"It means you think I'm a good guy. And you're not wrong. We're both unattached and we both enjoy each other's company. Go out with me again."

She knew he was bringing up reasonable arguments, but she just couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal when he kissed her.

"No," she said coldly. "Get. Off. Me."

At first, he didn't move a muscle, but then suddenly jumped into the air, hit by a stinging jinx.

"You heard her. Off." Remus said behind him evenly, gesturing with his wand.

"This isn't any of your business, Lupin," Seth said, but moved out of the way.

"It is, when you force yourself on one of my friends," Remus shot back. Lisa went to stand next to him.

"I see," the Hufflepuff said, moving his eyes from one to the other. "Alright then. But think about what I said," Seth winked at her and walked away.

"You okay?" Remus asked, putting the wand away and glaring after him.

"Yeah. He's a bit pushy, but he's harmless. Thanks anyway."

"Sure," he said shortly and they walked together to the Care of Magical Creatures classroom. He tried to stay out of it, but the questions were searing holes through his mind and he slipped. "So... I take it things are a bit on edge between the two of you?"

"Yeah, _on edge_. As in I'll throw him over the edge of the Astronomy Tower when I see him again!"

"That would make dates a bit awkward."

"We _aren't_ dating!" Lisa exclaimed in frustration. "We had _one_ date! One! As in, no more than that, EVER!"

Remus felt as if a little, tiny sun dawned inside him and struggled to contain the smile that spilled on his face.

"Now if only I could get that message through his thick, blonde skull..." Lisa mumbled as they made it to the classroom and sat down on one of the font desks.

"I actually know a handy spell for that," Remus quipped, before he could stop himself. "If you say the word, I could make him think he went out with a Fwooper." She blinked at him once or twice, before erupting in a loud laughter.

"Settle down, please," Kettleburn beckoned in a bored tone. As usual, there was a big basket that moved suspiciously on his desk. "Well, because of the Leithfolds, which Dumbledore tells me were dangerous to bring inside, I have been placed on probation again. So today, we'll be looking at something more... safe," he said and opened the lid of the basket, revealing little balls of ginger fur. A loud '_Awwww'_ came from the girls. "Those are baby Kneazles. Who can tell me the difference between Kneazles and cats?"

Remus immediately raised his hand.

"Although similar in appearance, Kneazles have a very high level of intelligence, compared to the simple house cat and have an uncanny ability to detect suspicious and distrustful people. They can also safely guide their owners home, if they are lost."

"Exactly. Ten points for Gryffindor," said Kettleburn. "Now my friend's Kneazle, Fluffykins, had babies recently. Usually, they have about eight in a littler, and we have seven, so you'll have to partner up, feed and brush them."

Everyone came forward to receive a kitten, a brush and bottle of milk, and students were very exited to actually be handling something that wouldn't kill them if their attention drifted for five seconds. When it was Remus and Lisa's turn, she got the brush and bottle, but he seemed to hesitate at the basket.

"It doesn't matter which one you pick," she told him over his shoulder. "They're all equally adorable."

"Right," he said with a strained voice and reached in uncertainly, as if expecting the animals to attack him. They didn't, and he carried the little Kneazle to their desk so carefully, as if it were made of glass.

"There," she handed him the bottle with a smile. "You don't have to be so nervous, they don't even have teeth yet."

"Intelligent creatures like them tend to... avoid me," he smiled tersely.

"I guess that would explain why your best mates have dung for brains," she joked.

"I'm sorry about James," he said, placing the bottle in the kitten's mouth.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. I did push the 'forbidden button', it wasn't like I was shooting blindly. But come on, don't you ever want to tell him to shut up about Lily? He talks about her _all the time_!"

The corners of Remus' mouth twitched upwards.

"You'd think with the war and N.E.W.T.s approaching he'd have more to talk about than how shiny Lily's hair is," he admitted.

Lisa giggled loudly again, receiving a reprimanding look from Kettleburn.

"Need I remind you, that this is a _class_, and not a comedy show?"

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, Seth collapsed in a chair next to his friend Tim Orgen in the Hufflepuff Common Room.<p>

"What happened to you?" Tim asked, barely looking up from the essay he was writing.

"Lisa Fawley."

"That Gryffindor bird?"

"I think I might've been a tad... forward with her. What do you tell a girl to convince her to go on a second date?"

"I don't know," Tim shrugged. "Why don't you try the usual? Flowers and chocolates and such. Valentine's Day is in two weeks, ask her to Hogsmeade. No girl wants to be alone on Valentine's."

"Tim, you're a genius!" Seth exclaimed enthusiastically. "Pass me that quill; I have an order to place!"

"Here," Tim said, giving him a coupon for 20% off at Honeydukes. "My dad's an old friend of Ambrosius Flume; we get a bunch of these over the holydays."

"You are the best friend in the universe!" Seth said gratefully.

* * *

><p>"Seth, this is getting old," Lisa said when he intercepted her on her way to the Library a week later.<p>

"Just hear me out. Two minutes, I swear."

She rolled her eyes but stopped and looked at him expectantly. He pulled out a box from his school bag and gave it to her. She threw him a suspicious glance, but unwrapped it.

"Sugared Butterfly Wings! My favorites," she smiled despite herself.

"Go out with me on Saturday," Seth shot quickly.

"Seth-"

"It's Valentine's Day. You know Lupin won't ask you, so why not spend it with me?"

Her face went red.

"Look,-"

"I know I screwed up a little, but it's either me, or staying alone in your dormitory on the most romantic day of the year. It's not exactly a hard choice."

"But-"

"Just think about it, okay? You can tell me later."

And with that, he turned around and made for the Charms corridor. Lisa stared after him for a few minutes, before snapping out of it and continuing on her way to the Library. When she got there, Dorcas was already waiting.

"Ooh, candy! Isn't it a bit early for that?"

"Not according to Seth, apparently," Lisa said tiredly, sitting down. "He just asked me out again."

"At least this time he brought sweets," Dorcas smirked, reaching for them. "May I?"

"Help yourself," Lisa shrugged indifferently.

"Not to be devil's advocate, but if you dislike him so much, why'd you agree to the first date?"

"I don't _dis_like him. I don't know, I suppose I was... trying to make Remus jealous," she admitted shyly.

Dorcas burst out in laughter. "Did it work?"

"No. All it did was make me feel guilty for using Seth like that. He's really not that bad."

Dorcas rolled her eyes, throwing two wings at once in her mouth.

"He's persistent, I'll give him that. But you know-..."

Dorcas' words were left hanging in the air, when her eyes rolled back into her skull and she fell to the floor.

"_Cass!_" Lisa screamed in panic and knelt down to her friend. She shook her violently and called her name, but the Slytherin remained motionless. Lisa grabbed her wrist and listened intently for a pulse. After the longest minute in the universe, she felt a slight thump beneath her fingers.

"What's all this ruckus?" the vulture-like Librarian Madam Pince walked around the corner of the nearest bookshelf, only to gasp in horror.

Lisa's eyes fell on Dorcas' sugared fingers and widened with realization. Rage thumped deafeningly in her ears, as she grabbed the box of candy and shouted at Madam Pince to take Dorcas to the Hospital Wing. She ran as fast as she could straight to the Charms corridor and without thinking swung the door open and ran right into Professor Flitwick's class. Spotting Seth immediately among the shocked sea of faces, she forgot about her wand and punched him straight on the jaw. He flew back, along with his chair, as Flitwick was squeaking something about points.

"You complete arsehole!" Lisa shouted, beside herself with anger. "Dorcas ate them!" she threw the box at him. "You better tell me what you put in here, or I swear to _Merlin_-"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Seth said defensively.

She lunged at him, but Frank was suddenly behind her, holding her back in an iron grip. In a split second, her wand was out and Frank let go, as a shock of electricity ran between them. Some girls shrieked, as Flitwick was failing miserably to keep control of the students.

"She ate them!" Lisa shouted, returning her attention to Seth, who was still on the ground. "She ate the stupid candy and passed out! _What did you put in them?_"

"Lisa," he said, slowly rising to his feet. "I gave you those butterfly wings as a romantic gesture. They were intended for you and _only_ you, and I promise you, I would _never_ try to hurt you."

She lingered for a moment on his honest face, and her rage subsided somewhat. She still wasn't sure she believed him, though.

"Then where did you get them?"

"Honeydukes! I ordered them by owl post a few days ago! A friend of mine had coupons..." he shot a glance at Tim, who looked like a thief caught in the act.

"Coupons?" Frank's brows knitted and both he and Lisa turned to Tim. "Honeydukes doesn't give out coupons."

"What is going on here!?" Flitwick demanded, finally managing to climb up on one of the desks.

* * *

><p>"What's the news?" Lily asked worriedly, as soon as Frank and Lisa walked in the Common Room. Lisa shook her head, unable to speak, and sank miserably in one of the comfy armchairs.<p>

"It's bad," said Frank, white faced and tired. "Tim still denies any involvement, claiming he really thought the coupons were real. There's no way to prove otherwise, so..."

"But he was definitely involved, directly or not," Lisa called angrily. "Madam Pomfrey says it's... she says the wings were dipped in..."

"A Draught of Living Death," Frank finished darkly. The girls gasped in horror.

"That's notoriously difficult! How did they even-" Marlene started.

"I was the target!" Lisa shouted suddenly, eyes welling up with tears. "Orgen's father's a Death Eater and rots in Azkaban because of my dad, so he wanted to get even. It's not a secret which potions-obsessed git hates me enough to help him poison me!"

Lily looked at the ground sadly. "But it's not fatal, right? A Wiggenweld Potion is fairly simple... that can reverse it."

Frank shook his head. "Slughorn's potions cabinet's been raided. Whoever did this, didn't want anyone to wake up from it anytime soon."

"So... what's going to happen to her?" Alice asked weakly.

"They'll order the ingredients," Frank sighed, "But Moondew petals need to be plucked at a full moon, and by the time it gets here... Madam Pomfrey said Dorcas ingested a large and very potent dose. If she doesn't get the antidote soon..." He shook his head and Lisa's tears overflew and streaked down her cheeks.

"So there's nothing we can do?" Lily asked quietly. No one answered her.


	15. Moondew

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

**Moondew**

Walking to Hogsmeade was the loneliest Lisa felt in the two days since Dorcas was poisoned. Lily and the others offered her to go with them, but she turned them down. Even though they both had different friends, going to Hogsmeade together was something she always did with Dorcas. Lisa remembered with a smile one visit in fourth year, when Dorcas' then boyfriend Corbin Gundry wanted to take her on a date, so he could 'show her' to his two older brothers who worked at Ceridwen's Cauldrons. Dorcas insisted on going with Lisa, which led to a huge argument and by the end of it, Corbin was sporting bright pink hair and a pair of antlers and spoke only in gibberish for two months. Dorcas and Lisa had a great time in Hogsmeade then, raiding Zonko's and planning even further punishment for the poor bloke. She remembered asking Dorcas what he said during that argument to deserve dungbombs stuffed in his pillow, and she simply said, '_Insult me all you want, call me a every name for a slag in the book, but the second you call my best friend a bint, I will destroy you_'.

Lisa wrapped her coat around her tighter and bit back tears. If it was her in that bed, Dorcas wouldn't just sit and wait. And neither would she. While the students were all stuck in the warm cafés snogging with their dates, as it was the pre-Valentine's Day visit, Lisa went around all the potion shops. In J. Pippin's Potions, she got most of the ingredients for a Wiggenweld Potion, but just like Slughorn's supplies, the Moondew was all gone. The wizard behind the counter told her someone bought them all a few weeks ago. She went in all the places she could think of, even to Dogweed and Deathcap, a Herbology store, but it was the same everywhere.

"Let me guess. Someone bought all of it two weeks ago?" Lisa asked the plump elderly witch selling at Dogweed and Deathcap bitterly, already knowing the answer.

"Yes. A young lad, I suspected he'd snuck out from school and was low on his potion supplies. Very courteous young man, do you know him?"

Lisa held back a growl and nodded noncommittally. He was probably a Death Eater, whoever he was, and he and his buddies had made damn sure _everyone_'s potion supplies were low on Moondew. They had people everywhere, even in Gryffindor, as every single Moondew petal in the castle shriveled up and died mere hours before the poisoning. This was well planned and every single loose end was thought of and prevented. Lisa slummed over the counter and buried her face in her hands despairingly. The owl Slughorn ordered would never make it. She hated feeling so helpless!

"It's hopeless..." she muttered under her breath. The Death Eaters were too careful.

"I used to collect Moondew in the woods," the witch said absentmindedly. "But since all those spirits fled to the Shrieking Shack, no one wants to go there anymore. Everyone just orders what they need by owl."

"Wait. Did you just say it blooms in the woods?!" Lisa exclaimed hopefully, her head shooting up.

"Near the Shack, yes. But it's way too creepy. I haven't gone in years!"

A sliver of hope! It was grasping at straws, but at this point, Lisa would take _anything_ she could get. She thanked the sales-witch warmly and ran straight into the Tomes and Scrolls bookstore to buy a lunar calendar. The full moon was on Monday.

* * *

><p>Lisa shivered as she walked through the empty, snow-covered dark streets of Hogsmeade. Even from here, she could hear the howls and weeping of the spirits. She thought to herself it was probably annoying to listen to them go wild every so often. The Shrieking Shack was rumored to be the most haunted building in Britain, and that it was Dumbledore who commissioned it, as something of a 'sanctuary' for violent spirits. Only the Headmaster would be batty enough to realize such an outlandish idea. In third year Lisa tried asking Nealy-Headless Nick if the Hogwarts ghosts go over there to have parties with the spirits, but he only said they keep away from such 'ruffians'. After a bit more coaxing, Nick admitted there were wards around the house, so they actually couldn't even enter it. Lisa didn't see what the big deal was with the Shack, it was probably just full of poltergeists like Peeves that enjoyed making noise only to annoy others. Why were people so frightened by it? But even if the damned building was full of rampaging hippogryffs, Dorcas <em>needed<em> that Moondew.

Lily tried to comfort her back in the Common Room earlier, saying the plant the teachers ordered would come soon, but Lisa knew that it would take a couple of days at the least, and she still had her doubts the owl would get to Hogwarts at all. Maybe it was the paranoia talking, but she worried Snape and his gang would try to stop it from arriving somehow, or get their hands on it before the teachers and ruin the Moondew. He hated Lisa because of the whole Lily thing, but Merlin knew he and the rest of them were itching to get rid of Dorcas for months. They would probably do anything to keep her out of commission, or... or even...

Lisa shook her head to get rid of the dark thoughts. Dorcas would wake up tomorrow. She would make sure of that.

She picked up the pace and quickly approached the Shrieking Shack. Looking around for the silvery spots of light on the ground where the Moondew would bloom, she searched around in circles for about an hour. Just when her limbs were starting to go numb from the cold and she cursed herself for not wearing warmer clothes, she spotted the plant poking from underneath the snow. Hope swelling inside her, she ran to it and carefully picked the petals, placing them in her glass vial. So happy she almost cried, Lisa stood up to head back, when a menacing growl made her blood freeze in her veins. Turning her head very slowly, she saw two yellow-green eyes burning through the darkness. As the creature slowly stepped out of the shadows, the growl intensified and a huge wolf glared at her with almost human blood thirst. Her eyes darted to the short snout and the tail tuft, and Lisa realized with horror that it wasn't an animal. It was a werewolf.

It took another step, making her jerk back frantically and slip on the frozen snow. She was so incapacitated with fear, the thought of using her wand didn't even cross her mind. The werewolf neared more and the sounds from deep within its throat were quickly becoming deafening, as its lips pulled back to reveal two rows of very big and very sharp teeth. Its back legs bended, preparing for a jump and she saw almost in slow motion the monster lunging at her, eyes wild and full of hate. Just as a final, desperate shriek came out of her throat, something hit the werewolf in mid-air, dragging it away from her. She couldn't make out what it was very well, but after a moment it barked at the werewolf, and she realized it was only a big black dog.

Her brain was completely short circuited by this point, and all she could do was watch the beasts struggle, as if in a trance. Jaws snapped in the air, both creatures growling warningly. The werewolf's eyes darted between the dog and its pray, and it suddenly tried to launch forward again, but the dog was in the way in an instant, teeth bared and tail on end. It caught the wolf by the scruff of the neck, trying to draw it father away, but the monster wrenched free and the two engaged in a vicious fight, and all Lisa could see were claws and jaws flashing in the moonlight. Suddenly, a sharp pain in her right hand made her snap out of it. Lisa looked down to see one of her fingers was bleeding and scrambled to stand up, almost crushing the rat at her feet, and a sharp poke in the shoulder finally made her register a stag standing right next to her. Her head was so full of '_what the hell_' that she didn't even question it. The stag knelt slightly, shaking his antlers impatiently and she interpreted it as an invitation. Not forgetting to tighten her grip on the Moondew, Lisa climbed on his back and he galloped fiercely down the path to the village, as the two furry silhouettes were still fighting behind them.

When they were safely on the main street, she got off and inspected the animal curiously. Suddenly, a dog yelp cut through the night and the stag turned his head sharply. He bounded back towards the woods, and for a second she had the insane urge to shout after it to be careful, before quickly realizing animals don't understand English. Then she shook her head at her idiocy, as werewolves were only dangerous to humans anyway, and she needed to make it back quickly to brew the potion, _to save Dorcas_. Lisa turned her back to the woods determinately and made a run for the secret passage.

* * *

><p>"Good heavens girl, what happened to you?" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed with worry on Tuesday morning, as a messy, tired-looking Lisa ran straight into the Hospital Wing.<p>

"I got it!" the Gryffindor cried, waving a flask in her hand. "I got the potion!"

The Healer's scrutinizing eyes went over her muddled appearance, disheveled hair and shadows under her eyes, but the patients were always a first priority. Madam Pomfrey took the magenta-colored potion and lifted it to the light, expecting it thoroughly. She mixed the contents a little, opened the flask and took a whiff. Satisfied with the results of her short test, she shot another sharp look at Lisa, but did not ask questions and rushed over to Dorcas' bed. The Gryffindor followed suit, twisting her loose tie nervously in her fingers. The Healer propped Dorcas' head up gently and poured a few drops into her open mouth. For a few horrifying seconds, nothing happened. Then the brunette's eyes fluttered open and she took a hazy look around the room. Lisa's eyes welled up with tears and she threw her arms around her friend, sheer relief flooding her entire being.

"What... happened?" Dorcas asked groggily.

"There will be plenty of time for explanations later. Right now I need to run a full physical examination on you, to make sure your friend hasn't poisoned you," Madam Pomfrey said firmly and ushered the protesting Lisa out of the ward.

* * *

><p>"It's alright, mate," James tried to say carefully, placing a hand on Remus' shoulder.<p>

The young werewolf shrugged it off violently, knocking down the tray with bandages next to his bed and once again burying his hands in his hair. He pulled and pulled, the physical pain only slightly distracting him from the one in his chest.

"She's fine, Remus," Sirius said quietly. "We were there, no one got hurt..."

Remus let out a sound between a snarl and a sob, shaking his head.

"Nothing is fine... nothing!"

"We wouldn't have let you... you didn't do anything bad..." James tried again.

"Didn't do anything bad?!" Remus growled. "You weren't in my head, James! You didn't want to break her bones with your jaws and taste her blood! You didn't want to bite her, to hurt her... to rip her to shreds." The last words were barely above a whisper. His whole body shook violently, as he buried his face in his knees, covering the head with his arms.

The Marauders exchanged worried glances. They all knew there was no point in reasoning with him right now. The first day of the cycle was always the worst, after all.


	16. Julie

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

**Julie**

"Good morning, Seth," Dorcas said civilly, sitting down next to him on the Hufflepuff table at breakfast.

"Dorcas! You're okay!" Seth exclaimed happily.

It had weighed on his conscience that Lisa's friend got hurt partly because of him, and he was glad the teachers managed to bring her back to normal without much hassle. Suddenly, he felt something sharp against his ribs. Looking down, he saw Dorcas' wand was poking him below the table.

"Let's get something straight," she continued casually, taking a bite out of a piece of toast. "I ate those candies by accident. Which means, you almost killed my best friend. I don't give a toss if you were in on it or not, or if any of your blighter friends are Death Eaters or just idiots. Stay away from Lisa."

"You can't just forbid me to see her!" Seth protested angrily, but the tip of her wand pushed painfully at his side, burning a hole through his shirt.

"Don't test me. Come near her again, and you'll be lying in a hospital bed," Dorcas said matter-of-factly and got up.

He ignored that warning only a few hours later.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Lisa said half-amused, half-irritated, as she and Dorcas were arranging their things on the potions table before class.

"He came too close," Dorcas shrugged.

"Did you have to be so excessive about it?"

"He deserved it!"

"You removed the bones in his legs!"

"He should've used them to walk the other way."

At that moment, Slughorn entered the dungeon and effectively ended the argument. He began a long-winded speech on the potion they were making today, Amortentia, an extremely potent love potion.

"The potion needs to be taken regularly, or its effects will eventually wane," he said, lifting the lid from the big cauldron in the middle of the room. An irresistible mixture of aromas filled the dungeon almost immediately. "It smells differently, to whoever inhales it. Miss Meadowes, will you tell us what you smell?"

Dorcas screwed up her face in concentration.

"Hm... to me it smells of... autumn leaves... Peppermint Toads... what I think is wood smoke, and... I can't tell what the last one is."

Lisa took a deep breath. She recognized immediately the smell of her favorite broom polish and of old library books and... and the smell of Remus Lupin's robes. Her face went beet red and she chanced a look at him. He had been avoiding her gaze lately.

Remus was gripping the edge of his table so hard his knuckles were turning white, and his whole body was shaking.

"Sir, I don't feel so well," he spoke up suddenly. "May I go to Madam Pomfrey?"

He was well aware his friends were giving him concerned looks, but he didn't care. Slughorn regarded him carefully.

"Yes, you do seem quite pale, Lupin. You can go, but you'll be missing out on quite the lesson..."

Remus hurriedly stuffed his things in his bag and almost ran out of the dungeon. He had to get away from there, away from that suffocating smell, away from _her_. When he put a sufficient distance between himself and the classroom he stopped to catch his breath, leaning against the cold stone wall. And right then and there, it dawned on him. A realization so powerful, yet so simple and obvious, it nearly brought him to tears. He loved her.

* * *

><p>"Hey Sirius," Lisa greeted cheerily, as he jogged down the Fifth Floor Corridor towards her on Friday night. After Dorcas got that detention for hexing Seth, his name appeared next to hers on the Defenders' schedule.<p>

"Hi," he said, "Sorry for being a bit late..."

"It's fine," she smiled, as they started down their route.

"So, what happened to Meadowes? Her name was off the schedule this afternoon."

"She hexed Seth and got detention. Can't blame her, really, after what he put her through."

"So it's safe to say his chances with you went down the drain?" he grinned.

"He never _had_ a chance," Lisa grumbled. "He begged me for a date, said 'what could it hurt?', so I went for the hell of it."

"I didn't know you went out with blokes 'for the hell of it'."

"You don't know everything about me! And... it's nice to be asked, you know?" She looked down at the floor. "But for the record, that was a huge mistake and I'll only go out with people I have feelings for in the future," she added firmly.

"Good to hear that," he smirked. As they passed by the boy's bathroom, he stopped and inclined his head towards the door. "Best peak in there. I had a pig piece of Sheppard's pie at lunch, so try not to be attacked while my pants are down."

Lisa rolled her eyes, but smiled and leaned against the wall to wait. After a couple of minutes, someone came out from behind a painting further down the corridor. Her wand was out and her body straightened, but the other person just slowly approached. When his face was lit up by the torches, Lisa's eyes narrowed to slits.

"What do _you_ want?" she snarled. The thin smirk on his face made her extremely unsettled.

"Me? I want to _help_ you," Severus Snape drawled, circling her slowly.

"Because we're such good friends?" Lisa said sarcastically, keeping her back close to the wall, never letting him get behind her.

"How was your little excursion to Hogsmeade?" he said out of nowhere.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? If I am not mistaken, _you_ made the potion to wake up Meadowes... and Moondew can only be picked at a full moon... you didn't run into anyone... or any_thing_ out there?"

He knew, Lisa realized in horror. Somehow, he knew what happened in the woods that night.

"What are you playing at?"

"Come on, Fawley, even your dried up brain should've seen the patterns by now. You ran into a _dear friend_ out there, didn't you?"

"Say what you've come here to say and sod off!" she glared at him.

"Fine then. I will speak plainly, so even you can understand." He came uncomfortably close to her, so close she could feel his breath on her skin and whispered, "You saw Lupin."

She gave him a skeptical look. "If you're going to make up lies, you should really try better than that."

"You really are a twat!" he snapped, the self-satisfied smirk giving way to his usual scowl. "Didn't it ever seem strange to you how he always disappears when the moon starts to get full? How he becomes pale and irritable as it gets closer?"

"He's just sick!" she spat. "A lot of sicknesses resurface often!"

"Always at the full moon?! Rub together what few brain cells you have!"

The door to the bathroom swung open and Snape quickly disappeared into whatever passage he used before.

"Yep, no Death Eaters in there," said Sirius jokingly. "You okay? They didn't pass while I was in there, did they?"

"No," Lisa said slowly and the two of them continued down the corridor. She debated with himself whether she should tell him what just happened. She opened her mouth to do just that, but some twisted instinct made her say something different at the last second. "So, um... how's Remus? He was absent again on Monday, and he seems a bit out of it lately. Was he sick again?"

"No, he was visiting his mother," Sirius shot quickly. "She has the same thing, poor woman. He has to go home sometimes to look after her, with his dad being so busy and all."

"His mother, huh? What's wrong with her?" Lisa asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"Oh, you don't want to know the grisly details. Suffice it to say she's sick most of the time. Almost an invalid, actually."

Lisa's hands balled into fists to stop them from shaking. Hope Lupin was in excellent health, and according to Grandma Fawley, was a very able bodied woman, walking the whole distance between the Lupin's cottage and the town of Low Row at least a few times a week.

Sirius was lying.

* * *

><p>Lisa was trying to do her homework with Lily, Marlene and Mary in the Common Room on Saturday, but her eyes were just sliding over the words. She kept glancing at the Marauders, who were probably planning some sort of prank in front of the fireplace. Her gaze fluttered to Remus' eyes and it suddenly struck her how similar they were to that... <em>monster<em> that attacked her. She had tried to tell herself it was only Snape spewing vile just to spite her, still sore that Lisa crushed his last chance with Lily, a chance he didn't even know existed. Not to mention that the whole Death Eater pack had wised up to the fact students seemed to randomly catch them in the act of torturing muggle-borns lately, and she and Remus were the only ones they knew for sure to be involved. So the thought _did_ occur to her that Snape was just trying to drive a wedge between them, but last night after everyone was asleep she pulled out her lunar calendar. The Slytherin was right, every instance of him being gone she could remember aligned itself with the full moon. He was pale, his friends lied for him, he avoided meeting her glance since that night and his own eyes were so similar to the beast... she didn't want to believe it, but everything lined up too perfectly...

"May I borrow that for a moment?"

Lisa turned around to see that Remus had tapped her on the shoulder and was asking for her quill. She nodded quickly and handed him the one she was holding. As he took it, their hands touched and she felt a spark going through her, sending her flying to her feet. It wasn't the usual pleasant sensation she got whenever they touched.

It was fear. And it was disgust.

She quickly mumbled something about the Library and ran out through the portrait. She was ashamed of feeling this way, but the simple truth was that she'd never look at him the same way again.

Turning a corner, Lisa stopped her run and leaned against the wall to collect her mangled thoughts. She tried to remember that it was still him, that he was still the person he had always been, tried to remember the winter break and how kind he was after she was tortured, and how he held her hand as she lay in the Hospital Wing after that Quaffle exploded... but every time she recalled looking at him now, all she saw staring back were two feral yellow eyes. The kind boy that fed bread to the birds was now replaced by a bloodthirsty beast.

Except… the Remus Lupin she knew would never look at her like that, let alone _attack_ her. Was he pretending all this time? Six years seemed an awfully long time to keep up such an act. Then was he just hiding his violent tendencies? Or did he simply lose his mind during a full moon? They had covered werewolves in class, but it was always about the beast, how to identify it, how to stop it, what it was capable of, never what happened when the moon wasn't full. What was the human side of things? Did they keep their mental faculties while transformed? Did they just get slightly more aggressive? Was it a split personality thing? Did they even remember what they did? There were so many questions! Lisa got up and walked briskly down the hallway. When there was some problem she couldn't solve, one place usually helped.

She was almost running by the time she made it to the Library and went straight to Madam Pince.

"I have an essay to write about werewolves. What books would you recommend?"

* * *

><p>After about half an hour of following the enthusiastic librarian, Lisa sat down with a whole pile of dusty books. Unfortunately, a lot of them weren't very helpful.<em><strong> Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes Don't Deserve to Live<strong>_ for example, stated on the very first page that all werewolves lose their sense of morality even in human form, which was complete rubbish. _**The Werewolf Registry**_ was also one of the most useless endeavors she had ever heard of. Who in their right mind would walk in the Ministry and declare they're a werewolf?! _**Hunting Werewolves**_ she missed entirely, because she had no intention of harming him, werewolf or not. _**The**_ _**Werewolf Code of Conduct**_ was a bit more helpful, in that it was a set of rules all werewolves should strive to follow, but seeing as most of them revolved around locking themselves up during a full moon, Remus obviously hadn't read it (or at least didn't regard it as important). This was another strange thing. Why would a sensible person like him _not_ lock himself somewhere?

Lisa spent the whole weekend like that, leafing through the wide array of books, careful not to attract unnecessary attention to what she was doing. By the next Monday she still had nothing to help her understand the human side of things, save a single sentence in _**Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them**_, saying that 'the otherwise sane and normal' wizard becomes a beast on the full moon, capable of killing his best friend if they happened to be within reach. That didn't sound very encouraging, but... it was _something_, at least.

One Wednesday morning two whole weeks later, she made her way tiredly to the Gryffindor table for breakfast and nearly collapsed next to Lily.

"You'd feel better if you weren't reading all night," the redhead pointed out.

Lisa gave her an incoherent groan as a response and spread some marmalade on her toast.

"Is everything okay with you?" Lily asked again, this time with concern in her voice.

"Yeah, why?" Lisa said absentmindedly, as she made space for the _Daily Prophet_ owl to land.

"You've been... a bit strange around Remus lately. Are things alright between you two?"

"Why wouldn't they be?" Lisa said elusively, hiding behind the newspaper. Lily had probably noticed that she couldn't meet his eyes anymore. She knew it was irrational, but she was afraid it would be the wolf that stared back at her.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I could talk to him, if you want..."

Lisa's eyes glazed over the paper and she dropped her toast. There was movement at the teacher's table and Lily saw McGonagall making her way over with a tense face.

"Lisa?" Lily reached out and gently lowered her friend's hands, which were gripping the paper so hard it wrinkled in her fingers. Her face was pale and she was staring unseeingly in front of her.

"That's my house," she said shakily, and Lily finally noticed the picture on the front page. A burning, half-destroyed manor, with the Dark Mark floating menacingly above it.

* * *

><p>Lisa walked in a trance-like state back to the Common Room. Dumbledore had just called her into his office and told her the news. Her father leaked a list with confirmed Death Eaters the Auror Office had compiled in the <em>Prophet<em>, and they had retaliated. She didn't cry. She knew McGonagall expected her to, but she didn't. It seemed so unreal, so unbelievable...

As she walked through the seventh floor, she could hear people talk. They knew, she thought. They knew her home had been destroyed. They knew her whole family was now hunted by the Death Eaters. They knew a little ten-year-old girl had died.

She climbed through the portrait hole and the whole room went quiet. Remus stood up from his seat as soon as he saw her, his face paler than usual, complete sadness etched across it. Their eyes met for the first time in days, and what she saw wasn't a monster, but the person she loved. Everything from the past few weeks was washed away in an instant, as her vision finally became smudged with tears and she ran straight into his arms. This time, there wasn't even the slightest hesitation in his movements, as he embraced her tightly and just held her, as she broke down.

"I was going... t-to... give her... Filtch's... ch-chains," she sobbed into his chest, barely drawing breath. "She was... coming... to H-Hogwarts next year! She... w-would've been... s-safe!"

His arms wrapped closer around her and he buried his face in her hair. Neither of them gave a damn that the whole house was staring.


	17. Promise me

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

**Promise me**

Lisa and Remus spent the night on the couch in the Common Room.

She didn't peal herself from him all evening, as if holding on to him was the only thing that kept her sane. He was also shaken up over the news, and seeing her so distraught made any notion of pushing her away inconceivable. Frank wasn't taking it very well either. Being an only child and having spent many summers with the Fawley sisters, he came to consider the two of them as the siblings he never had. He sat with Alice in his lap, as she caressed his head lovingly and no one knew what to say to make things better. Eventually, everyone went back to their dorms, but Lisa didn't move, and neither did Remus. She cried many times during the night, and he just stroke her gently, not saying a word.

When morning came, she didn't even attempt to go to lessons, and he stayed with her. James, Sirius and Peter brought them breakfast, but didn't ask questions. Sometime around lunch, he disentangled himself from her and tried to get up.

"Where are you going?" Lisa asked, a tinge of panic in her voice. He gave her a small smile.

"The bathroom. I'll be right back, I promise."

She let him go reluctantly and curled up on the couch, pulling her knees close. When her glance fell at her school bag still on the floor, she reached down slowly and pulled out the green notebook. There was a message on the first page:

_**I heard. You okay?**_

Lisa took out a quill and scribbled below:

_No._

In a matter of seconds, black lines appeared on the paper, forming into Dorcas' words.

_**Anything I can do?**_

_Can you bring back the dead?_

_**I can bring you ice cream.**_

Lisa's gaze softened, but she couldn't bring herself to smile.

_I'm not sure I can make it to the portrait._

_**I'll send it by owl post.**_

_Then I'd have to make it to the window._

_**Then I'll send McKinnon. But she'll probably look to see what it is and eat it.**_

_You don't need to send me anything. Your quips are plenty. _

_**Then I'll be sure to write often.**_

Lisa closed the notebook and held it close to her chest.

"What's that?" Remus asked, sitting back down beside her.

"Dorcas made it," she said, surprised at how hoarse her voice was. She showed the notebook to him, and he nodded in understanding.

"A Protean Charm."

"You really do know everything," she said, leaning against his chest again. He laughed softly and wrapped his arms around her.

"You should know that too, it could be on our N.E.W.T.s."

"Sure, _Professor_." She felt him smile in her hair. "If you could, what subject would you teach?"

"Me? An actual Professor?"

"Why not? Haven't you ever thought what you'd work after graduation?"

"I have... Maybe a Professor position wouldn't be so bad..."

"You could stay here, in Hogwarts... be safe... away from the war..." she said longingly. He pulled back slightly and gave her a strange look.

"Is that what _you_ want?"

She looked away.

"Maybe. What's so bad about that?"

"What happened to joining Dumbledore? Or were you content on fighting only as long as it was relatively safe?"

Her eyes were tearing up again, and he felt guilt over his harsh words, but she needed to hear them.

"At least in here we have a chance!" she cried. "At least here we can sleep without worrying about being killed in our beds! He has too many on his side, and you never know who it might turn out to be! You never know when your best friend might be Imperiused to attack you or tortured into betraying you!"

"Does that mean we should just give up? Submit to his tyranny, muggles and muggle-borns be damned? Let Lily, Mary, everyone else, die?!"

Lisa's body shook with violent sobs and she hid her face in her hands.

"I don't know if I can do this! They killed Julie! They'll kill us all, and I'll lose everyone! Frank, Alice, Lily and James, Peter and Sirius and Dorcas and you... we'll all die!"

"You don't know that," he said firmly, grasping her wrists gently and pulling them down. "There is a risk, yes, but we have to _try_. For Julie and every other innocent like her." Her sobbing stopped and she stared at him in shock at the mention of her sister. "As long as Voldemort is in power, no one is safe and there will be many more victims. People who have nothing to do with the war, muggles, that don't even know what's going on, or children, whose parents offended or refused him in some way. You're not honoring Julie's memory by letting what happened to her become inconsequential!"

She looked at him like he'd just slapped her across the face.

"I'm scared," she admitted quietly. He pulled her back into his embrace.

"I know. But you won't be in this alone. James and Sirius are the best at everything; they always come out on top. And Lily, have you _seen_ her in a duel? Dorcas is no slouch either, not just anyone can perform a Protean Charm. I've been on patrol with both Frank and Alice, and trust me when I tell you, they're both exceptionally skilled. Peter may not be the best duelist, but he's loyal and true. As for me... I've been told I can hold my own."

"Don't die," she whispered, desperately clinging to his robes. "Promise me."

"I promise."

* * *

><p>In the following weeks, Lisa started to hate being alone. Because being alone meant she had a chance to think. Even books, one of her favorite pastimes only seemed to make the silence more deafening. While before she enjoyed spending hours in the Library, leafing through random books and sinking into potion recipes or learning about flesh-eating trees, now just the idea of being by herself for so long terrified her. She stuck like glue to Lily or Dorcas during the day and somehow found herself gravitating to Remus more than usual. Her parents managed to send her an owl, which was still unopened. Frank told her there would be a funeral, but she couldn't bring herself to go.<p>

The nights were the worst. Not only did she have near constant nightmares, the time between saying 'goodnight' and actually falling asleep never passed without at least one fit of sobs. It got so bad, she resorted to casting a silencing charm on the curtains around her bed so she wouldn't disturb the others. Julie kept haunting her dreams often. The little, smiling chatterbox, that jumped on her bed to wake her up or got mad because she dropped her ice cream and blew the bulb of a street lamp... Tears threatened to choke Lisa, just thinking how she'd never gotten around to saying she loved her.

She dreamed of other terrors too. Lily being tortured, Dorcas falling dead to the ground, Frank and Alice, being blown to bits... The grins fading from James' and Sirius' faces, as they were hit by killing curses, and small, nervous Peter, valiantly trying to help, but in the end being too slow... and Remus, wand in hand, crumpling to the ground, his eyes glassy...

Lisa stood up in her bed sharply, a loud scream emitting from her own throat. She broke down into crying again, unable to draw breath. Some desperate madness caught a hold on her and she whipped the curtains open. Carefully standing up on her wobbly legs, she tiptoed to the door as best she could, trying to not wake anyone up. Crossing the common room almost in a run, she climbed the stairs to the sixth year boy's dormitory and opened the door slightly. A beam of moonlight was shining on James' bed, as he was snoring loudly, his glasses flung casually on his nightstand. Sirius's messy black mane was showing from the top of his covers, and the round bundle in the corner bed she guessed to be Peter. The curtains around Remus' bed were drawn.

Lisa slipped between them cautiously and shook his shoulders gently. His eyelids fluttered open, heavy with sleep, only to widen in shock as soon as he registered her presence, and he sat up abruptly.

"Can I stay with you?" she whispered with an involuntary shiver, as tears streaked down her cheeks anew.

If it were under any other circumstances, he would turn her away. But seeing her like this, trembling and crying... it broke his heart. He nodded slowly and she slipped under his covers, inhaling his soothing scent. He hugged her and she snuggled against his chest, dripping tears onto his pajamas. She continued to cry for a while longer, as his thumb caressed her shoulder comfortingly.

Lisa wondered at herself. Crying like a child and hiding in his arms like that, it wasn't like her at all. Remus was right to call her out earlier, she was ready to fight in Hogwarts, but somewhere deep down, she knew none of them would be killed right under Dumbledore's nose. She liked the _idea_ of standing up against Voldemort, but the reality of it had finally caught up to her. Being brave is easy, when the danger isn't staring you in the face. Suddenly, risking her life for nameless people she'd never met didn't seem as appealing anymore. She thought hopefully that she could fight the same way her father was, through words and showing everyone the truth. Then thought back on her nightmare, thought about all of her friends, who would join the fight, even if she didn't. And she asked herself how it would feel to know they were risking everything, even if she wasn't in the front lines. How it would hurt if she learned of their death by seeing the obituaries in the paper, and how the thought that if she were there she could've saved them would crush her. Just like... just like Julie. Her hands balled into fists and her resolve strengthened like cold steel. She wouldn't lose anyone else the same way ever again.

* * *

><p>James woke up and stretched with a huge yawn. '<em>Nothing like a Saturday morning<em>,' he thought to himself with a grin and flung his pillow at the still sleeping Sirius. His mate gave out a low, throaty growl and threw it back, but it only reached the foot of his bed. Putting on his glasses, James got up and sneakily approached Remus' bed, intent on inducing a hilariously loud awakening, by screaming 'Death Eaters!' right in his ear. The yell caught in his throat however, as he flung the curtains open and saw there was one extra body with disheveled blond hair in the bed. Backing away slowly, he shook Sirius violently and put a hand on his mouth when he tried to scream at him to shove off. Inclining his head to the werewolf's bed, James saw realization dawn in Sirius' eyes and he nodded. The two of them dressed quietly and levitated the sleeping Wormtail, along with his clothes, out of there.

* * *

><p>Lisa woke up as the sun shone right in her face. She pulled herself up and the foggy memories of last night flooded her mind. Her face turned red, as she realized <em>she begged him to let her into his bed<em>. Glancing down, she smiled at Remus' sleeping face and remembered her newfound resolve. Crying and shaking in the corner wouldn't help anything. It would be scary and dangerous and not everyone would survive it... but she'd do her best to keep them safe however she could, and if that meant risking her life and taking a curse or two... then so be it. No matter what, she would keep them alive.

She slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake him up and made for the door.

"Aren't you gonna stay for pancakes?" his sleepy voice came from the four-poster as he sat up.

She turned around and gave him a small smile.

"I didn't know you made any."

He chuckled, got out of bed and approached her.

"Are you feeling better?"

She nodded. She knew now her life after graduation wasn't going to be pretty, and she accepted it. Having made a firm decision to fight had somehow lessened her crippling anxiety.

"Then I have a present for you," he said, taking her hand and gently pulling her back to his bed. With a wave of his wand, a big cardboard box slid out from under it. "I ordered it around Christmas, but with everything happening I didn't have much time to work on it."

The box opened and an old gramophone levitated out of it and landed softly on the bed, followed by a few vinyl records. She gaped at him in disbelief, before sliding on the sheets and taking a closer look. He sat down next to her, placed a record labeled _Boston_ on it and tapped it with his wand. The album spun and music poured out of the tube.

"Happy birthday," he said. Her head whipped around to stare at him, and he laughed at her expression. "I couldn't afford a magical one, so... I ordered an old muggle one and enchanted it myself. Sorry I took so long."

"B-but... my birthday isn't for another month," she managed to mumble.

"I know. I just... wanted to cheer you up."

She looked up at him. He was smiling warmly at her in that way that made her heart swell, and his face was so close to hers, their noses were nearly touching... and slowly, without thinking, she closed the distance between them.

There was no desperation this time, no urgency, no angst. Her lips were feather-light and gentle against his, and so warm, so sweet... Remus knew he should pull away, that he shouldn't let this happen. He knew he was giving into temptation, but he was just so tired of resisting... Her hand brushed over his, sending sparks of electricity down his spine and every thought of defense crumbled, as his other hand rose to caress the side of her face. He felt like he would melt into her, like her touch made all of the unpleasant truths about him and about the future wash away, leaving only that warm, beautiful feeling of her lips against his.

After a few blissful moments, they broke apart. She looked at him, and he stared back with a strange expression.

"Let me guess... this isn't a good idea?" she said softly. This would be the part where she would usually get mad, but she was strangely calm.

He didn't say anything. Forgetting the truth didn't make it any less real. He struggled to find the words to explain, to make her understand...

Lisa pulled herself up and got off the bed, as he looked down at the sheets.

"I'm not sure what's going on with you, Remus. Every time I start thinking there could be something between us, you go and do this. I don't know how you got the scars, I don't know why Snape is so obsessed with you, or what you're refusing to do for him, but... I know how I feel about you. And I think it's a damned waste of time to dance around each other like this. If you ever make up your mind about us, you know where to find me."

And with that, she turned around and left the dormitory.

* * *

><p>"Lisa!"<p>

Seth was waiting for her again, as she left the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"Not now, Seth."

"I just wanted to... I mean I heard, and..." He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair. For the first time since she'd known him, Seth Tenley was at a loss for words.

"Over here," she smiled slightly and led him a bit farther down the corridor.

"Are you... doing okay?" he asked.

"I manage."

"Listen, I... I'm sorry for what happened. I hope... I hope the rest of your family is fine."

"Thank you."

At that moment, the Dorcas came around the corner to pick her up for lunch. She spotted them immediately and raised an eyebrow in a silent question, already reaching for her wand. Lisa made a small head shake to reassure her.

"I have to go," she told Seth. She'd barely made two steps, when he called after her.

"Why him?" he said when she turned around. "What does Lupin have that I don't?"

A million answers flew through her mind, but as she smiled, Lisa said simply:

"There doesn't have to be a reason."

* * *

><p><em>AN: If you can guess the song to which Remus and Lisa kissed, __you win ten internets! __:D _


	18. When all else fails, go with chocolate

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

**When all else fails, go with chocolate  
><strong>

Remus was lying awake in his bed again, having another sleepless night.

Those seemed to happen more often than he'd care to admit lately. Not to mention there was hardly a moment the last few days when he wasn't battling himself. He couldn't take notes in class because his mind kept wandering, put the wrong ingredients in his cauldron four times in the last potions class and accidentally turned Sirius's hair into seaweed in transfiguration. James asked him twice if he had indigestion at lunch when he was just sitting there, stealing a look at her from the other side of the table. He hoped he didn't have the same dopey expression James got when he was staring at Lily. His friends noticed what this was all about of course, and told him to get over himself and just ask Lisa out already. Because it's that easy to disregard some pretty important facts! If he were normal, he would do so in a heartbeat, but there were other things to consider! He couldn't just leap into this without looking, or he'd only hurt himself _and_ her. But the most frustrating part was that it was all within his reach. She told him she wanted to be with him, and that alone made him so happy he felt ready to take on a hundred Dementors. All he had to do was go and talk to her. But he couldn't.

Remus sighed and threw off the covers. There wouldn't be any sleep for him tonight. He reached over to his nightstand to take the copy of **_Great Expectations_** he was reading before bed, and headed down into the common room. The place was deserted and he made for the armchair near the fire, when his eyes chanced upon the staircase to the girls' dormitory. His stomach wiggled again. She was so close... if he wanted to, he could freeze the charm on the stairs. If that didn't work, he could always borrow James' broom and fly up to the window...

He shook his head violently, getting red in the face and walked to the chair briskly. What kind of gormless ideas were those?! He couldn't just walk into the girls' dormitory! In the middle of the night, no less! Sirius must be rubbing off on him. But he didn't have to actually go _into_ the dorm to talk to Lisa... He stopped dead in his tracks just before sitting down and turned to stare at the staircase indecisively. He didn't _have_ to tell her he was a werewolf. Not right away, at any rate. They could be together for a little while, and after all, with Voldemort rampaging outside, shouldn't they get whatever happiness they could while still in school? They could have a semi-normal relationship... drenched in lies.

Remus sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. How had he let things get this far? This wasn't supposed to happen, werewolves don't fall inlove with pretty girls. And pretty girls most certainly don't fall inlove with werewolves. This would only end badly, especially for her. And even if it didn't end with her running and screaming in horror, where could this go? After they left Hogwarts, he would have to face the wizarding world's prejudice head on, and she would get tired of it pretty quickly. He couldn't ask her to put up with everything that would come with dating a werewolf. Romance just... wasn't meant for creatures like him.

* * *

><p>The second weekend of April was fast approaching, and that meant only one thing – Quidditch!<p>

After winning the postponed match with Slytherin by a _very_ slim difference, Gryffindor was scheduled to have their second game with Hufflepuff on the 10th. James was pushing the team harder than ever, and Lisa couldn't be happier about it – flying always made her feel better. Plus, having something to concentrate on was a welcomed outlet for all of her pent up emotions. Remus had apparently decided to go the route of 'pretending that kiss never happened', though he did seem a bit more lost in thought lately. They continued talking and acting like normal, but he went back to avoiding being alone with her as much as possible. Well, if that's the way he wanted things to be, then fine. She couldn't force him into anything, and at least she got to continue being friends with him.

Lisa was going to turn seventeen on Thursday, so she and Dorcas decided to sneak out to Hogsmeade for some fun (and to escape all the looks people were giving her).

"What'll it be?" asked Dorcas, as the two of them stood in the middle of the High Street indecisively.

"I don't know," the Gryffindor muttered. "I actually... wanted to get something for Remus while we're here."

"Lupin? What for?"

"He got me something really sweet for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, but with... everything going on... I missed his. So I just wanted to return the flavor. Will you help me pick something?"

"Sure, why not?" Dorcas shrugged. "What will you get him then?"

"I have no idea." She couldn't think of anything big enough.

"Alright, let's... let's start with the basics. Is there anything he likes in particular?"

"Muggle jazz."

"Fat chance of finding any of that around here. Anything else?"

"The usual things..."

"I guess with him you can't go wrong with a book?"

"Is that _always_ your default idea? I've gotten books from you for five years straight! Besides, he'll probably get dozens of those."

"You liked the books, don't lie," Dorcas nudged her playfully. "There's a Quidditch store over there..."

"You're thinking of gifts for me," Lisa smirked. "He's not that into Quidditch."

"Something from Zonko's then? Or a new pair of socks? A new quill?"

"If he wanted any of those, he'd buy them himself!"

"Then why are we here!? He can just come to Hogsmeade and buy anything else we can get him!"

"I don't know!" Lisa exclaimed helplessly. Dorcas had a point. "I just... wanted to get him something... special."

Her friend gave her a sympathetic look and pulled her towards the closest building – Madam Puddifoot's.

"Come on. No point in freezing while you make up your mind."

The place wasn't as Lisa remembered it. It was a lot less pink than during the Valentine's season (the only time she had actually set foot in there) and it was a lot emptier without all the randy teenagers snogging everywhere. She took a seat with Dorcas in a more secluded corner of the café and stared at the wall thoughtfully.

"If you wanted to give him something unique, why not make it?" Dorcas suggested, after they ordered their hot chocolate.

"Because I can't make things," Lisa pouted. "My Grandma showed me how to knit when I was a kid, and I already made him a scarf for Christmas. I can't do anything else."

"You're a witch. You can do magic."

"You want me to invent a spell just for him?"

"Shouldn't be too hard," Dorcas shrugged. "What did he give you that was so great anyway?"

"He, um... enchanted an old gramophone to work within Hogwarts."

"Oh," the Slytherin said, a bit confused at the light blush that was coloring her friend's face. "That's... nice?"

"And I kissed him."

Dorcas' eyes went wide. "And you're just telling me about this _now_?"

"It doesn't matter," Lisa sighed. "I'm tired of this, Cass. I'm tired of chasing after him and worrying about where things are going between us. I've made myself perfectly clear, so it's up to him now. And seeing how he _hasn't_ made a move, I don't think he's ever going to."

"What're you saying? You wanna go back to Tenley?"

"I'm saying... that maybe romance isn't for me right now. He doesn't want to be with me and that's that. I think he's just too nice to come out and say it. There are more important things going on, anyway. I should be practicing my dueling and flying, not pining after someone I can't be with."

"That's not what I heard," Dorcas smirked playfully. "McKinnon spilled the beans pretty fast, even for her. She said the two of you practically snogged in the middle of the Common room."

"Since when do you listen to what Marlene has to say?" Lisa grumbled. "And we weren't snogging. It was... after Dumbledore told me in his office. He was just trying to comfort me."

"Listen," Dorcas' face grew serious and she placed a warm hand on Lisa's shoulder. "He's mad about you. Everyone can see it."

"I don't care what everyone sees!" Lisa snapped suddenly. "Whatever his reasons are, he rejected me. Now can we please stop dwelling on it?"

Dorcas looked at her friend with concern but dropped it, and they chatted about the loads of Charms homework that was waiting for them back at the castle, and how Filch would react if he found out there was a secret passage out of Hogwarts that he didn't know about.

"You know, I almost forgot," Lisa said, pulling out a piece of parchment, tied with a green ribbon from her robes and giving it to her friend.

Dorcas took it with a suspicious look and unrolled it, only to see it was another invitation to one of Slughorn's parties, which was to take place tomorrow.

"What're you giving me this for?"

"You wanted to go, right? It's tomorrow. Consider yourself my plus one."

"Really? You mean you want _me_ to go with you?"

"Who needs men, when you have friends, right?" Lisa smirked and Dorcas gave her a giant hug.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you went with something so <em>boring<em>," Dorcas said the next evening, as the two of them entered Slughorn's office.

"He has a sweet tooth," Lisa said back defensively. "And I didn't hear any other _brilliant_ ideas, so I had to do what I had to do."

Dorcas rolled her eyes, just as Slughorn spotted them and they had to endure about twenty minutes of his pompous speeches, before he finally left them alone to focus on some of his other 'pets'. The two girls took the opportunity to get a fill of Butterbeer and indulge in a bit of gossip about what everyone was wearing and who was coming with who. Unfortunatelly, another group of girls huddled along the wall had a similar idea.

"I mean, sullying her bloodline like that... it's just a darn shame," they heard a tall Slytherin girl say, followed by approving comments from the three others she was talking with. "She is part of The Sacred Twenty-Eight and she goes out with a _mudblood_?"

"Maybe she was counting on her sister to keep the line pure, so she could roll in the sheets with whomever she wanted."

Lisa's hand froze, just as she was bringing the goblet to her lips. _Her_ family was a part of 'The Sacred Twenty-Eight', a moronic registry for supposedly all truly pureblood families.

"Possibly, but why would she want that Hufflepuff, Tenley? He's not even _that _popular."

"That's not the only one she's been with. Haven't you heard? She's been walking down dark hallways with Black, having love-spats with Potter, _and_ there's even talk she spent the night in Remus Lupin's bed!"

"Why she went for _Lupin_ in particular is beyond me. Black I understand, he at least is handsome and has much better status, and same goes for Potter, even if they _are_ both blood traitors, and Tenley is at least acceptably good-looking. But Lupin? Pale and gaunt and _always_ with his nose stuck in a book. Why would _anyone_ date him, if both Potter and Black are always around?"

Lisa's hand shook, and some Butterbeer spilled onto the floor.

"You're not seriously falling for this, are you?" Dorcas whispered in her ear. "They're obviously trying to bait you!"

"Well, it's working," Lisa growled through gritted teeth.

"And you know, now that the little brat is dead, she's gonna have to step up to the plate, doesn't she? Pureblood women should not be wasted in times like these, when filth is corrupting so many respectable family trees."

The anger flared red-hot in Lisa's chest and she whipped around and splashed her drink right at the Slytherin's face. For a second, the girl stared in horror at her ruined dress, as the whole room went silent. Then she lunged herself at Lisa, burying both of her claw-like hands in her hair and pulling with all the strength of a mountain troll. The two stumbled through the room, engaged in an intense struggle, until there was a flash of light and the Slytherin was thrown back, painfully taking with her a whole fistful of hair.

Looking around the office, Lisa saw Dorcas' wand was out and all of the Slytherin girls were scattered on the ground with varying injuries.

"Looks like this party's over," Dorcas said, placing a hand on Lisa's back. "Let's go."

And before Slughorn could even utter anything about points, they slipped out the door. As they were leaving, Lisa threw one last look at the girl whose dress she ruined, and for a moment, it seemed like she was grinning.

* * *

><p>Severus Snape wrinkled his nose in disgust, as he entered he Hog's Head Inn.<p>

"Couldn't find a dirtier place fort the meeting?" he sneered at Rosier.

"I do not pick the rendezvous point," Rosier replied flatly and headed to a table in the corner, followed by Mulciber, Avery and Wilkes. Snape stood at the door for a second longer, before swallowing his revulsion and sitting down as well.

They sipped Firewhiskey in silence for about fifteen minutes, waiting for their contacts to arrive. Finally, the door opened to allow the aristocratic figure of Lucius Malfoy to enter the dingy pub. He also grimaced upon sweeping the room with his pale, scrutinizing gaze and headed to the Slytherin's table, joined by a burly wizard with a long, twisted face and chin-length brown hair, and a thickset man with neat black hair and a haughty look about him.

"Severus. Evan," Lucius said in greeting as he sat down, flanked by the other two. "I believe you've met Rodolphus, Evan? He married your cousin Bellatrix recently." Rosier nodded in acknowledgement to the haughty wizard and got a similar gesture in return. "And this is Antonin Dolohov. He is one of the Dark Lord's closest confidants." Dolohov gave them a self-important grin.

"And why is the Dark Lord sending us someone of such importance?" Snape questioned, not able to completely do away with the notes of sarcasm in his voice. "Shouldn't you be doing more... important things?"

"The Dark Lord is tired of your sluggish progress," Dolohov grinned even wider. "He sent me to personally remind you that He has given you a task. A task, which is still _incomplete_."

Snape held the Death Eater's stare with equal intensity.

"It's out of our control. We cannot act, until we have everything we need."

"Then you must get it, and do so quickly," Lucius said. "He is losing patience."

"I cannot control when a potion is done brewing!" Snape snapped. "It will be done when it's done, and not before."

"No need to get so flippant, Severus," Lucius said calmly. "We are only here to relate orders. Have you made any progress on locating the item?"

Snape and Rosier exchanged looks.

"I see," Lucius said quietly. "In that case, I suggest you get a move on. He's waited long enough."

"Hogwarts is a big castle," Rosier said in response. "The Dark Lord knows it will take more than a few months to search it thoroughly. And as Severus pointed out, we need the potion if we mean to search all the common rooms."

"If it was in a common room, it would have been found by now," Rodolphus threw in.

"Regardless of that, searching the school under Dumbledore's nose requites more than a little covert sneaking around and subtlety. We are doing what we can, under the circumstances," Rosier added.

"I'll be sure to tell the Dark Lord that," Lucius said with more than a few mocking tones in his voice and turned his gaze to Snape. "How far have you gotten with the werewolf?"

"I told you," Snape growled, "that he wouldn't listen to _me_. Lupin hates my guts, and it won't matter what I say or what threats you make-"

"That is _your_ concern," Rodolphus interjected. "The Dark Lord is not interested in excuses. He wants results."

"Well then maybe He should ask someone who wouldn't get hexed on sight as soon as he approached him!" Snape sputtered.

"We have a plan," Wilkes interrupted out of nowhere. "But it needs the potion to finish brewing. It will only be a few days now. Lupin will do the Dark Lord's bidding, whether he wants to or not."

"I'll hold you to that," Dolohov said, fixing Wilkes with a cold stare, voice dripping with threat. "Remember, that He does not tolerate failure. And neither do I."

"We will not disappoint him," Rosier said firmly.

* * *

><p>'<em>I wonder if he really <em>_**is**__ sick this time_,' Lisa thought to herself, as she was piling sausages on her plate before the match with Hufflepuff on Sunday, already in her Quidditch robes. Remus was gone for the last three days and Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let her into the Hospital Wing, so she had to send him the Honeydukes chocolate she got him through Gwen, and after asking James about it, she learned he wasn't going to show up for the match either. That was to be expected of course, as the moon would be full tonight. Lisa wondered if some full moons were worse than others and just how many people knew about it. His friends, surely, since they covered for him so fiercely, Snape, who someone was keeping quiet, Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore too, probably, and at least some teachers, she presumed...

Suddenly, her musings were interrupted by James, who planted himself next to her.

"Morn-"

"About Remus," he said, cutting straight to the chase. "Do you fancy him?"

She dropped her fork. "What!? Why would... where did that come fr-"

"Because he does." James looked her straight in the eyes. "But he's holding himself back. I'm telling you, because he's one of my best friends and I want him to be happy, but he won't _let himself_. You can't ask me why, but it's a stupid reason. He's got it in his head that no one would even want him, but we all know that's rubbish. I saw the two of you together after you got the news."

"James... I-"

"We've tried reasoning with him, but it's not working. Maybe you'll be able to knock some sense into him."

Lisa looked at her sausages, not truly seeing them. If he wasn't pushing her away because he didn't have feelings for her, then why...? Even though she had uncovered his (hopefully) biggest secret, there were still unexplainable things about him. Now that she knew, she had put together what the whole threatening scene in the Library back in November was about, and it made sense why Snape was so obsessed with him, but ... what about the scars? And the thing Snape wanted him to do? Were those connected to his lycanthropy at all? Or were they completely unrelated secrets? James said his reasons were stupid, but she wouldn't describe being a werewolf as _stupid_, so that probably wasn't it.

"What exactly do you want me to do, James? He already knows how I feel about him. How am I supposed to convince him his reason is stupid, when I don't even know what I'm talking about?!"

"You'll figure it out," James grinned, giving her a pat on the back. "Let's go, shall we? There's a game that needs winning."


	19. Full Moon

.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

**Full Moon**

The weather was cloudy and cold, but at least it didn't rain. The game lasted four hours and finished with a snitch caught for the Hufflepuff team but unfortunately for them, Lisa and James had plenty of time to score 520 points in total, to the opponent's 270. With such a colossal win, the Gryffindors were the favorites for winning the Quidditch Cup and the whole house was celebrating like mad. Sirius and Peter brought food and drinks from the kitchen (even managed to nick a few bottles of Firewhiskey from somewhere), and the wild party went on for almost as long as the game itself.

Lisa was just laughing at something Adrian Fleet said, when Marlene stumbled into her.

"What happened to my cupcakes?" Marlene slurred a bit drunkenly behind her shoulder.

"What cupcakes?" Lisa said with an amused smile.

"The ones you said you'd bring me! How did you get back here so fast, anyway?"

"I haven't gone anywhere, Mar."

"Did you send Lily _alone_? You know it's not exactly safe!"

"What are you on about?" Lisa's brows knitted.

"You and Lily! You left for the kitchens, like ten minutes ago!"

Lisa felt as if someone pulled the rug from under her. Looking around frantically, she noticed the absence of the redhead and swore loudly. She bolted out the portrait hole and down the corridor, having no actual idea where she was going. When she got to the second floor, Lisa stopped to draw breath and thought frantically where someone pretending to be her would take Lily. Looking around, hesitating which way to go, her glance chanced a look out the window and saw the unmistakable red glint of hair walking through the darkening grounds. And with her was the impostor, dressed in normal, black school robes.

Dashing like mad, Lisa made for the Entrance Hall, but by the time she got to the door, the only thing she managed to see was the fake her leading Lily into the Forbidden Forest. Her heart skipped a beat, but there was no time to think and worry, and ignoring the tearing pain in her lungs, Lisa ran after them. She wondered in the back of her mind what in the world would posses Lily to agree to a walk in the bloody _forest_, knowing full well it wasn't safe! Panting heavily and feeling like her sides would split soon, Lisa paused at the tree line. Which way did they go!? Thank Merlin it was getting dark, as soon she spotted two distant dots of light, wandering in deeper. Throwing any caution to the wind, Lisa pulled out her own wand and followed as quickly and as quietly as she could.

The two girls were just chatting pointlessly about homework and the game, as the real Lisa crept closer and closer. She could take out the impostor now, but where was she leading Lily? The Death Eaters were up to something dirty and she wanted to get to the bottom of it, so she followed them for nearly half an hour, ready to strike at the other her, as well as any other dangerous creature lurking near by. After walking in a much calmer pace, she found her breathing had normalized, just as they heard voiced up ahead. The fake Lisa suddenly yelled out a disarming spell and Lily's wand was flung away from her, as the other girl wrapped her around with thick ropes.

"What are you doing!?" Lily screamed, but was hit almost immediately with a silencing charm.

The fake Lisa didn't waste breath to explain anything, and the real one silently summoned Lily's discarded wand and followed them. After a few more minutes, they came into a clearing, where at least ten people were gathered in a circle, their wands lighting up the night. Some she recognized as fellow Defenders, but she guessed they were just more copycats. That's how they had gotten into the common rooms and suckered people into following them here!

"Tie her with the others," barked a tall Ravenclaw bloke, who Lisa had only seen in passing. This directed her attention to the trees, where more than two dozen students were tied up, each to a different tree trunk. Mary was there, trembling like a leaf, as was Seth, and scanning the other faces quickly, Lisa realized every single one of them was muggle-born.

As the group of disguised Death Eaters shifted around a bit, she could make out another form, tied up and curled on his knees in the middle of their circle. She tried to move closer and saw with a sharp pain in her chest that it was Remus.

Lisa couldn't breathe. She felt like she would start hyperventilating any second, but ordered herself to take deep, silent breaths. She wasn't going to be on any help if they discovered her. She concentrated on counting how many of them there were and wanted to smack herself for not attacking the person that looked like her and just saved Lily when she _actually_ stood a chance. Then again, if she had, she would've never discovered they had Remus.

Twelve of them and a bunch of tied up, probably wandless muggle-borns. Chances were slim. Not helping matters was the fact they were so deep into the forest, the Death Eaters would probably feel safe enough to use killing curses.

Lisa crept as silently as she could around the clearing, and heard Lily's voice cry out:

"Remus! What're you going to do to him!?"

'_The silence charm must be wearing off'_, Lisa thought.

"You... fools," Remus croaked from the ground, trying desperately to stand up, but the ropes kept him still. "Don't you know what will happen to me in a few minutes?!"

The Death Eater that had Lisa's face took a step towards him and pulled his head up by the hair. He groaned in pain and Lisa had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from running out into the open.

"We're counting on it," her doppelganger whispered menacingly. Remus' eyes widened in horror.

"You're just going to leave them here... for me," he realized. "Aren't you?"

"How perceptive," another Death Eater sneered. "Yes Lupin, take a good look at your dinner. Did you really think refusing the Dark Lord would do you any good? You _will_ make an army for him... whether you want to or not."

Remus struggled frantically against the restraints again as the Death Eaters laughed, but it was hopeless.

Lisa snuck up quietly behind Lily's tree and silently undid the ropes. It seemed the Death Eaters had decided Remus' struggle was very amusing and the circle of people around him tightened, as they continued to taunt him. With them distracted, Lisa pulled the back of Lily's robes and the two of them slowly retreated into the darkness.

"Six for you and six for me. You up for it?" Lisa whispered quietly, giving the redhead her wand back.

Lily nodded, a determined flame burning in her eyes. Lisa whispered her plan to her and the two of them crept in opposite directions.

"Don't touch my robes, you mutt!" one of the Death Eaters yelled suddenly. "_Crucio!_"

Remus twisted in pain on the grass, terrifying screams coming out of his throat. Lisa remembered with a pang of pain the feeling this curse could bring and desperation flared up in her chest like a hot blaze and fired the signal early. A silver bunny hopped onto the clearing and the screams seized, as everyone's attention was caught by the little ball of light. Lily shot a silent spell from somewhere on the other end of the field and one of the Death Eaters fell down. After a second, Lisa followed her example and another one lost consciousness.

"We're under attack!" someone screamed and ten wands were out in the blink of an eye.

The two girls managed to take down three more, before spells flew in every direction. Keeping low but ever changing her position, Lisa ducked and fired and ducked some more, as hexes flew past her or hit the trunks she was hiding behind. Soon she noticed they were indeed using killing curses and shouting _Crucio!_ left and right, and the ball of nerves in her stomach increased considerably. She hoped to Merlin Remus had the good sense to stay down, and she kept glancing up at the sky every so often. They had to defeat those Death Eaters and do it _fast_!

There was a scream from the opposite side of the clearing, and Lisa knew Lily had been hit. Hoping it wasn't a killing curse, she jumped out from behind the tree line and engaged in and open duel with four of them, the others going after Lily. '_We'll never make it_', she thought, but never the less she twirled, twisted, and shot hexes, trying to draw her attackers away from Lily. She managed to take one out, but the rest were pressing her so hard, she was about to lose at any moment...!

Suddenly, three figures ran into the clearing and James, Sirius and Peter entered the fight, wands whizzing and sparks flying everywhere. After a very intense couple of minutes, all of the Death Eaters were scattered to the ground and Lisa realized with surprise they had won. She threw a quick glance to make sure Lily was alright and saw James asking her questions feverishly, as Sirius and Peter were untying the muggle-borns. Flinging herself to her knees, she bent down to check on Remus. Brushing the hair away from his face, she almost cried when she discovered him mostly unharmed. Lisa caressed his cheek tenderly and his eyes snapped open.

"Run," he said raspily. "Get... away!"

"Everyone grab an unconscious person and head for the school! Now!" James shouted suddenly.

The students were confused but obeyed, as a low growl was rising in Remus' throat. Lisa stepped away quickly, realizing what was about to happen.

"What's wrong with him?" Lily shrieked and tried to come closer, but Sirius caught a hold of her

"Go! We'll take care of him!"

"What did they do?!" Lily cried again, as terrifying snapping sounds came from Remus and his whole body was convulsing.

"We can't just leave you here with him!" Lisa shouted and her eyes locked with James. She was sure he knew, and tried to make him understand somehow that she couldn't let the three of them deal with a werewolf alone.

"We've got this! Run!" James yelled.

Playing Quidditch together for years had let her develop a sort of silent understanding with him. Lisa held his intense stare for a couple more seconds but ultimately knew what that look meant, so she only nodded, grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her away. She had to _trust_ that James and the Marauders knew what they were doing. Out there, hesitation in a moment like this could mean the difference between life and death, and her task right now was to take Lily out of there _alive_. As the two ran through the dark trees, a terrifying howl cut the air and chilled the very blood in their veins.

* * *

><p>The Common room was empty, though remnants of the party were visible everywhere. Mary and the rest of the muggle borns hurried to their beds, desperate to wake up tomorrow and think of this whole experience as just a bad dream. Only Lily and Lisa stayed behind, waiting for the Marauders. Lily asked a few questions and Lisa explained what she could and feigned ignorance of what she couldn't.<p>

In the hours to come, Lisa tried to get some sleep, knowing it would be long before they could return, but something kept her awake. It was a nagging sense of worry, which she realized was probably pointless. Werewolves could take care of themselves even in the Forbidden Forest, regardless of whatever creatures might be in there. She remembered the rumors that a pack of them lived there and wondered if it was true, or if Remus was a part of it. She still didn't know what the Marauders were planning to do with him, and hoped they wouldn't hurt him.

It was a little before sunrise and the sky was just beginning to brighten, when the four boys climbed through the portrait hole. They all looked exhausted, James was sporting a nasty looking gash on his shoulder and Remus' clothes were tattered and dirty. Lisa rose from her seat and silently flung herself into his arms.

"Get a room," Sirius snickered.

"How about the dormitory? I could use a bit of help with this," James tried to lift his injured arm, but groaned in pain.

Everyone nodded in agreement and the six of them made their way into the boys' dorm. As much as she didn't want to let go of Remus, Lisa sat on James' bed and healed his wound. He moved it around cautiously.

"Good. I was worried for a second I might lose it. You lot will never win the Cup without me," he quipped, as Lily's face became slightly green. "It was just a joke, Evans!" he added quickly, seeing her expression.

"What happened out there?" Sirius turned to Lisa.

"They were-..." she looked at everyone in the room in turn, wondering how much of what she knew should be revealed. "They, um... they took hair from different people in order in infiltrate the common rooms, I think. I got into a fight with a girl a few days ago and she took a whole lock of hair... Urg, I was such an _idiot_! If I hadn't fallen for-" She took a deep breath, then exhaled sharply. "Anyway, Marlene told me '_I_' went to the kitchens with Lily, so I knew something dodgy was happening. I followed them into the woods, and tried to-"

"You followed them!?" James snapped. "Why didn't you tell anyone!? What would've you two done if we didn't come? You were completely outnumbered!"

"How _did_ you know to come?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"We went to visit Moony in the Hospital Wing and saw you entering the forest out the window," Peter shot quickly.

"There was no time to get help," Lisa continued tiredly. "I barely managed to catch up to them. I only realized how bad the situation was after we got to the clearing and I saw Lily get tied up!"

Remus' eyes snapped to her, burning with emotion. She was there the entire time? Did that mean...?

"But everyone they lured was a muggle-born. What did they want with Remus?" Lily mused, placing a concerned hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay? You were screaming in pain and... What did they _do_ to you?"

The room was quiet, but Lily didn't notice the nervous looks the Marauders exchanged.

"I have a theory!" Lisa called suddenly, though she had no idea where she was going with that. "I think... um, they probably... they wanted to get rid of the muggle-borns, right, and, and they needed someone to take the blame. Yeah, so, they took Remus, because... because he was alone in the Hospital Wing?" Merlin, she was a bloody awful liar under pressure. "Yes, that must be it, and, um, and they must've hit him with a, a faulty spell or something, right, so it had a delayed effect? Yes, and they did it in the middle of the woods to... hide the bodies! Right, to hide the bodies. So no one would know."

"No one would know a dozen people went missing?" Lily lifted an eyebrow skeptically.

"Erm, well... maybe they didn't think too far ahead! Why do you automatically presume they're such great tacticians!?"

"Why don't we just ask one of them?" the redhead suggested. "I can whip up some Veritaserum an-"

"NO!" everyone but Lily and Remus exclaimed, making her eye them suspiciously.

"What is _wrong_ with all of you!?"

"Veritaserum isn't perfect," Sirius said quickly.

"Yeah, you don't want them filling your head with more lies, right? Right. Let's forget about that, then," Lisa blurted out.

Lily shook her head at the nonsense they were spewing, but the Marauders all gave Lisa a pointed look.

"You know... don't you?" Remus muttered, bowing his head low.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" she shot quickly. Too quickly. Remus groaned and buried his hands in his hair.

"It's a bit stuffy in here," James said, pulling Lily to her feet. "Let's go get some air in the common room. I challenge you to Exploding Snap, Evans!"

And with that, the others left with a confused Lily in tow, shooting last sympathetic looks at Remus.

They stood there in an awkward silence for a while, until she got off James' bed and went to sit next to him.

"How long?" he asked hoarsely, without looking up.

"Erm... since about February, so... a couple of months."

He moaned despairingly and pulled on his hair.

"Stop that," she said gently and tried to touch his hands, but he jumped as if she stung him.

"Don't touch me!" he yelled. "Don't you understand what I am!? I almost killed you, _twice_! You can't come near me!"

She stared at him in astonishment for a second and stood up as well.

"Get a grip," she said, coming closer. "You would never hurt me."

"Are you _daft_!? I was _this_ close to-"

"When you were transformed. When you're conscious, I'm safe with you."

He shook his head in both denial and disbelief and took another step back.

"Stop this," she said, following suit. "I'm not afraid."

"Then you're barking mad! I'm a _werewolf, _Lisa!"

"One night of the month! The rest of the time you're you!"

His head shook violently side to side again, which only served to piss her off.

"I'm not an idiot, you know! I did my research on this! You _are_ normal most of the time, so why are you still so afraid?!"

"Because I'm in love with you!"

She gawked at him in shock, as his face reflected pure horror. Turning on his heel, he swung the door open and ran down the stairs. She came to her senses and bolted after him, but he was already halfway to the portrait hole.

"Catch him!" she yelled and James and Sirius immediately sprung from their seats and seized their friend by the forearms.

"What the hell?!" she shouted, making her way over. "What _is_ it with you and running away every time something happens between us!? You can't just drop a bomb like that on me and take off, without even giving me the chance to say it back!"

Remus' eyes snapped to meet hers, and she was uncomfortably aware that the Marauders and Lily were watching them, but it was now or never.

"I love you too!"

James and Sirius exchanged astounded glances, then their faces stretched into almost identical grins. Remus on the other hand didn't even seem convinced.

"What about Sirius? And Tenley?"

"_What?!_"

"There was never anything between Fawley and me, mate," Sirius chimed in from the side.

"And there never will be!" she shot quickly. "What would ever make you think I could fall for someone like _him_? All he ever did was embarrass me with his dirty jokes! He's way too much of a sleaze ball for me! No offence," she added towards Sirius, but he just grinned.

"None taken."

"And Seth..." She took a deep breath. She had to say it. "The only reason I went out with him in the first place, was to try to make you jealous!"

Sirius and James erupted in laughter, as Lisa's face became red as a Quaffle.

"Why are we having this conversation out here?!" she grumbled and dragged Remus back to the dorm, the sound of everyone's laughter following them all the way to the door.

He barely waited for her to close it, when he wheeled on her and said,

"You can't be with me."

"Why not?!"

"I'm too dangerous."

"So you can have _friends_, but not a girl?!"

"It's different for them!"

"How?! _How_ is it different? You spend most of your time with them already, and they're fine!"

"You don't understand... there's a stigma, if anyone found out..."

"What makes you think I care?"

"_I_ care!"

She grabbed the front of his robes and crashed her lips into his.

"Too bad."

She kissed him again, and he whimpered helplessly. Her fingers flew into his hair, and her back hit the door. In spite of everything he wanted to say, Remus' hands found themselves on her hips and roamed the soft skin under her Quidditch jumper. Her hands ran over his chest and shoulders, feeling every curve, every muscle of his upper body, spreading waves of pleasure through him. Her touch was clouding his mind, breaking his barriers, melting his fears. Tearing away from her lips, he trailed kisses down her neck and she sighed softly in his hair and inhaled the intoxicating sent of him, mixed with that of soil, leaves and wind and her lips returned to his mouth, enjoying the slight scratching of his stubble against her face. His breathing became more ragged and he pressed her harder against the door as her fingers ran over a spot on the back of his neck that made him shiver, before he abruptly pulled away and panted heavily.

"We shouldn't do this."

"Shut up," she whispered, pulling his face down once again.


	20. The Dark Lord Knows All

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

**The Dark Lord Knows All**

"We need to talk," Remus said nervously, sliding down on a chair next to Lisa, as she was writing her Herbology homework with Dorcas in the Library.

"No, we don't," she replied casually, not even bothering to look up.

"Yes, we do," he insisted. "This... us... it can't go on."

She rolled her eyes with a sigh and looked at him pointedly.

"Are we really doing this again?"

Over the last week and a half, he had tried to break up with her a total of twelve times. He went between being deliriously happy to crumbling under guilt every few hours. She reached out to caress his cheek, making his eyes unwittingly close with pleasure and brought her face close to kiss him.

"We're not breaking up. Now go away, I have to finish this before lunch."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she threw him a sharp look and he closed it, fumbled for a moment with the strap of his bag, then left.

"I don't know how you put up with this," Dorcas said, but there was a smile playing on her lips. "I swear, he tries to break up with you like once a day."

"Twice," Lisa shrugged. "But it's worth it."

"It better be, after all that pining and sighing and '_oh, why can't he just snog my brains out_'..."

"I never said that!" Lisa laughed, throwing a ball of parchment at her friend.

"Might as well have!" Dorcas giggled, throwing it back. "I bet that's exactly what you did on the last patrol, isn't it?"

"Who the hell makes out when they're supposed to be looking out for Death Eaters?" Lisa snorted. "Unless... oh, no, don't tell me you and Sirius last week...? I thought you were doing me a favor by switching!"

Dorcas gave her a wolfish grin.

"I was. But hey, what's life without a bit of fun, eh? Play the cards you've been dealt and all that..."

"That was dangerous, you know! What if they caught you?"

"Please," Dorcas waved dismissively. "Between him and me, we could take the whole lot of them."

The girls stifled a laugh.

"By the way, Slughorn is having another 'get together'. Wanna go?" Lisa suggested.

"Am I allowed to?" Dorcas raised an eyebrow. "I did attack three of his 'pets'."

"I know, but... you really wanted to go and I botched it up for you. You didn't even get to meet any celebrities."

"True... and your new _boyfriend_ has been cutting into girl time lately..."

Lisa couldn't help but smile at the word 'boyfriend'. It seemed so strange to refer to him like that, but it made her feel all warm inside.

"Speaking of Slughorn's parties…" Dorcas said, suddenly serious. "Be careful. I don't like what those girls were saying about you."

"You mean that I'm a slag? Why does that matter?"

"No, not the silly rumors. About you being pureblood."

"What about it?"

"I don't know… That you're not on their side. How many purebloods are against the Death Eaters?"

"James, Sirius, Frank…"

"I wasn't talking about them. Men can date whomever without… sullying their bloodline."

Lisa's jaw dropped. "You're not serious."

Dorcas threw her a look. "I'm just saying."

"What about Alice?"

"She's with a pureblood. Most are at least sympathizing with them already, not that there are that many of you, but none that I can think of are dating half-bloods or muggle-borns. Except you."

"You've lost it," Lisa shook her head. "They care about killing and torturing, not…"

"They're blood purists. They kill and torture _because_ they think being pureblood makes you better than the rest."

"Being a blood traitor makes you about as bad as a muggle-born!"

"Still, it wouldn't hurt to be cautious. Why not schedule patrols with more people?"

"You know it's not up to me. Everyone signs in when they have time."

"Why don't you just watch for an opportunity when more are going then?"

"I don't need body guards! And I still think your idea is barmy."

"Excuse me for looking out for you," Dorcas rolled her eyes.

On the other side of the shelf, Severus Snape put back the book he was perusing and smiled ominously.

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><p>"Could you two <em>be<em> any more nauseating?" Marlene groaned playfully in the Gryffindor common room late that afternoon.

"Hm?" Lisa lifted the gaze from her book. "What do you mean?"

She was sitting in Remus' lap in one of the squishy armchairs, legs hanging from the side and head leaning on his shoulder, as the two of them were reading _**The Decline of Pagan Magic**_ together, him holding the book and she turning the pages.

"You're just kinda... disgusting," Sirius joined in from the other chair. Lisa and Remus exchanged confused glances.

"We... aren't doing anything," Remus said.

"You don't have to! Just looking at you two makes me want to kill myself," Marlene said.

"Really? It makes _me_ want to vomit," Sirius added jokingly.

"What do you want us to do, stand in opposite ends of the room?" Remus said sarcastically.

"Well, _that's_ not happening," Lisa said quickly and wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling his neck. Groans and gagging sounds immediately echoed around them, but it only made her chuckle against his skin.

"I think if I look at this scene any longer I'll develop diabetes," James said, standing up. "Anyone up for a trip to the kitchens?"

"Anything to get away from here," Peter volunteered immediately.

"Frank and Alice at least have the decency to do such things away from others," Lily added, getting up as well.

"We'll try to read less disgustingly in the future," Remus rolled his eyes.

Their friends laughed and went out, which left Lisa once again free to snuggle up to Remus, inhale his amazingly sweet scent and sink into a good book. It was a little odd how fast and easy the transition from 'friends and classmates' to 'a couple' was for them. It just... seemed natural, as if that was how it had always been.

Near the end of chapter twenty-six, a thought popped into her head.

"Remus?"

"Mm?"

"I'm going to one of Slughorn's soirées next week."

"I thought you didn't like those."

"I don't, but... Cass said she wanted to go and last time I took her, we ended up in a brawl."

"You've been in the Slug Club a while. Haven't you ever brought her?"

"Er... I try to avoid them... and normally the invitation is only for one. He makes exceptions, like on holidays or when someone important has a birthday..."

"Right."

"Right. So... it's alright that I'm taking her and not you?"

He gave her an amused look. "Did you think I'd get mad about that?"

"Not really…" she trailed off, playing with his tie.

"What's wrong?" he asked seriously, closing the book.

"It's nothing," she said stubbornly. "Just something Dorcas said."

He waited for her to continue. She sighed.

"She's got this idea… because a few weeks ago, when I got into that fight with the Slytherin girl…"

"When she took your hair."

"Yes, then. But before that she said something… and since she turned out to be a Death Eater…..." He stared at her expectantly without interrupting. "She sort of said something about me being pureblood and about my family being one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight… and how I should… keep the line pure."

"I wouldn't worry about that," he said reassuringly, kissing her forehead. "The Death Eaters have never had an interest of… breeding purebloods. They have most of them in their ranks already."

"So you don't think…?"

"I'm sure they won't try something like that. It's just not the way they've been doing things up until now."

"But before Voldemort didn't have such a strong following and…"

"Voldemort only wants power. The only way he sees of 'keeping lines pure' is to cut off the 'corrupted' branches. Sirius was blasted off his family tree when he ran away last summer."

"He ran away?!"

"Wouldn't you? His home life wasn't exactly a happy one."

"Where did he go?"

"To James'. Where else?" Remus smirked and she chuckled.

Talking with him helped alleviate her worries. As much as she thought the idea was ludicrous, a small part of her must've taken it seriously after all.

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><p>"Much better turn out than last time," Dorcas noted upon entering Slughorn's office. "He sure likes throwing parties often."<p>

"Like once a week," Lisa said with disdain. "Sometimes more."

"Is that... _Celestina Warbeck__?_"

"Let's go talk to her," Lisa smirked and took her dazzled friend's hand.

After an hour or so of speaking to famous and successful people (not to mention the usual twenty minutes with Slughorn), Dorcas seemed very pleased with the evening. Lisa on the other hand was rather bored. Outside of Quidditch stars and inventors (none of which were present in that night's events), she rarely found the ex-Slug Club members all that interesting.

"Don't you want to make some connections? You're in, why not take advantage of it?" Dorcas asked, as the two of them were hovering around the buffet.

"I just don't see the point. I don't much fancy a career in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes," Lisa shrugged, inclining her head towards the head of the department, talking jovially with Dahlia Fleur-Peri.

"How about the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures? That was always your favorite subject. Haven't you thought of a career path yet?"

"I... I don't think I'll have much time for that, after I leave Hogwarts."

Dorcas looked at her friend pointedly.

"You don't mean what I think you do."

"There are others out there that need someone to fight for them."

"And what are you going to do, _patrol the streets_?"

"I'm not sure exactly," Lisa leaned in and whispered, "Dumbledore's got some sort of opposition going."

Dorcas' eyes widened in shock.

"So you want to... you want to... _join him_?" Lisa nodded. "You realize what this means, don't you?" Another nod. Dorcas found herself at a loss for words. "After they almost killed your entire family? After what happened to Julie?"

"Especially because of what happened to Julie," Lisa said in a steely tone, which the Slytherin didn't often hear in her voice. "You don't have to come, you know," she added, more softly. "In fact, it'd give me one less person to worry about."

Dorcas was quiet for a while. Going off against Voldemort was madness. Protecting all muggles and muggleborns was not a goal they could realistically strive for, and _stopping_ him was even more impossible. What were they hoping to accomplish by dying for a cause they couldn't achieve? But then, Dorcas thought, Dumbledore was no fool. He seemed a bit barmy at times, but there was no question about the sharpness of his mind or the power of his abilities. If _he_ had assembled a fighting force, then he must have some sort of plan. A man like him wouldn't casually risk lives, after all. And if they actually managed to kill _Voldemort_, if they somehow pulled it off... the Death Eaters would scatter without a leader. And Voldemort was, after all, just a man. A very powerful wizard, but nonetheless, not immune against Avada Kedavra. Maybe with some of the Defenders on his side, Dumbledore stood a respectable chance. And someone had to look after Lisa.

"What the hell," Dorcas shrugged. "Everybody dies at some point, right? Why not make it exciting."

"You can't make this decision lightly," Lisa urged her. "It'll be great to have you by my side, but I need you to be sure."

Just as Dorcas was about to answer, a worried Ravenclaw pushed his way though the crowd and came to them, panting heavily.

"What's wrong with you, Fenwick? Late for the party?" Dorcas quipped, but Benjy's face was dead serious as he shook his head, still unable to speak. He reached into his robes and gave them a blank piece of parchment.

The girls exchanged glances and dragged Benjy off with them outside. Lisa pulled out her wand and said '_I solemnly swear I am up to the fight_'. The Defenders' schedule appeared immediately, but both of them gasped as they saw it was, for a lack of a better word, vandalized. Right across the multicolored columns, someone had written with big green letters: THE DARK LORD KNOWS ALL.

"What does this mean?" Dorcas asked, a bit of panic showing under her usually calm voice.

"There's something here," Lisa noticed, bringing the parchment closer to her eyes. In the corner, someone had scratched hastily '_Same bat-time, same bat-channel!_' "It's from James," she added, recognizing the messy handwriting.

"Bats? Channels? What the blooming hell does that mean!?" Dorcas exclaimed in frustration.

"It's from an old muggle telly show," Benjy called beside them. The girls exchanged confused glances. "We learned about it in Muggle Studies. When the show ended, the main character, who is a muggle that dresses as a bat to fight crime, says that to remind the viewers to tune in again next week."

"Muggles are off their nut," said Dorcas, shaking her head in disbelief.

"When did this happen?" Lisa cut through.

"Er... in the sixties... but they still show re-runs."

"Not the show! The schedule!"

"Oh. About an hour ago. Why?"

"Because James is calling a meeting. Same time, same place."

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><p>The next day at exactly 2 pm, Dorcas and Lisa entered the Three Broomsticks. They were quickly relieved to discover their theory was correct, as at least half of the Defenders had understood the message and sneaked out to Hogsmeade. The two girls quickly grabbed a chair and sat down.<p>

"Were you followed?" Sirius asked, barely above a whisper. Dorcas shook her head negatively. Everyone at the table exchanged grim glances.

"They know," Frank muttered through gritted teeth. "Someone sold us out."

"No one sold us out," James said matter-of-factly.

"Someone did," Dorcas chipped in. "Only a member knows how to make the schedule visible."

"No one _could_ betray us, even if they wanted to," Remus explained. "We charmed the letters we sent you. If you tired to tell anyone who didn't get one of those themselves, you'd lose any memory of the whole thing."

Everyone gaped at him.

"That not excessive or anything!" Marlene growled.

"Anyone could be tortured or Imperiused into talking," Sirius glared at her in kind.

"What about Legilimency?" Lily asked. "Se-, I mean, we've seen some of them can do it."

The Marauders exchanged glances. It seems they hadn't thought of that.

"What does it matter how they found out?" Dorcas said. "They know, and the schedules are useless now."

"We have a substitute," Sirius pulled out three black notebooks and gave one to Benjy Fenwick, one to Dorcas and one to Emma Vance. "They work the same way. We figured less people walking around with it, less of a chance the Death Eaters will find it. From now on, you tell the notebook holder in your house when you can go on patrol and they coordinate with each other. James is the holder for Gryffindor."

The students around the table nodded in agreement.

"One more thing," James added. "They saw the timetable, before we could erase it. They know our names now, so try to be alone as little as possible and _be on your guard_."

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><p><strong><em>AN: Wanted to address the concerns of Jofrench22 (who unfortunately is a guest, so I cannot PM) really quick: First, how come Dumbledore didn't get wind of any of this? He did. He did know a group of Voldemort supporters existed within the school, and yes, he was aware there were attacks. But what do you suggest he should do about it? No one has died yet, nor has been seriously injured, even. The Defenders stepped into the picture and he just decided to let them do their thing. What other option does he have? Just expel anyone who supports Voldemort? Then he'd have to dispense with most of the Slytherins, not to mention a lot were bullied into it, but wouldn't admit it. He couldn't just start kicking people out indiscriminately. Granted, if someone did get seriously hurt or died, he would be forced to act, but so far he's counting on the Defenders. _**_**Secondly, Dumbledore is not, and never had been, omnipotent. **__**He had no idea**__** about and couldn't stop a basilisk. **__**He didn't know**__** the Marauders were animagi, I have no idea how he missed that one. He couldn't see someone was impersonating Moody, a person he had known for many years. **_

_**Dumbledore did know about the Death Eater movement, but not any specifics. He didn't know when Hermione was brewing polyjuice in second year, how would he know when Snape was doing it? He didn't know about the Marauders sneaking around with a bloody werewolf on the school grounds, how would he notice small groups of students sneaking into the forest in pairs? As for your, erm, third point, the answer is yes... and no. You'll see what I mean when you read Chapter 23.  
><strong>_

**_Anyway, thank you for bring this up, I really appreciate the feedback. :)_**


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